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AIBU?

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Is our town a shithole..

860 replies

FroggletTowers · 12/06/2025 13:53

Or is this happening anywhere else?

I have been discussing this with friends, family and colleagues recently so won't name our town for privacy reasons, but it is a regular, large town in England, UK.
Nothing particularly special or awful about it, previously.

Since the pandemic, the entire vibe has changed. Almost unrecognisable.
Yes, we have some heavy shop closures like many towns, but the council kept it looking decent as much as it could. Some nice buildings and nature areas, etc.

What stands out most, apart from the general vandalism and dog shit is the weird accumulation of male groups hanging around boozing in public.

So far they have taken over the local park, river walks and nature reserves. They often cluster beneath bridges or across paths where people like to run, cycle walk dogs or take children, making it less safe and filling these areas with waste. Off road bikes have ruined the nature reserves, so less people visit Sad

Sadly the authorities don't seem to be doing much about it, it is as if these people don't have to abide by laws that the rest of us have to. Some buildings adjacent to these areas have windows put through on a regular basis, even in what you'd call 'nice' areas.
Many of them cluster at river bridges and block the path for others, most are very drunk or out of generally.
It isn't unusual to see a large man passed out across the pathway, blocking anyone getting past. If you had a pram or bike it would be really uncomfortable to have to rouse a large drunk at 2pm in the afternoon. Most are local men, with a growing amount of middle eastern men. The vast majority of them are unstable.

We see less women out cycling, walking or exercising now, and this encompasses both MC and WC areas. These people seem to have just multiplied and spread across the entire borough and have taken over all public space.
We live in a decent area that is now seeming to go downhill.
It isn't unusual to see day drinkers sat alone, surrounded by cans on a quiet residential street. And they won't move to let you past.

It's really depressing.

OP posts:
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MasterBeth · 14/06/2025 10:30

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 07:01

No one can say anything freely anymore because political correctness has laid waste to honest conversation. Everyone feels offended. It’s bullshit.

Yes, no-one is allowed to say the thing YOU ARE FREELY DISCUSSING ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD.

And families aren't discouraged from having more children WHEN THE PREVIOUS GOVERNMENT INTRODUCED A TWO-CHILD LIMIT ON BENEFITS AND THIS GOVERNMENT HASN'T OVERTURNED IT.

Even if we agree that there are gazillions of feckless parents sponging off the state, you have to answer this question:

Why should we punish their children?

Liss19 · 14/06/2025 10:23

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:11

Ahh, so you were a slave!! 😁. I haven’t moved to Barth! Are you mixing me up with another poster?

Ohhh thought you said you moved away to bath lol, must have been someone else.

So you still live locally then i guess. Funny how theres always somone local in pretty much every chat ive interacted with. Tbh not been on here in a long time, the headline of this post caught my eye 😅. Lets hope the work on the town centre at least makes it look more appealing 🤞😅. Its no longer a community feel. Bring back the pool on sutton lawn and have proper security for that and the cafe and park and people would come together more. A friendly inclusive community feel makes people less likely to be bad. Im ever the optomist 😆

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:11

Liss19 · 14/06/2025 09:09

Unfortunately as the oldest of 5 i spent time babysitting my siblings without pay 😆. All my family live around here except one sibling so i could never see myself moving. What made you move to Bath. Or Barth 😊

This thread heading made me think OP was maybe from here too 😆.

Ahh, so you were a slave!! 😁. I haven’t moved to Barth! Are you mixing me up with another poster?

Liss19 · 14/06/2025 09:09

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 08:55

We started work earlier back in the day! I was cleaning, helping in an egg shop and occasionally babysitting at a local farm at 12 years old. When I’d finished babysitting and it was dark, my dog used to come and meet me to walk me home. (Irrelevant to the thread, I know).

Unfortunately as the oldest of 5 i spent time babysitting my siblings without pay 😆. All my family live around here except one sibling so i could never see myself moving. What made you move to Bath. Or Barth 😊

This thread heading made me think OP was maybe from here too 😆.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 08:55

Liss19 · 14/06/2025 08:44

Im 38 next week, born and bred at kingmill and had 3 kids born there too. We avoid both sutton and mansfield town centres tbh unless needed. We live near kingsmill so thankfully kinda out of town and weve managed to do ok for ourselves but only because hubby has got a decent job engineering based like his dad. I came from good old carsic 😅🙈 but have worked all my life from as soon as i could get a paper round 😆

We started work earlier back in the day! I was cleaning, helping in an egg shop and occasionally babysitting at a local farm at 12 years old. When I’d finished babysitting and it was dark, my dog used to come and meet me to walk me home. (Irrelevant to the thread, I know).

Liss19 · 14/06/2025 08:44

Crikeyalmighty · 14/06/2025 00:09

@Liss19 because it’s the only place round there with a Reform MP!! Bit of a give away - I’m accurate though aren’t I - full of blokes with a huge chip on their shoulder and their gangsters molls who go along with their ignorant racist shit as they need 2 incomes to get by . Jealous as hell of anyone doing ok - it was never like this when I was a teen - problem is all the mines closed and with them went the quite well paying working class jobs and it all became a bit dog eat dog - I’m a kings mill born girl and my 2 oldest sons were born there ( in their 40s now)

Im 38 next week, born and bred at kingmill and had 3 kids born there too. We avoid both sutton and mansfield town centres tbh unless needed. We live near kingsmill so thankfully kinda out of town and weve managed to do ok for ourselves but only because hubby has got a decent job engineering based like his dad. I came from good old carsic 😅🙈 but have worked all my life from as soon as i could get a paper round 😆

bipbopdo · 14/06/2025 08:26

Dappy777 · 13/06/2025 13:46

The problem is, we have a benefit system that encourages the worst members of society to have lots of kids, who they then raise to be just like them. I don’t mean the poor (it’s the good people on low incomes who are their main victims). I mean the violent, ignorant, anti-social scumbags who make their neighbours’ lives a living hell. Some people are not fit to have or raise children. Every sane, rational human being knows this. It’s crazy that people with a record of abusing and neglecting children are allowed to have more. We (quite rightly) stop people who’ve abused animals from keeping them. Yet people who abuse and neglect their kids, and who raise them to be violent and feral, are not only allowed to have more but paid by the taxpayer for doing so.

Edited

I was raised as one of five by a single mother on benefits. I’m now a higher rate taxpayer (by a significant margin) and an active member of my community. All of my siblings are employed, educated and have never been in any trouble with the authorities.

My mother was groomed by predatory older men when she was very young and had no-one to look out for her. She did her best with what she had. It’s easy to make sweeping generalisations about certain groups instead of approaching things in a nuanced way. I’m not saying difficult conversations don’t need to be had, but come on now.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 07:01

Parsley1234 · 14/06/2025 06:49

@Dappy777 completely agree but no one can say the obvious

No one can say anything freely anymore because political correctness has laid waste to honest conversation. Everyone feels offended. It’s bullshit.

Parsley1234 · 14/06/2025 06:49

@Dappy777 completely agree but no one can say the obvious

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 06:31

Dappy777 · 13/06/2025 13:46

The problem is, we have a benefit system that encourages the worst members of society to have lots of kids, who they then raise to be just like them. I don’t mean the poor (it’s the good people on low incomes who are their main victims). I mean the violent, ignorant, anti-social scumbags who make their neighbours’ lives a living hell. Some people are not fit to have or raise children. Every sane, rational human being knows this. It’s crazy that people with a record of abusing and neglecting children are allowed to have more. We (quite rightly) stop people who’ve abused animals from keeping them. Yet people who abuse and neglect their kids, and who raise them to be violent and feral, are not only allowed to have more but paid by the taxpayer for doing so.

Edited

Completely agree. It’s not going to get any better.

NattyTurtle59 · 14/06/2025 01:03

2021x · 12/06/2025 20:36

I live in a city in NZ about the size of a town in the UK, and its worse here too. There was a couple of homeless people before the pandemic and were generally kept to themselves. Now the homeless people are clearly mentally unwell and have increased considerably.

The town centre has lost a lot of major retailers, and the shops can't be leased. The govt, had to switch to cost saving after all the borrowing in the Pandemic so government job losses were huge and its unable to support the local economy. Huge amounts of people are moving to Australia its all a bit depressing.

I'm guessing you are in the North Island? You need to join the growing throngs apparently moving down south (oh, no, on second thoughts don't!!!).

Crikeyalmighty · 14/06/2025 00:09

@Liss19 because it’s the only place round there with a Reform MP!! Bit of a give away - I’m accurate though aren’t I - full of blokes with a huge chip on their shoulder and their gangsters molls who go along with their ignorant racist shit as they need 2 incomes to get by . Jealous as hell of anyone doing ok - it was never like this when I was a teen - problem is all the mines closed and with them went the quite well paying working class jobs and it all became a bit dog eat dog - I’m a kings mill born girl and my 2 oldest sons were born there ( in their 40s now)

MrTumbleweed · 13/06/2025 23:03

smallglassbottle · 13/06/2025 22:22

I don't know, it just feels very off. It's simply not normal for successive governments to run a country into the ground as much as this. Take the money laundering places. Everyone knows about them yet councils do absolutely nothing. It's bizarre.

I also believe that hostile countries are sponsoring people to come across here on the boats. Russia? China? Who knows? Deliberately undermining the country and costing us millions though. Who might benefit from that?

So you think every single high-ranking politician and MP in four political parties over multiple decades are all party to a secret plan to run the country into the ground while also partnering with other countries to find fake asylum seekers to take perilous boat trips?

Also, councils don’t investigate and prosecute crime.

MasterBeth · 13/06/2025 22:39

Papyrophile · 13/06/2025 22:07

@MasterBeth do please look at a map! There are thousands of towns with rivers running through them, and many end up at the coast or on an estuary.

Er, yes. That was exactly my point.

Tourmalines · 13/06/2025 22:27

WitchesofPainswick · 12/06/2025 14:54

What is it with all the hair salons and nail bars? It does baffle me. We have about ten nail bars in the high street.

Just a cover up for money laundering.

Liss19 · 13/06/2025 22:24

@Crikeyalmighty omg how did you know!?!? Yeah good old S in A 🙈

JustSawJohnny · 13/06/2025 22:24

PiggyPigalle · 13/06/2025 02:17

Perhaps you could use a summary site, rather than one in which you have to open multiple links.

Farage's voting records across the last 5 years have been disgusting.

It's not a recent development.

smallglassbottle · 13/06/2025 22:22

MrTumbleweed · 13/06/2025 18:38

Like what?

I don't know, it just feels very off. It's simply not normal for successive governments to run a country into the ground as much as this. Take the money laundering places. Everyone knows about them yet councils do absolutely nothing. It's bizarre.

I also believe that hostile countries are sponsoring people to come across here on the boats. Russia? China? Who knows? Deliberately undermining the country and costing us millions though. Who might benefit from that?

justasking111 · 13/06/2025 22:22

Try student Room website. You get lots of information from the students. You can also search for past threads.

"The Student Room" www.thestudentroom.co.uk?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22536509681&gbraid=0AAAAADCSka6X-0uNKc-30K-MHGtDEdr41&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmK_CBhCEARIsAMKwcD7u9mZ_zLqQN2i_dUsJRAnH-S34dR-FTInwbs6y5SE2INUEJry6kE4aAuOUEALw_wcB

MasterBeth · 13/06/2025 22:13

justasking111 · 13/06/2025 17:59

I suggest you start reading the local papers and follow them on FB. Pay attention to the comments. My DIL was there 20 years ago

Please, please, please don't listen to the reactionary racist bilge spouted below the line on the Nottinghamshire Live website. I've lived in Nottingham for nearly 30 years, brought up kids here and still love living here.

The city centre has certainly changed recently - less retail, more restaurants - but it's a great place to be as a student.

Papyrophile · 13/06/2025 22:07

@MasterBeth do please look at a map! There are thousands of towns with rivers running through them, and many end up at the coast or on an estuary.

MasterBeth · 13/06/2025 22:03

OhPatti · 12/06/2025 14:04

Well, OP mentions river walks so this isn’t a seaside town she’s talking about…

How do you think the rivers get to the sea?

Papyrophile · 13/06/2025 22:02

Honestly, I would (and could) emigrate. Nearly 70 and good at languages but DH's very significant health concerns make it impossible. I am quick with romance languages but trying to translate 20 years of cardiac history and medical subtlety is way beyond what I want.

suburburban · 13/06/2025 22:01

What is making it worse is the never ending arrival of extra people.

it is unsustainable

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