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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be frustrated by the way some men throw around “no homo” and similar phrases?

61 replies

WarmGreyCritic · 12/06/2025 13:44

I know I’m generalising here but one of my biggest frustrations with certain male spaces is the internalised homophobia that’s definitely rooted in misogyny. Anything that falls outside of a rigid, heteronormative framework gets labelled as ‘gay’ and you hear phrases like “no homo” constantly. It’s like some men are so afraid of being perceived as anything other than hyper-masculine that they can’t even express basic emotions without a disclaimer. AIBU to find this exhausting?

OP posts:
Original poster
WarmGreyCritic · 12/06/2025 13:57

OchonAgusOchonOh · 12/06/2025 13:51

I've never heard the phrase "no homo" and none of the men I know would ever use gay in an insulting way.

Maybe you should change who you hang out with?

That’s great to hear and honestly I wish that was more common. I’m not saying all men or all environments are like this but it definitely still happens. I’ve heard it in gyms, group chats, even workplaces. It’s not always aggressive either, sometimes it’s subtle or said as a ‘joke’ but the impact is the same. Glad your circle is respectful but I think the wider culture still has work to do.

OP posts:
MyUmberSeal · 12/06/2025 13:57

I must have have been living under a rock because I’ve never heard the phrase ‘no homo’ in my life. Every day is a school day though.

teksquad · 12/06/2025 13:54

Ive never heard either of these and regularly work at an all boys school. None of the men or boys I know care if someone is gay. What they do care about is anyone suggesting that only being attracted to a particular sex is in any way wrong, homophobic, heteronormative or transphobic. The single ones get pissed off with people lying about their sex on dating apps.

Snorlaxo · 12/06/2025 13:54

I’ve never heard that phrase.

Where do you meet these “men”? How old are they ?

toomuchfaff · 12/06/2025 13:53

Sounds like youre hanging around with a bunch of Alpha's (sarcasm insult). You need to change your circles..

Chiseltip · 12/06/2025 13:53

WarmGreyCritic · 12/06/2025 13:44

I know I’m generalising here but one of my biggest frustrations with certain male spaces is the internalised homophobia that’s definitely rooted in misogyny. Anything that falls outside of a rigid, heteronormative framework gets labelled as ‘gay’ and you hear phrases like “no homo” constantly. It’s like some men are so afraid of being perceived as anything other than hyper-masculine that they can’t even express basic emotions without a disclaimer. AIBU to find this exhausting?

And on todays episode of things that definitely didn't happen . . .

pinkdelight · 12/06/2025 13:53

OchonAgusOchonOh · 12/06/2025 13:51

I've never heard the phrase "no homo" and none of the men I know would ever use gay in an insulting way.

Maybe you should change who you hang out with?

Same. Wherever these certain male spaces are, I'm glad not to frequent them.

NeelyOHara · 12/06/2025 13:52

I’ve never heard the expression ‘no homo’ and I’ve met some knuckle draggers in my time. Is it regional?

DiscoBob · 12/06/2025 13:51

I believed it was a tongue in cheek thing. Like 'of course there's nothing wrong with being gay, but society has taught us men to have an irrational fear of it, which is ridiculous. So it's mock 'fear' where there is none? Like I thought it was mocking homophobia?

I could be totally wrong and I've only really seen it said on shows or online rather than IRL. So I guess it depends on the person saying it? I guess it's about whether gay people would find it offensive. That's really the main issue.

Who do you know who says it, what are they like as a person?

Redpeach · 12/06/2025 13:51

I've never understood why males care so much, i couldn't give a fuck if someone thought i was gay

OchonAgusOchonOh · 12/06/2025 13:51

I've never heard the phrase "no homo" and none of the men I know would ever use gay in an insulting way.

Maybe you should change who you hang out with?