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Original poster

15 months olds behaviour...help

58 replies

HowManyDucks · 12/06/2025 12:03

15 months old has started testing boundaries. I know it's a normal part of development and they aren't being naughty per se, but at the same time I'm not sure the best approach to deal with it.

She's just turned 15 months. Very happy and curious also very headstrong and independent. Quite an early developer, confident walker by 9 months and using three words together to make herself understood. I only say this because when she ignores me I can be confident she hears and understands but is either choosing not to or just blanking me out because she's busy doing her own thing.

Generally she is really good. Follows instructions very well but she can really be a handful. I find when she masters a new skill her behaviour or rather listening gets worse for a week or two after.

Currently, she is using the word "no" a lot.
"Let's put our shoes" ..."NO no no! Wellies" was this morning. At the moment I try and pick the battles.

She's getting frustrated when she can't do something straight away. And can get quite whiney (this is new, the last couple of days)

Also she has started holding on to my leg when I'm cooking and putting all her body weight on it so that if I move shed faceplant the floor. It's hard when cooking because obviously it's hot in the kitchen. She knows shes not allowed on the kitchen when I'm cooking, this is definitely boundary testing.

She is particularly challenging at baby groups where she seems to gain selective hearing and just does her own thing. People comment eg. Today someone said "she's a real character" before she'd even got out of the pushchair...

I know this is all normal behaviour but I honestly don't know how to react sometimes. When I see other babies her age sitting on their parents laps and singing the songs I wonder why my kid is the one I the middle doing gymnastics and being vocal!

Any tips for a first time mum fast approaching the toddler years??? Thanks

OP posts:
Blablibladirladada · 12/06/2025 18:03

Beamur · 12/06/2025 14:59

Rephrase the questions - give alternatives and go with the flow if it's of no real consequences. DD had some absolutely favoured UGG boots and wore them winter and summer until they were too small. If she wants to do something, try and find ways she can. Accept a bit of mess along the way.
If she won't wear a coat for example, don't insist, just take it with you. Offer it again later if she seems cold. In the kitchen - do you have room for a highchair? Pop her in that with some toys or bits from the kitchen to amuse her. She wants to see what you are doing and to learn and be involved.

😂😂😂
mine did that too. Nursery even said something about her always in her wellies and I was like…so embarassed!!!! She had much more shoes…just doesn’t want them.

In the end, we bought matching shoes. That did the trick…

Blablibladirladada · 12/06/2025 18:01

Choices are key for headstrong babies/toddler/children/teenagers…

Give two choices you are ok with and let her pick. Ohhhh the bliss ;)

hydriotaphia · 12/06/2025 15:04

Honestly this is just what toddlers are like. I would try to make sure your expectations are not too high and you are not characterising behaviour as naughty just because she is an advanced talker. It is 100% normal for babies her age to say no, be clingy, do their own thing at baby groups.

Beamur · 12/06/2025 14:59

Rephrase the questions - give alternatives and go with the flow if it's of no real consequences. DD had some absolutely favoured UGG boots and wore them winter and summer until they were too small. If she wants to do something, try and find ways she can. Accept a bit of mess along the way.
If she won't wear a coat for example, don't insist, just take it with you. Offer it again later if she seems cold. In the kitchen - do you have room for a highchair? Pop her in that with some toys or bits from the kitchen to amuse her. She wants to see what you are doing and to learn and be involved.

WhiteCloudd · 12/06/2025 14:47

Mines only a few months the older but I remember the 15month old pulling on your legs phase and I beyond hated it. Happy to report it didn’t last forever.

Lollypopbeach · 12/06/2025 13:41

You just described mine and all my friends toddlers. I personally think it’s normal. You know that yourself too, don’t let others make you feel she’s different.

My DS can sit for about 30 seconds before getting up and doing something else

I agree with the comment above. I try and say “jacket or shoes first” to make him feel in control a bit as he is mr independent but also getting done what needs to be done before leaving the house.

OneNewLeader · 12/06/2025 13:34

My daughter was that child. I’d try and give her options, that reduced the possibility of no. Wellies or trainers etc. I’d also decide what ditches I was prepared to die in.

She’s absolutely delightful now.

You’ll find a way.

Springadorable · 12/06/2025 13:29

Reduce the opportunity for no to be an answer. Don't say "shall we get our coats", say "it's raining, do you want to put on shoes first or coat first?". If she wants to wear wellies I wouldn't mind, if it was shoes when wellies would be better I'd explain simply why (there are lots of puddles. If you wear shoes you can't splash. With wellies you can splash!). If she still insists on shoes then fine, but don't let her splash. And next time it happens, remind her of what happened last time. People will tell you she's too young to remember and understand this sort of thing, but both of mine understood perfectly well and it sounds like she can too.

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