If you have young adults living at home, what does their rent cover?

I'm honestly surprised at those whose adult children pay nothing. It's not even the point, to me, if you can afford to cover them without contributing. Young adults need to learn how to budget for their expenses and have a view of how much it costs for bills etc. My ds earns 23k and pays £300 pm. That's a contribution to groceries, we take turns cooking and he takes lunch to work, if he is out or fancies something else he buys and cooks his own food. He also runs his own car and pays for petrol, pays for his phone and his own subscriptions.

With that many people, OP, I would think seriously about who is cooking and when. Your dd is effectively bringing her family of 4. It may be easier for her to do her own food shop and cooking.

@MumbleBumbleAppleCrumble That's what my mum has always said...even when I was still with my ex and was trying to leave, she always said "This is, and always will be, your home and I'll always be here". My brother moved out about 9 years ago and still says that when he comes to visit, he's coming "home" for the weekend. My mum always goes all out and indulges him when he comes to visit as well...she really is a "mama bear"!

I've been living with my mum for about 2.5 years after leaving my abusive ex (DD, now 3 also with me half the week). I'm 36, work full time and she's never charged me rent. Wants me to be able to save for a deposit to buy my first house (which I will be doing within the next year or so...hopefully!)

I assume you mean for long term living or do your children’s partners have to find a Travel Lodge when they visit for the weekend?

Your rent is far too low for your 'all inclusive' establishment! I understand that you don't want to fleece them, it sounds as if you don't need the money, but if they are working they should be paying a reasonable amount. Do a bit of research and find out how much people pay for a room in a shared house, you will be surprised. Your children will think nothing of spending their weekly rent (less than £50) on an evening out with their friends. I hope they are being respectful and doing their own washing and ironing, keeping their rooms and bathrooms clean, and also doing some chores around the home. If they're not saying to you 'what can I do to help?' then they are not good tenants..

I’ve always thought that the idea of charging children (even grown ups) for ‘rent’ is odd. But then I grew up with the this is your home whenever you need it idea and ‘rent’ sounds like something you charge a tenant or flat mate or lodger, and generally is put in place to make some sort of money for profit and to help cover a mortgage.

Bills and food, sure if you want to, that’s entirely reasonable. Though I would hope that with food they are either managing that themselves or you’re all splitting costs and duties!

That said you too sound very accommodating.

No idea on what to charge them. What is the purpose of it? Presumably to cover some costs for electric and water etc? Or is this a ‘they don’t have to pay rent elsewhere so it can go towards my mortgage’ sort of thing? Personally, I’d let them save on rent costs so they have something to put towards their own future houses as I’d still be paying the same mortgage costs if the house were full or empty. Split bills etc between however many living in the house?

My two adult children live with me. One is a full time student - not charged. One works full time. I charge market rate rent for the worker but she is aware I am saving this for her for future use to buy her own place. It is more enforced saving and getting her used to not having that money in her pocket than actual 'rent'. In both cases, all the normal stuff in the house - soap, toilet paper, food stuffs... are available for everyone. I even buy food they want if they add it to the shopping list. They will also ask if I need anything if they go shopping. They also shop and buy their own food for ingredients for specific meals or treats and snacks. We have a special reserved section in the fridge and the kitchen cupboard for items not for sharing - mine or theirs.

DS24 pays £200/month
DD22 pays £150/month
Both save between 500-700/month. I buy all everyday food, toiletries etc. they buy anything extra/luxury stuff. They fund their own cars, insurance, phones etc.

My DD(29) lives at home. She is in full time employment & pays €100 per week which covers rent & all household bills. She buys her own groceries & covers all expenses for her pet. Her friend (also 29) lives here too & pays €100 per week on the same basis (was originally a temporary arrangement, but she has found it impossible to find affordable accommodation in our city). The going rate in our suburban area for a room in a shared house is €800 pcm plus bills.

I admire your matriarchal spirit.

My DD boomeranged back home following a relationship breakdown during Covid. She's still here because she also has an arrangement with work where she can WFH nationally / internationally while she goes travelling for 2 - 3 months at a time. Plus, a couple of nights a week she stays at her boyfriend's (different guy to the ex).

She gives me £300 per month for food and bills (although obviously she's not here quite a lot of the time). She also buys loads of her own food. To be fair, she does have a decent job and she works hard when she's not on her travels. The logic behind her staying at home is a) we have the space; and b) we live in a high rent area and her quality of life would take a massive hit if she were to privately rent a place she'd actually only be living / sleeping in 30% of the time.

I would say that's her problem to solve but I am mean like that!

£200 per be person is pretty standard.

One ds pays £350 pcm and the other £400 pcm. That includes everything. It’s a large house and expensive to run.

if they weren’t still living at home we would have moved and downsized. So it is costing us more to have them still
living with us (obvs we don’t mind that).

We have never charged rent, our parents never charged us rent so it’s weird concept to us.

We have a 22 year old still at home. He’s got his first grad job and only earns 28k, he does manage to save a bit though.

My daughter and son in law lived with us for much of last year. They both have a completely different diet to my husband and I and so bought their own food and did their own cooking. We didn’t charge them any rent because we didn’t really incur much in the way of extra costs when they were here.

30 years ago I paid £40/ week. That covered household bills and some food, I bought a fair bit of my own. £200 feels pretty low on that basis, but I guess it depends on whether you need the money etc.

My eldest is living with me and working in hospitality. I don't charge rent, she's saving to learn to drive and I'm lucky enough to not need the money. She cooks, gardens, does laundry, cat sits, tidies so absolutely pulls her weight. She buys her own treats and luxuries (and regularly some for me too).

@Brunocatmon

why does your sons’s girlfriend live with you? Why can’t she live with her parents or her mates?

I take as much as it costs me.

the extra council tax I pay.

the extra groceries etc

a bit for water etc.

she actually chooses to pay me more as she is better off than me

That's up to him to figure out, surely? If his mum is paying for everything he wouldn't have an incentive to find work quickly. (Not saying this young man is lazy, but a lot are!)

My 22 and 25 year old sons pay £80 a week each. That includes everything ( they also pay their own phone contracts). If they have takeaways they cover that themselves.

£50 per week is extremely cheap. I would expect all of the working children and partners to pay the electricity bill on top of that as well as the difference in council tax. There's no way I'd have them costing me more money - the electricity bill will shoot up. Between them it's manageable.

I'd say that food would be pretty basic and absolutely any luxury food should be bought by them. It goes without saying none of my alcohol could be drunk by them!

I would also ask all of them to pay for one hour of a cleaner's time per week, to cover all shared downstairs rooms and bathrooms. They would have to clean their own bedrooms.

DD pays £300, this covers her phone contract (£30), food and vet payment for her cat (£50ish) and then food and bills. I buy shampoo and conditioner and tampons as well and if she wants fancy stuff she buys it.