To be raging at shortbread instead of pastries?

Many years ago I had to go to events for work as a rep. We were provided with sandwiches and crisps, as well as tea and coffee. Half way through the morning the area manager arrived "to see how it was going", stayed for a few minutes and left - taking most of the food with him. Second day we hid the crisps, but he came in and helped himself to sandwiches again. The third day we ate the lot for breakfast before he could get there!

I went to a conference once where there were mini cheddars at the evening reception. I was delighted.

To prepare academics for this delight, you need to fly them (economy obv) across many time zones and have the Key Note speaker present at 10pm local time. Making the room warm and dark is a bonus.

Any conference/team building/other pointless management exercise, has
a) assortment of pastries (croissant, danish, pain au chocolate, etc..,) for breakfast - coffee/tea/pointless fruit alternatives

b)decent biscuits at break time

c)a selection of rubbish sandwiches and things for lunch

d)decent biscuits at break time

e)beer/wine o'clock

repeat for how many days it goes on for.

Add in the usual failure of an av/it issue, someone forgetting their medication and a rearrangement of the order of speakers and you've successfully completed your course!

There used to be levels of break time refreshments.

Top tier was little pastries
Middle tier was Clubs, Wagon Wheels (boggle) and Penguins
Bottom tier was a tin of Family Circle biscuits

I am afraid OP, you are not as important as you think you are.

The middle tier was always a laugh. Delegates from overseas would marvel at our British biscuits, and we'd be like "errrm, I haven't seen a Wagon Wheel since the early 90s"

Someone has forgotten to take them out of the freezer.

You'll probs get them for lunch, with tiny ham or cheese sandwiches sprinkled with a few stale crisps.

Commiserations OP.

BTW, my favourite Danish is a maple and pecan plait. 😋

That accurately describes a significant number of academic conferences I’ve attended.

ETA And the fights are legendary.

TRIGGER WARNING

I went to a network meeting where they promised bacon butties in the morning and what they actually served was bacon on ciabatta (What the fuck?) with no brown sauce. None. Nada.
Why do bad things happen to good people? They can shove it of they think I’m going there again.

This doesn’t sound like a conference, it sounds like some kind of messed up social experiment! Starve people and put them together in a room all day. When do the fist fights start? 😂

Conference organisers were obviously psychopaths.

Yes, if breakfast is provided I want savoury. Pastries are a thinly disguised cake, only suitable as a breakfast pudding after I've eaten a proper breakfast.

Also I prefer shortbread to pastries but the two are not interchangeable.

Everything about this thread is upsetting me. I might have to take a break from Mumsnet and do some actual work (no snacks provided).

Let’s hope they don’t fuck up the lunch!

Hope you have access to a good selection of all day sweets ( not just mint imperials!)

Totally with you OP.

Ahhhh OP I feel your pain!

Im often at such conferences but as an exhibitor - at a recent one they provided food for exhibitors which was awful then at a slightly later time food for the delegates that was absolutely amazing! Bear in mind we pay £1000s to exhibit.

Dont get me started on the time we were provided with a bagged lunch when delegates were provided with a hot food buffet!! We didn’t rebook to exhibit that this one purely based on the food situation!

I remember going to a work conference at a very nice hotel in Wales so had high hopes for the food. It started at 10.30 and ended at 3pm. The hire car we were provided with was shite and on arrival at the conference, we were given a rather dry Welsh cake and a cup of tea/coffee. That was it for the entire day apart from plastic cups of water on a table at the back of the room. There weren’t even enough seats so some of us had to stand for the whole event.

The local McDonald’s was absolutely packed when we all left.

I love shortbread, where is this?

Everything is cheaped out shit these days

No you pay with your time and effort to listen to the bolllocks that’s being spouted.

but it’s a saying it’s not literal.

A housing conference I go to now serves super healthy food all day. Very limited choice and very little sugar. Crazy times.

I agree, shortbread is not a substitute for pastries and is not even a breakfast item.

also it’s disgusting but that’s an aside

Terrible! In what world is shortbread a suitable alternative for pastries?!
I would probably manage to force down some shortbread with a cup of coffee though

oh Yes an early start the venue provides breakfast pastries. What kind of savage has biscuits for breakfast. You are right op, thin end of the wedge.

Oh gods, yes, the margarine based abominations that do not deserve the name 'shortbread'! They disappoint both the mouth and the senses. I've been fooled before by 'shortcake' (which is, dear reader, neither 'short' nor 'cake'). Not even worth the tea you dunk them in.

Surely that's Rich Tea?

Remember this on your feedback form! 0 all the way!

Start your talk with "And where were the pastries" ...

And then carry on.