To think about evening things out between the kids

I would even it out too - depending on the amount. You're right it's none of our business what happened etc but are we talking about life changing some of money (can potentially be mortgage free as a young adult etc) or an amount that might pay for uni etc? If the latter, top up the younger ones as much as possible so it's evened by the time they're older?

Is there any chance your son will be affected by what happened in the future? I’m thinking of my brother. He experienced something incredibly traumatic when he was at primary school, had counselling etc, and all seemed fine. When he was late teens/very early twenties he started having flashbacks and his mental health really suffered. Getting help the second time was incredibly difficult, and took a long time (he didn’t relieve compensation, and was largely at the mercy of nhs waiting lists)

If your son was to have further complications in the future, would you be able to support him financially to get the help he needed? Or if he was to need time off work. My brother ended up on SSP for the better part of a year. Fortunately he was living with mam at the time anyway, but it would have been far more difficult had he left home.

I would even it out. It will cause ill feeling. Life is very expensive for young people starting out, and it sounds like eldest could have substantially more than youngest. The youngest will feel that keenly.

if one had an inheritance or won the lottery or just had a better paid job. I can’t fix that. So if i wouldn’t try to even out a windfall, why would i try and even out a compensation payout

I think you're talking about very different things here though. I also think there's a very clear distinction between 'child' and 'adult'.

Once they're both adults - if one has a huge bonus, if their spouse has a large inheritance they share, if they have a lottery win - would you try and even it out? Of course not. As adults, that's just life.

As a child though...personally I think that as far as possible we be trying to get them to adulthood with as equal a start as possible, where possible. They'd not be doing the lottery anyway...but if great Aunt Mabel left £10k to one dc and £0 to the other as a child then YES I would 'even it out'. Hopefully through the executor but if not then I'd save the equivalent for the other dc.

As long as the compensation wasn't intended to cover life long therapy or physio or reduced earning capacity or whatever - as long as dc1 was COMPLETELY recovered - then yes, I'd funnel all our savings until dc2 had the same. So that they went into the adult world with equal starts financially wise.

Two of my DC have better paying jobs the the third. The third got good A levels but refused university. His choice, but the consequence is he now earns significantly less than siblings. I don't think he cares. He is happy to clock off each evening and not bri g marking or work home with him. He says he doesn't have any stress at work. His siblings do to an extent.

Did your other child suffer as a result of their sibling's injury? Was family life difficult for them at the time?

Can you save into one pot for your children together and then wait until they are adults to decide how much to give each of them?

If both boys were 18 and one had a car accident and got a pay out for damages , would you look to give the other the same?

you can’t spend your life trying to even financial matters for them. It’s life, and one of your sons was involved in a serious accident, so he gets the pay out, that’s it. They have to learn life is not always equal. One might get a better paying job, or a prettier girlfriend, where does it end.

One of my DC got some compensation for an illness caused by a farm (Ecoli) and the other got a small amount as he wasn’t as unwell. I haven’t balanced it out no, but it’s not a life changing sum and both kids won’t need to pay for uni as their dad is paying.

I don’t really think it can be described as a ‘windfall’ when the reason they got it was that they went through a serious injury/trauma to get it. It’s exactly what it says… compensation for what he went through. His brother very luckily didn’t have to go through the same trauma.

Try and top up the younger one a bit but do need to make things even

I think you should start putting money aside. Then when your 7 year old is 18, you can decide if it's necessary. Things could change between now and then.

I think I’d try to even it up a bit, but it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You could pay more into your other DCs savings and reduce the savings amount to DC with payout instead of stoping it altogether. That way it would reduce the gap between the two but you don’t stop your saving for DS.

It’s not a moral dilemma at all. It’s your son’s money that compensates him for an injury. The other one didn’t suffer an injury. That’s life. Their paths will diverge.

That is a moral dilemma. Was originally thinking to even up, but now after reading the thread, I believe that would be unfair, and harder to justify why the younger also got “compensation” for his brother’s ordeal. Is it a hugely differing sum - how much could he have got if he’s made a full - physical at least - recovery?

Your 9 year old got the money for a reason… the injury he suffered. I don’t think you should even it up.

I agree. Your elder son must have had a very unpleasant and painful 4 months. He deserves his compensation for the discomfort your younger DS never had to go through that so he doesn't need compensation. As for poster who suggested splitting compensation you can't because it's held on court account until you elder son is 18 then passes straight to him. A cheque will be issued in his name and he'll need to put it in his own bank account. This happened to my DS after being in a car accident. I saw the suffering he went through and he still can't run like he used to before his accident even many years later.

Agree

Also - Your kids will have various bits of bad luck and good luck over the years, are you always going to step in and even things up? If not then why do it now?

He did a 9 year old get a big payout for an accident he has completed recovered from in less than a year?