DH not backing me over FIL argument(s)

They are allowed to be annoyed and I am allowed to call out their misogyny.

I’m of the generation of people who would speak like this and l think his comments are unacceptable.

Comes across as xenophobic and dehumanising.

How is his comment about increased channel crossings in good weather ill-educated? By the way, I am sure Nigel Farage knows that word is hyphenated!

I voted Yanbu because I agree we don’t want children to hear these comments.

But that’s because I agree with you. However many people do have these opinions and will speak in front of their own children about them. I think what we need to do is arm our young people with better skills and understanding and to be able to challenge these opinions themselves if they don’t agree.

But that’s why Lineker and Shearer are good in this role. They’ve been there. Having said that I listened to the Sinner/Alcaraz match on Sunday and Annabel Croft gave an excellent summary. The thing is it’s meant to be entertainment so if people are irritated they’re allowed to be.

So? Plenty of sports presenters comment on sports they have not played. Why does it become annoying when it’s women commenting on men’s football?

I wouldn't be able to stop myself from challenging him myself.

Your husband's response to a situation in which you told FIL to stop spouting racist or misogynistic rubbish would be very illustrative in the event.

Alternatively, I would speak to my children and say something along the lines of " Grandad is being nasty and silly again so let's go somewhere else now ". A different room, the garden, local park, anywhere. Vote with your feet and leave your DH to entertain his dad on his own.

They’ve never played men’s football. Irritating as he was Lineker was an excellent footballer. I’m not irritated by Cates or Logan though because they are good presenters. There are some female football presenters who are cringeworthy. This is especially true on Scottish football programmes.

1 and 2 are both untrue.

Why is it irritating to have a female presenter for men’s sports?

Your ignorance is showing. Immigrants / refugees aren’r just given free housing. Maybe watch less GB News.

More likely you know jack shit about football so couldn’t understand what the presenters were saying.

But don’t get so would up though.

Bollocks

I've watched F1 from being a tot eitter at home or at races.

All of the women from Louise Goodman through to Bernie have contributed as well as the men, its been a pleasure to watch the likes of Susie Wolff and Lee Mckenzie over the years.

Some of the males were awful to begin with. Legend Damon Hill took a while to warm up as I recall, but then so did Danica. They're individuals, they all have different skills and attributes.

It's sad to see such sexist remarks in this day and age. Do you say the same about black people? That they can't possibly be as good at presenting because they're not white men? Or is it just women you punch down on?

I am mixed race, FIL is now dead and was a bit like yours. DH is a gentle soul and his Father was a bully but he did speak to his Father about his use of racist words like not using the word for a corner shop that is racist. I had said he would never see our children if he spoke like that.

Ok so assuming he isn’t just doing it to get a reaction, you can ignore it, if your kids say anything /repeat it then you tell them why it is inappropriate/wrong etc. it gets easier. Now my two are teens they challenge grandparents themselves or just roll their eyes. I will still challenge if something is really out of order but not in an aggressive way

An AC of mine had a FIL like this. They always talked with their children after he had gone and explained how unacceptable it is.

Oh for goodness sake. I never, ever watch sport and even I understand the offside rule.

i was in a similar situation - my fil always said these vaguely racist things but when I had my daughter it became impossible to ignore. I had a hard line - told him he was not allowed to say this nonsense in front of her, reminded him every time and then took her out of the room. He stopped.

you are both responsible for protecting your children - of course it would be great if your husband took this on but if he won’t you’ll have to do it.

First one is correct.

second one - think bbc did employ female presenter for football who knew lack shit about rules. Same happened with F1.

third - stupid comment.

dont get so wound up though…

I would call him out, every single time. “Christ Bob, are you channelling Nigel Farage/Andrew Tate today? You do realise you sound like an ill educated moron?”

@BookArt55 and others who have said those sort of comments are similar to swearing in front of children make a good point. If he can stop himself from swearing around them he can stop the other rubbish that comes out of his mouth. Not sure why your husband can’t see that.

Even if you tell your children that grandad shouldn’t say those things, they probably will repeat them, partly because they see him being naughty and getting away with it. Maybe say, oh dear grandad has said bad things again so he will have to go home. And send him home every time.

He sounds awful. I'm guessing your OH doesn't challenge him, as he is at the top of FIL's approval tree, being male and like FIL.

Does he want the whole of the UK and his TV screens to populated by carbon copies of himself? He sounds really dim.

I disagree with your DH that FIL is incapable of changing the way he talks. My Gran, who died a few years ago aged 100 would sometimes express views that were racist or homophobic. When my siblings and I became teenagers we would challenge her about it and although I am sure that not all of her views changed she did watch what she said a lot more. As the years went if she started saying something inappropriate we would just say her name and show by our expressions that we were not happy - she would either stop or ask why we felt it was wrong. We had a very close loving relationship throughout.

I think it does depend a lot on your DC's ages - I can understand why you would not want younger kids exposed to that and would reduce contact if FIL is not willing to try to change. If they're older then I would get them involved in challenging his views.

The second comments is not opinion. The replacements are Kelly Cates and Gabby Logan who are extremely experienced football presenters who know the offside rule perfectly given they will have debated it with the ex pros countless times previously. As the OPs father in law knows already of course.

Take your kids and go out when your DH invites his dad round. Don't cook any meals for him and if you are in the room when he says those things, tell him that he is being racist and misogynistic and he won't be welcome in your home if he doesn't stop.

You may not be able to change his bigoted views but he can certainly control what he says in your home and keep his thoughts to himself.

Why is your DH so reluctant to speak to his dad? Does he secretly agree with his views or is he scared of his dad?