To think Mumsnet is more vitriolic than it used to be?

Do you seriously not get it !!!
You go completely off point aswel !!!
The thread here is about whether people think mn is too vitriolic now & it is ..
I was giving an example of a thread I was on , about a woman asking for recipe ideas, & everyone just went off on one about her husband & cooking !!!!
Oh , & I cook dinner for my kids every evening because I want to do it !!!!
My kids can cook & do cook , but I like to cook dinner in the evening ..
Does that sit okay with you ???

I didn’t comment on the thread but agreed that op should not be doing all of the cooking. Op wasn’t exactly overjoyed with her dh critiquing her suppers!
Your dc should be cooking, trying new recipes themselves too. Mine started at 5yr so by the time they were 14/15 they could cook most things. I like MN because it is against the subservience and conditioning of women, and your example is precisely why it’s important!

After a while you know which threads will kick off. Parent and child parking is a definite favourite 🍿thread of mine.

Yes very true. SEN mums have bigger shit to work about than Daily Mail problems! There are some real heroes on those boards that have helped me, it's just a shame that people are so horrid elsewhere towards disabled children. Really nasty stuff about parenting or the children's personality. Everything is nurture and there is no such thing as genetic differences or brains developing differently because of it. A real lack of understanding as to how poorly trained teachers are and how the system is designed to give schools and families the least input they can get away with at the detriment to everyone.

It has given me quite a thick skin, but I find in real life people are much more kinder and understanding. It has just made me more proud of my family and what we have been through. AIBU weirdos have helped me in a way as I no longer give a shit.

I find it quite funny now. If you look at it objectively the most opinionated, bigoted people are just making themselves look like hytwrical idiots. We are all allowed an opinion, but most people don't care about theirs as much as they care about mine. It is the people who have strong opinions about something they know nothing about that make me laugh (disability seems to get a lot of judgement from people who have no idea about it). Life is complicated, and if you have to reduce it down to a dualistic bad vs good debate then you are just showing yourself up to be a bit stupid.

That is if they are real people, which I very much doubt. There are some really suspect posts on here 🤖

I think AIBU is just a magnet for dickheads though. That's why I am here. 😀

This is absolutely true also of the SEN boards. Advice on there has been incredibly wise and helpful.

I agree that still lives on and I have had the same experience on the relationship board. That's the reason MN is the only online forum I contribute to - I have quit all other social media in the last few months (FB, Insta, Twitter/X, no longer go on reddit etc.) The only thing I still check out is MN and I have LinkedIn for business. That's it.

In the 20yrs I've been here, it's always been a Vipers nest. MNers pride themselves on brutal honesty but you visit a relationship thread where OP is being abused and you see the overwhelming support and love for a stranger is incredible.

My parenting journey has been improved by MN, from TTC to birth plans, anti natal and post groups. I'm FB and RL friends with MNers.

I'm a more tolerant person thanks to MN, I understand the silent struggle that many women are going through much more than I did. It's shocking how many are married to complete dickheads.

As with many other aspects of online communication, I think because people can hide behind anonymity it opens the gates for saying a lot of things they probably wouldn't say in real life. I try to be respectful in debates, try to take on board other opinions and learn from them, but some are intent on twisting every word. In recent days I've apparently been stalked on a couple of threads by someone who provides only one-sentence sarcastic responses. I try not to get sucked into reacting, but it's very hard not to.

Nastier on Facebook and Next Door in my experience. The level of rudeness and insult there wouldn't be tolerated here.

I've been on here since 2006. Bloody hell.

I agree with so many of these posts. MN has definitely deteriorated, but I think it reflects the general social deterioration in most areas of life. Everything is a fight club. People don't, or can't, read opening posts with comprehension, or they bring their own agenda to the thread, so they think they know what's being said.

The sanctimonious, withering contempt in some posts is awful. But I see this elsewhere. It's the DOGMATISM that concerns me. Everything is This v That - everyone has a stance and is convinced they're on the right side. I mean, things as trivial as whether you allow your pet cats to go outside or not!

When I click on a baity link in my MN emails (I have got to stop them coming) I rarely feel better for it. I think the way MN staff are promoting MN on other social media is terrible - trying to boost up controversial or fighty threads (often ones that have about five replies on), dropping clickbaity threads into other forums like FB.

MN has been such a force for good in my life. It's really sad to see how far below its original standards it's fallen. And yes, I miss the witty threads. Sometimes I go onto Classics to revisit favourites. It feels like that MN is gone forever now - if you try to be wry, or subtly witty on here now, 90% of time it goes over the heads of a lot of posters.

I've been here over 10 years and can't say I've noticed it get worse, it was always pretty bad. COVID times were probably peak madness.

woe betide you post on aibu and you’re not perfect in every way that you conduct your life!

I think there are also more trolls just totally on the wind up (whether starting threads or adding an argumentative and mean style to every thread they join)

Definitely been a change in the replies to the just asking for a bit of advice posts.

To take OPs white gloss paint for eg, you now have to write reams explaining why white, why gloss, why paint otherwise you'll get loads of 'but have you thought about dipping it in cow manure" answers that I just CBA to reply to.

I've been on MN for many years under various usernames. I've been mostly on the relationships and politics boards. The latter used to be full of very thoughtful, well-argued threads, even during Brexit, though of course things were polarised and could get a little heated. But at least there were back-and-forths with arguments laid out and responded to. I feel like there's much less willingness to engage and more accusations of posters 'shutting down debate' when simply presented with a counterargument. That's reflective of wider society and I find it very dispiriting personally. Also like a PP said, it becomes almost entirely about the assumptions that are made about the poster than about what the poster says. That can't lead anywhere good.

My kids often ask me can we change up dinners , it’s not a big deal !!!!
The OP asked for advice on recipes, that’s what she wanted , not whether people thought she does too much of the cooking in her house ..
Her husband worked long hard days she said, & she likes having dinner done when he gets in from work …You also have completely gone off point , turning it into something else , when advice that was asked , was any ideas for new recipes !!!!!!!

I have seen threads like these for years, but people have sunk lower and lower, and the judginess has risen and risen. I don’t get people saying’bin him’ or ‘time to let this friendship go’ when the op has barely said more than one line- is everyone perfect to everyone around them all the time? Do the people who say these things never get anything wrong? Also ‘does he have any redeeming qualities op?’ Well yeah, presumably- do you not have any bad ones?!

I miss giant kitchen appliances going missing. (Was it a fridge that disappeared?!)

I think people in general have got ruder and nastier. You can go back to covid and lockdowns to see when it really started changing. When you had the government pitting people against each other.

Very few people talk to you anymore, people just want to argue, moan and goad. Facebook these days is just a massive moan (parking, dog shit, teenagers).

This place is anonymous so it's easier for people to be rude and nasty.

I still love coming on here and also still google specifically for mumsnet threads. It’s been so useful in my 20 years of parenting

I don’t however join in any highly charged discussions - just don’t have the time for that.

My favourite thread is still one from years ago when a mum admitted to fancying Daddy Pig!🙃🤣

@funinthesun19all the above! And I’d totallt agree if it was a state run nursery! But having spent nearly £60k there I’m not happy! The changed app and were meant to send a special report to all parents with all images et. but a few of us never received it. It’s been seven weeks since I first raised the concern. It’s a big chain of nurseries and is nothing to do with the actual branch I use but their head office, which is shockingly run! Thanks so much for your sympathy xxxx

That’s awful 🙁 I would be so angry and upset about my child’s nursery photos being lost so you have my full sympathy. Did they manage to find/recover them?
Let me guess. The posters who were nasty said something along the lines of: “The nursery workers have enough work to do without making sure photos don’t go missing.” “Stop being precious.” “Don’t you have photos of your own of your child?” I bet I’m close 🙄.

Totally agree! Posted a thread about private nursery setting losing four years worth of photos of my child. Got made to feel the most horrendous human being for actually wanting photos of my child and for expecting a paid business to handle my child’s data properly!! In the end I asked admin to delete post.

I would love someone to do a documentary on Mumsnet and the people behind the screenames!

on the plus side, there have been some amazing people on the site - genuinely lovely, wonderful souls! I guess it’s a snapshot of the good, the bad and the ugly on here! Xxx

I think those posters had a point. Why was she lumbered doing all of the cooking in the first place? It’s not ‘perfectly normal’ for women to do all of the cooking in 2025.

It’s this kind of low level conditioning that is being robustly challenged on here. It’s certainly not a bad thing in my view! in my view this is one of the strengths and gifts of MN, educating women to challenge their conditioning and the roles automatically given to them. We don’t have to be ‘nice’ or ‘kind’ thanks.

I wouldn’t post anything! I’m at the point of being terrified of commenting … because someone will undoubtedly come along to say how very wrong I am …