Family feud

That’s a really good idea.

No, she doesn't 'need' to do anything.

Too many women are guilt tripped into subbing feckless brothers due to parental guilt.

Sell the house and let him make his own way in life.

Sorry you need to take your mother and brothers wishes and feelings into account.

😂 I was not fully awake

It's not, but it would be needed for the OP to make the decision about the mother's ongoing residence. Without it, the mother herself (if she is assessed as having capacity) or Social Services (if she is not) would have to make the decision, or the OP or another member of the family would need to apply for Deputyship to be able to make decisions on the mother's behalf.

The rules for councils are different to inheritance. They aren’t as fix and they can make reasonable assumptions as to what has gone on.

They will ask where mum is currently living, and they will ask for proof the the OP bought the house at market rate and where that money then went. They will ask how mum is finding the rent. They need to be able to comprehensively demonstrate that this isn’t just a wheeze.

@OneQuickPeachCat I agree with pp you need to check the legal position wrt the house.

Your DB is 59, have you looked at retirement properties? These are sometimes more reasonably priced, but beware of service charges etc. Funding the running costs and maintenance of a family home vs a retirement property may be considerable. DB is approaching pension age and his finances at 67+ maybe different.

Change can be scary, helping DB to move on is part of repaying him for all the time he has spent looking after your Mum.

I agree that you need to talk to a lawyer. He may well have tenants rights that mean you can't evict him. He isn't a lodger because you don't live there.

If the LA have reason to believe that the transfer to your name was done with the intention of avoiding care costs then there is no time limit how far back they can go.

You don't need the money OP
Let him stay

£2k per month rent for 30 years is £720k….£100k really isn’t going to last him a lifetime

Sounds like the house has been in OP’s name for a long time so this won’t apply.

Exactly, he should have been saving but didn’t.

I’m so tired of sisters being expected to subsidise brothers.

OP, sell the house, you don’t owe him anything.

The house is in OP’s name, why would an LPA be needed to sell it?

If he gets £100k even if he rents that money should last his life time surely? Rent for 30 years at 2k per month ( which is high) is 60k his expenses/bills can be covered from his wage and presumably pension later on.

Alternatively if he needs 150k to buy outright you could put 50k in (if you can afford to.) But do it legally so that upon sale of his house it goes back to you or your children (plus a third of any additional profit) so it’s an investment that helps your db out.

I do think your db is unreasonable he’s had time to save/pay off debt and prepare for this time but instead he’s assume you and your Dsis will forfeit your right to inheritance and subsidise him.

I think that the current setup has been mutually beneficial for both your brother and mother for 20 years. He hasn’t had to pay rent or a mortgage- yes, he pays household bills but presumably your mother also contributes to them? Most people can save something if they’re not making rent or mortgage payments so he’s probably got some savings-unless he’s spent everything he earns.

Anyway, if your mother really does need to go into residential care, I think the idea of him paying the extra £300 a month as rent makes sense. He can keep the house in order, but you’ll be responsible for household repairs as it belongs to you. Your mother may live for several more years if she’s physically well so this arrangement could work well.

Perhaps eventually he may move into an over-55’s flat if the house gets too much for him.

Sounds like it was years ago. There’s a time frame for this kind of thing, so it doesn’t sound like it’s a problem here.

Difficult one, as i’d imagine the last few years for you and your sister would have been a lot more difficult without him living there. Selling the house with minimal notice is a little unfair. I’d give a set period of time for him, maybe a year or two. Depending how short he is from purchasing a 1 bed flat, could you use your share to purchase it and charge him rent? Sounds like your sister isn’t keen to give him 25k, and that’s fair enough. Though she should consider how helpful it’s been having DB to assist with your mother. No matter what the reason he is living there, that’s been a great help to him. Having his mother go into a home and lose his home at the same time will be tough. Definitely worth seeking some advice.

Incredibly selfish. The obvious solution with agreement of all family members is for the Brother to pay the 300 pm in rent to help fund your mother's care (cpi linked say) and continue to pay the bills & upkeep for the house as he has been doing and to do so for as long as he wishes to live there himself.

And then if that's until his death that the house goes to his, your & your DS kids say at that time. Otherwise it's sold when he moves out and it's split 3 ways simple.

Smell the coffee OP. Your DB has been an unpaid for carer for your mother for many, many years now. I'm surprised the house is not in his name tbh. It's his residence, his home, where he lived with his mother who he looked after for several years into her dotage. You are morally and legally (I'm fairly certain) obliged here to see him fairly treated. For instance, I'm fairly certain he's entitled to continue to live in the house for starters.

OP you sound like a horrendously self centred person, who is way out of line on this. I hope your DB is treated fairly as this process unfolds, and he is protected from your awful selfishness. Good luck!

This is very selfish indeed.

You and your sister should both go and live with your Mother for a week each.

Your DB should go on holiday.

You will then understand what the man probably has been doing all these years for your Mother without saying a word about it.

He is working full time and being woken several times during the night and now is facing potential homelessness.

Have a heart.

Especially when you are technically defrauding the government having hidden your Mothers assets - Shame on you.

Surely your brother has a substantial amount in savings due to working 6 days a week and only paying bills.

The mortgage free house was transferred into your name solely for tax reasons. I think you personally may be liable to pay inheritance tax if you sell it?

Morally I think you and your other sister are treating your brother pretty shabbily. He has saved you all the expense of a having a night time carer for presumably years and given peace of mind as well as saved you from the alternative of taking turns spending the nights with your mother?

Of course this arrangement also suited him but as happens so often, these arrangements end up this way. You and your brother need to seek legal advice.

Gosh, I couldn't kick my 60 year old brother out. That's cruel. Imagine the upheaval at that time of your life.
I would let him stay but make sure house was passed on to grandchildren.

So? Provided he can pay enough rent to cover the mums care home top up fee what's the issue?

He's not going to be able to afford to keep up improvements on the house anyway is he? If he went into debt when he was paying a low rent then how is he going to afford once his mother is in a home?

I think he should move out sooner rather than later because nothing will actually change in the intervening years except he will become more dependent on you both financially. Have you looked at what the over 55 rental set up is like in your area?