Being labelled unreliable as a working mum

People will always find problems in solutions. Charity shop deliver as well. Also you could rent a van for like £50 quid. Or ask a friend to help you there are so many options but I suppose is easier to complain.

I didn't say 'everyone,' she had been labeled unreliable by one person and one person only, her line manager. She wrote the thread when she was confused by line managers label as no one else had any other issues.

Since the thread began there have been more conversations. These conversations confirmed OP's understanding that others were happy with her contributions including the CEO whose opinion is the one that ultimately matters and she quite rightly came back here to update on the NEW events to show all the comments about OP being a terrible employee were completely unjustified. And actually she had no reason to write the thread in the first place but she didn't know that at the time.

Just because the manager is unhappy does not mean they are correct. In fact the way they handled the situation is very poor form for a manager. Also it's quite clear the company promotes a flexible work approach if the manager can't cope with the company ethos that's on them.

As I've said before the company CEO clearly values OP as an employee hence their choice to accommodate her situation. It's a shame your employer didn't value you to the same extent but OP is entitled to use the flexibility her company offers her.

Well exactly. Like I said, if the OP is confident everyone's happy with the situation, there's no issue and no need for this thread...!

Like what, our fridge? Put the seats down in the car! We used a small folding garden table in our kitchen for ages. We used folding chairs instead of a sofa. The cot was free too - again, it fit in the car with the seats down. It wasn't the most fashionable of houses, but it did the job when he had small kids and no money!

Some people on the local free-giving Facebook page even offered to drop off for me, but I didn't have the need. I've dropped off stuff for other people before too (I gave a lady the cot and loads of other baby stuff when we'd finished using it, and offered to deliver as I know it's hard with a baby!).

Even though we hwve replaced a lot of our furniture now, we still use fb marketplace for aome things. Last week we even carried a free trampoline through quite a few streets to get it to the house!

Honestly, if you don't already use it, definitely worth a try! Got some beautiful sunbeds for our garden a few weeks ago, completely free, and they look amazing!

Here in uk they usually start from age 5. I have a 3 yr old currently that been told can't attend until 5 x

I think we are missing some vital information.
Eg what are you contracted working hours and what is the notm
at the company regarding working hours / times for meetings etc?
There is nothing wrong with being a working mum, but you need to arrange your hours so it works for you AND the company. If you are trying to cram a 40 hour week into school hours and trying to make up lost hours in the evening, I can understand why they find your slack (even though you are working your ass off, you’ll never be able to work your hours properly with that set up). If the company has important meetings from 4 to 5pm and you can’t be there because you have to pick up the kids, I can understand why they say you’re slack, because your needs and those of the company don’t align.
So I would advice you to take a good look at what the company expectations are and what contracted working hours and ask yourself if it’s realistic. If it’s not, you need to sit down and discuss how it can be made workable (and that might mean you arranging someone else to pick up your kids). If it is realistic, you need to sit down with your boss and discuss why they say you’re slack when you think you are doing what you agreed to do. Communication and reflection is key here.

This!!! 👏

Out of interest, how did you get various large free items from their respective places to your home?

And yet when OP asks her kind manager for specific feedback on what the problem is, line manager fails to supply the info 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes - I fully agree. When we moved into our home I got almost everything for free or for just a few quid on Facebook marketplace and local selling groups. I knew money was tight so EVERYTHING was second hand. That way I could prioritise spending money on childcare so I could keep working, rather than furnishing or on a fancy fridge-freezer etc.

If everyone is very happy with this situation then why is the OP claiming that she's being called 'unreliable' 🤦🏼‍♀️ In fact, if everyone's perfectly happy with the situation, there's no need for the OP to start this thread at all, is there? Odd...

Oh god it's hardly reinforcing patriarchal values to point out that you shouldn't be trying to claim you're at work (and taking money from an employer for it) while actually you're looking after your 2 year old instead 🤦🏼‍♀️ (sincerely, a staunch feminist).

If you have no idea why a man may be not paying child maintenance then I can only think you have been fortunate enough to not find out exactly how utterly useless the uk child maintenance service is (of havent had to try to get child support out of a man who has fucked if to another country)

Bd glad you are clueless.

This. I feel especially sorry for the poor little 2 year old.

Oh god... just because she has a 'regular routine' doesn't make her not 'unreliable' 😅🙈 Her 'regular routine' involves her trying to work while looking after her 2 year old all day every day for weeks at a time during school holidays!!

Op why did you start the thread?

We're you looking for a well done pat on the back?

We're you looking for posters to be honest and admit that trying to do two jobs at the same time is taking the piss?
Let's face it you'd go mental if you were paying a childminder and they were neglecting the children because they were also running a side hassle.
What you are doing isn't much different except it's your job and child.

Can you not see their is a huge difference between doing school pick-up and actually caring for a toddler for huge parts of the day? Esp during holidays.

Not being funny but why did you get into debt for furnishing? I would have scoured facebay, charities and the local community groups for cheap and free staff. There are so many perfectly good things people throw or get rid off in order to update. And the dad not paying, did you take him to court? You should, he should pay maintanance. Did you check the universal credit? I know there is 75% reductionnin child care costs for filly working parents, did you chack that? It seems to me you victimising yourself a lot whilst doing very litttle priactively to help your situation. You are also not listening to all posters who told you your situation is not feasible for long term. You need to be a bit more objective. I am sorry to say but you are NOT the only working parent just the only who can't find a way to make it work. Be rational, read the replies and start making a plan, starting with sitting down with your line manager and assure him that you are looking into resolving the situation. Stomping your feet and criyng poor me will not solve this, believe me!

If the manager is unhappy it is their responsibility to follow company procedure to deal with performance issues. The fact they didn't do this speaks volumes about their managerial competence and is simply another indicator that the manager could well be the problem.

Some of the replies here are pretty judgemental. You have a regular routine, so you're not unreliable, and you have a child, so there's a degree of flexibility which would be expected of any employer. Are you a member of a trades union? A union rep can be very helpful in clarifying rights and responsibilities for both sides, and help you fight your corner. Citizens Advice are also good on employment matters, but as someone else commented, it's shit. Good luck!

Or she can’t afford any more during term time bevause she knows she has to set aside money to pay during school holidays?

Yes, I've read the updates and the summary is that her line manager isn't happy. There's never been anything to "resolve" because the issue has only ever been that the line manager isn't happy. OP doesn't care, CEO doesn't care for now. That might change.

With all the updates from OP I don’t see the point of the thread. She fails to see that her manager is frustrated by her working from home with looking after a 2 year old. It’s not about being a working parent In a workplace where most employees are not parents, it’s about putting clear professional boundaries in place between work and looking after a child especially if you are lucky enough to work from home. You can’t do both particularly well at the same time and OP isn’t seeing this is unfair on her employer and child.

She hasn’t said for how many hours of her 40 hour working week.
Soubds like during term time her child is in nursery for 30 hours, and 15 of those are free. And she can’t afford any more…

15 hours a week is going to be tricky when she has to work 40 hours.

Yes, and my point is that they might eventually. Up to OP if she wants to risk it.

She’s already said that her child will be attending the preschool at their holiday club.