Being labelled unreliable as a working mum

it's not clear though if you are working less than your contracted hours.

If you are paid to work 9-5 but leave at 3 every day and don't return then it doesn't matter if you have completed all your work - you are not working your allotted hours.

As others have said who has your child when you've picked them up from school?

you say your work have been flexible - but something is causing them concern and you've not really said what that exactly is so no one can advise you properly

Yep - who is looking after the 2 year old once you have collected them?

OP is. She can’t afford more childcare outside of nursery fees. That’s the problem.

Who is looking after your children after you pick them up?

So genuinely there are some men and women bosses out there who pick on young mothers and assume basically that they are less productive. If this is the case, the easiest way round is to move jobs or change teams. As an employer I have been really happy to take on women who have moved because their currently employer would not allow them half an hour in the day for pick up or wanted an all staff meeting at 8.45/9.00.

Equally and particularly post lockdown I have had limited occasions where I see young mothers doing childcare and work at the same time- which you just cannot do, even if it is the 315-5.30 period. Sorry but you do need proper care in place for young children. Okay usually when they are 13/14 and WFH, otherwise not.

Well if that's the case then this employer would need to allow everyone to leave to do the school pick up otherwise it's unfair.

I wfh and I block my diary during school pick up, I also dont have lunch to accomodate this.
Have you discussed it as a formal arrangement with your manager that your lunch break is moved to this time?
I have had about 5 jobs in the last 5 years and ai have made this arrangement with all of them.
What have they said about the arrangement. You can formally request flexi hours to acxomodate this too so it is written in stone. Which, if they are being difficult, then it might be a good idea to discuss making it formal rather than just not being there during this time.
However, if toubare looking after a 2 year old every day from 3 and also workimg then I ca see why they might question your commitment, as its pretty much impossible to work with a 2 year old that needs attention.

Your posts indicate unreliability. You started saying you were picking a child up from
school. But they’re two, so they’re not at school.

And then if only you can do the pick up, who watches the child? Because someone who may or may not be with a toddler from 3pm onwards is unreliable.

If you literally take an hour at 3pm, then they’re wrong about you being unreliable - put it in your diary as your lunch hour, and be clear to everyone you take your break at 3-4, but you’re around work 100% attention on work for the rest of the day. It’s then hard to say how you would be unreliable in that scenario.

A pity party is not going to help you.
You need to think rationally about what the problem is from a work/company point of view and then make suggestions to remedy the issues. That may mean a role change or hours change.
If it’s not working for your employer, you either have to help to resolve things or change jobs.

Change employers.

that’s a poor and toxic culture you are in and not every workplace is like that.

my own certainly isn’t. Lots of working parents and carers and there’s no problem doing the school run.

we’d crackdown on your colleagues for treating you this way.

A 2 year old is very different to any school aged child

what are your working hours vs childcare hours?

Oh god here we go.

There is another thread going where OP is explaining childcare is now more expensive than her entire take home pay.

In my own children’s school, there is no available afterschool club! Well there is but they run a lottery scheme as so under staffed (Recruitment has failed ) and oversubscribed.

It is absolutely possible for this OP that there is no available childcare, or if there is, that OP, as a single parent, is not able to afford it.

OP - I hear you, it’s shit.

It is formally agreed that you can take an hour break then instead of your lunch break?

if so then just ignore! Block out your calendar from 2:30-3:30 and be available the rest of the time.

or are your school commitments more random than that / not actually authorised?

You said you were picking your child up from school but at 2 that is obviously not true. Are you keeping paid childcare hours to a minimum to save money and this is impacting on your availability at work?

what are your working hours? more info needed

If you work say 9-5 and pop out every day to pick your child up then that's not acceptable and you will be seen as unreliable. but then your manager should put a stop to it if they are not happy.

if your hours are 9-3, for example, and you leave at 3 to do pick up then these are your hours and you are not unreliable.

edit - sorry just read your OP (properly!) and see you pick your child up at lunch. what you do in your lunch break is your business - as long as you aren't late back or anything. who has your child after that? can they pick them up perhaps? though I'm confused f your child is 2 but at school

Op I remember telling a manager the only two days I couldn’t work late were Tuesday and Thursday because wouldn’t make the creche to collect. Inevitably I’d be asked on one or both of these days ONLY!! I’d try to be in earlier, I’d stay late where I could on other days, I’d still have people being cold to me because of those one or two days. You’ll get judged no matter what you do, just do your best and say ‘what can I do?’ about anything else x

ps years later I met my manager when he had had two children and he said ‘I don’t know how people do this, it’s so difficult’ and spilled a million of the same problems I’ve had. People just don’t know until they’re in that position

Had very similar experience in my last role. I was the only woman on the team.

Difference being for me that 2 male colleagues blocked out 3-4pm everyday for their school runs. I never did this as DC walked home.

I sometimes made a point of booking my 1:1’s with my manager at 3pm as to prove I’m there and present. And working.

I didn’t get a promotion because there were “concerns” about my parental responsibilities and me not being able to take on more work 🤣

I don’t work there anymore due to a restructure but it highlighted something I never knew was a problem before!

You have a right to submit a Flexible Work Request. It sounds like you might be able to justify a change of working hours, or flexi-time maybe.

What is the situation when you pick up the children and go back to your desk. What ages are your dc, who is providing the childcare at this time.

If you are working/ caring for children this is hugely frowned upon and is justifiably seen as unreliable

Then you change your work around the childcare you have. Surely your not trying to care for a two year old and work?

Who looks after child after you picked them up?

You don’t HAVE to do school runs. You could use childcare like everyone else!

maybe worth listening to the concerns of your manager and find a way to make your job work alongside childcare like most people have to!