Being labelled unreliable as a working mum

You need to look for a more flexible job or maybe agree to make up your hours after the child has gone to bed. You are not working your contracted hours at the moment. Whether you complete all tasks etc is unfortunately irrelevant. Look at benefits that may be available, it may be that you need to reduce hours and claim some UC etc.

YABU because you are clearly looking after your child while working, and that isn’t okay. No colleague would be happy with that.

Why are you doing school pick up if your child is aged 2 as you state? Very weird.

That’s the issue then, no one can work a job and look after a two year old at the same time.

Your employer pays you to be available for the hours set out in your contract. It's irrelevant whether you're getting your work done or not.

Decent employers will allow some flexibility for personal circumstances but it's unfair on your colleagues to just disappear for a chunk of every day.

I take it your child's dad isnt around?

Have these complaints been registered in performance review or is your manager just saying things? If the latter then try to ignore it.

Are you caring for a nursery age child during working hours? If so, that'll be why employer isn't happy

It's not clear what's happened, are you being put on a performance improvement plan or anything?

Does your contract allow you to parent while working?

We definitely wouldn’t be allowed to do school runs during work time unless it was an emergency and we are home based. Unless we made an arrangement to take our lunchbreak then and still do full hours.

I think you need to have an open and honest conversation with your manager:

Here are my objectives.... here is what I have achieved... I am meeting all of my goals.

Here are my agreed work hours - I do these hours between X and Y... I take my one hour break between A and B. Are you OK with that? Is HR OK with that?

Does my break between 5pm and 6pm impact on the business? Is this something that we can work around together?

I am reliable and committed to my job and to the business. If there are issues, I hope that we can work through them together.

I wonder what has been agreed by your manage and what has been said by her? You seem to imply that she has agreed that you will take your break at the time that you do, but also that you are not available for work at that time - try to get that cleared up.

I know that the reason you have to have your break at that time is because of your child, but try to frame it around your work, when you have this discussion... Objective, targets, priorities, time spent working....

(I do know how difficult it is.. I worked in a team where I was responsible for the biggest projects, the biggest customers, the largest budget area, I delivered everything ahead of time and under budget, all of my 'customers', internally and externally were happy with my work and my team shifted me sideways because "no one" wanted a part timer on their team - 'no one' was one person! I took an internal move and they loved me.... they were grateful for my work - I did work in the evenings and at weekends, occasionally, when required, but mostly I worked my hours alternating short and long days, 10-4 and 8-6 and Fridays off - but I did have a partner also working full time who did short days on the days that I was in the office before 8 and after 6.).

You can't expect your team to be happy with you being technically unavailable for several hours in the afternoons.

OP, public school exams are finishing soon. Why not hire a local teenager to mind your child for these hours in the afternoon while you finish work? It will be cheaper than nannies/more nursery hours. Ok it's a short term solution as they will be back in school and college in September but it buys you some grace time.

If your contract says that you can stop work to do the school run and then block out the time after that, then you’re not being unreliable. If you’re doing it unofficially then it’s likely your colleagues may be a bit put out by it.

Your post is a bit confusing and you haven't answered what your working hours should be.
If you are meant to be working til 5 but picking your child up at 3 for whatever reason, that is then 2 hours of work you are unable to do. Even if you get the job done, it sounds like you are unreliable as you cannot be contacted during this time or available meetings.

I think you need an honest chat with your line manager about what hours you are working and when and depending on the companies flexible working policy as long as you get the work done (perhaps when the child is in bed) it's not an issue, however if they say the core hours are til 5 then you will need to sort childcare.

@Positivegirl are you claiming anything towards childcare?
I used universal credit and I worked out with nursery it was actually cheaper to book the full 50 hour week than till 3/4 for example. UC covered the difference between the funded hours and what I had to pay.

I work 9-5. Others do 8-4 but core hours are covered.

As a manager I would struggle with a team member employed to work 9-5 but who was unavailable 2.45-5 each day- and if there’s a two year old around then you can’t be working (spoken with experience of lockdown with a three year old). I get being a single mum makes it v tough but I could have a whole team of wanting to do the same and we work in a role where customers expect the phone to be answered 9-5.

I think you need to look at a flexible working request and see what can be agreed.

If you're blocking out your calendar for a chunk of the afternoon to do childcare, then this is why you're being found unreliable. As hard as being a single parent is, you can't expect your employer to allow this.

You should ask to reduce your hours if you can't find childcare. Check what benefits you may be entitled to.

Honestly unless your children are older, you really can't look after them whilst working. It's not fair on your employer and they can discipline against this, but also it's not fair or safe for your children. They need to be in wrap around care if you're working.

My calendar is booked off

So your colleagues can't organise a meeting whilst you calendar is booked off- this will be 1 problem.

Do you also block out the afternoon whilst you are also minding your children?

If that's the case then that will be the issue. People can't expect to work, pick up and look after children at the same time and expect their employers and colleagues to be ok with it.

You and your manager need a clear agreement on what your working arrangements are.

You say your child is in childcare full time, but also that you do mid afternoon picks up. I suspect this mixed messages might be part of your issue.

Full time childcare for someone with a full time
job means that that child care covers more than 40 hours a week. It sounds like you’ve got a lot less than that.

If that’s the case, but you're describing it as full
time then you will come across as flakey. It would be clearer if you were more realistic in your description. Eg. Child goes to nursery for part of the working day, and you’ve got an agreement that you work flexibly for the rest.

Then your diary needs to accurately reflect your availability and work pattern.

Then you’re predictable and reliable. Maybe not as available as colleagues might like but everyone is clear.

As a PP suggested, block off in your calendar the hour you are doing pickup.
I have done that for years, my manager and team know why it is and they also know I take it instead of a lunch break.

Jesus. And we wonder why employers are trying to get staff back into offices.

There is no way on this planet that you can look after a 2 year old and work at the same time.

Have you checked what benefits you're entitled to? Not sure what kind of salary you're on but there is help for childcare in certain circumstances