Living with a unique name that is mispronounced.

Rover?

My name isn't mispronounced but is regularly misspelled and that drives me mad! Especially in emails - it's right there! In my signature and the bloody address!

I mistakenly (and repeatedly) called a Kristy Kirsty at a work event recently. She didn't correct me and I was mortified when I realised. I got in touch and apologised afterwards. This thread has made me wonder why her parents didn't go with the much more obvious spellings of Christy/Christie/Khristy/Khristie though...

I think that’s ok. My friend has an Arabic name and chooses to use a different one.

Her name has a specific arrangement of vowels and she said native English speakers cannot get it right so she prefers to use a nickname.

That is brilliant!

Piccalards ... I misread it on a tin as a child and it stuck in my brain, as I don't think I said it out loud for some time and therefore wasn't corrected. Still cracks my mum up to this day.

People should really consider things like this when naming their children. My name isn’t hard to pronounce but there are 2 spellings of it and mine is the less common way so every sports day certificate, every job, even my first driving licence had it wrong because everyone assumes it’s the other way. Even the DVLA, even though I filled the form out with the correct spelling on. It’s never massively bothered me but it is inconvenient. It would also be annoying if people were saying wrong all the time.
Please just keep correcting people until they get it right. It’s really not hard to remember someone’s name.

I have an unusual name which is very similar to a much more common name. It’s longer than yours and it has been misspelt and mispronounced my entire life, despite being phonetically spelt how it’s said. I choose not to let it bother me otherwise I’d spend my whole life being annoyed over something that’s not actually that important in the whole scheme of things and I’m unlikely to be able to do much about (as it’s different people throughout my life some of whom I’ll only meet once). I now only ever correct someone if it’s important to do so….otherwise call me what you like! 😂. I usually get called a completely different name altogether over the phone!! I do congratulate people if they get it right first time, which is unusual!!

People aren’t doing it to be rude or unkind. They are busy and thinking about other things and have their own problems, and they just make a mistake. Reading wise people generally don’t read by actually properly looking at a word, they do it by shape, and you don’t process all the letters, so this partly explains it too.

I am also understanding as I am also often on the other side of the fence. I also struggle to remember pronunciation of names once I have them in my head one way, so I could easily do what your manager did and mispronounce a name repeatedly - it took me well over a year to get a relative’s name change dialled in. Another relative has also changed their name and can’t get that dialled in at all. So what I am saying is people have their own difficulties with this to different degrees and it’s actually nothing to do with you. Your name isn’t the most important thing in their minds - and nor should it be - for example at the interview she was probably thinking about your answers and the next question and trying not to fuck it up or look unprofessional (and possibly all the things she needed to do when back at her desk!!), and to having what you were saying. I have to write names down in this type of setting and glance at them as I’m speaking to recall them at all, and if they don’t immediately read as they should tbh I’m bound to get it wrong. More than once!

So what I’m saying is it’s not about you, and it’s not going to change so completely pointless getting annoyed about it your whole life. You cannot and will never be able to control what other people do. There are plenty of things in life to get annoyed, angry or upset about (surely at the moment!) this really doesn’t need to given that much emotional bandwidth.

You might also find this helpful. I’m currently listening to it as it’s a good way to think as you move through life and thought it might be quite apt for you and this issue:

https://amzn.eu/d/9qY1QSP

Pilchards?

I used to be friends with a Julietta who did the same thing. She was really Giulietta.

Because you are assuming people hear the same way as you - I have trouble picking up word sounds and I am terrible at new languages. When I met someone with an unusual name I have to spend quite a bit of time pronoucing it with them to get it right.

I am mid 50s and I don't think I have ever met someone with the same name as me its so unusual - it is 5 letters and is pronounced as it reads but everyone gets it wrong and even read my name and then call me a similar more common 4 letter name instead.
Its never bothered me - I know who they mean. But I think its because I have trouble pronouncing words myself. I don't take it personally. It happens every day to me - I know its because people feel confused how to pronounce my name or just assume they have heard incorrectly.
I do though try extra hard to get other people's names right.
I think though if I am honest with you if your name is not spelt how it sounds there is no hope on people getting it right.

People may not be doing it on purpose. There are a number of words I am fine pronouncing UNTIL I see it written down. Then my brain just sabotages me every time. I.e. the department store Fenwicks, Wymondham, Aoife, albeit, pilchards.

On Teams, your name is likely showing and might be causing that disconnect. Especially if it can be pronounced a different way.

I've always felt it's so important to learn someones name and how to correctly pronounce (and spell if necessary). A mistake at first instance if fine and often understandable, but to repeatedly get it wrong is very disrespectful. It basically says "I don't give a shit".

Having said that, some people just seem useless with name. My boss is called Joanne. I have worked very closely with her for 5 years so she comes up in convo a lot when chatting about work. My MIL - who has met Joanne countless times - constantly refers to her as Jane. I really don't think she's doing it on purpose but I do wish she'd make more effort to get it right (even though it doesn't effect me at all).

My name is a common variation of another common name - I get really cross when people continue to say it incorrectly even when I’ve corrected them! It’s said as it’s spelt.
I was away, with close friends recently, and all but 2 mispronounced my name at some point. They’ve all known me for at least 8 years. 😡

Very true, but to clarify a bit, it's not just about hierarchical status but formality/distance. So your boss or even the Prime Minister would still address you formally. Or any 2 people who haven't reached the requisite closeness to drop the honorifics, regardless of status, would address each other formally. It's very intimate to just use another's first name. Even lovers take a while to reach that stage...

Absolutely this.

And @user101101 where would you draw the line? If someone was introduced to their boss as Faisal and the boss said, ‘yeh, actually I’m gonna call you Fred, mate’, would that be fine?

Someone at work has their preferred pronunciation of their name in their email sign-off, it’s hugely helpful and I imagine he is a lot less irritated at the end of each day!

I think pissing them off is the aim. My family have very unflattering nicknames for each other.. it's hilarious!

I agree with prev poster where there's a class/cultural element to it. I get the OP is having a good rant, nothing wrong with that, I love a good rant. But in the grand scheme of things it's really not a big deal.

I have a unique name - never met or heard of anyone else with it! - and I personally love it.

It’s never pronounced or spelt correctly but that doesn’t bother me - I just correct people. Everyone remembers me that’s for sure!

Sorry it’s getting on your nerves OP - it’s amazing how people just don’t pay attention to what they read and hear isn’t it 😂

It's actually not Chin :-) that's the very Anglicised version. But as she's already gone to the trouble of adapting it for them, it's (as you say) even more disrespectful to disregard that.

I'm not sure I want to admit how long it took me to realise that I was working with Solveig, not Sophie.

I work with a lot of African people who put the phonetic spelling of their name on their signature. It’s very helpful.

People are forever mispronouncing my children’s names with a ‘soft a’. I do still correct them or drop their name into conversation so they can hear the correct pronunciation. Harder to do with your own name though.

I have a foreign surname - I genuinely am not bothered that people can't pronounce it I always have to explain how to pronounce and spell it, it is not a problem.

My lovely sister in law is called Anais.

Occasionally someone will call her ‘A neigh’ and she will roll her eyes and say, ‘I’m not a bloody horse! It’s A nay ees!’

Please start calling this guy Toto or Fluffy or Rover and when he asks why say 'I was just making up a name to be friendly, you seem to like that!'