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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my 17yo he needs to get a grip or move out?

177 replies

ChaosInCups2023 · 11/06/2025 09:49

Right so probs gonna get flamed but idc. My eldest is 17, still at home obvs, doing 6th form (just about), always moaning he’s skint, tired, can’t be arsed etc. Basic teen stuff I get it. But it’s getting silly now.

He had a row with me this morning cos I asked him to take the bins out and he said I’m “chatting shit” and he “ain’t my slave” 🙄 He does NOTHING round the house unless I nag like mad. Always glued to that bloody PS5 or out with his mates til all hours.

He got a part time job in Feb, sacked off after 3 weeks cos it was “too early” (it was 10am starts??). Keeps going on about wanting to move out but can’t even buy his own deodorant.

I said today if you don’t wanna live here by house rules, no one’s stopping you from going. Not chucking him out but I’m fuming tbh.

AIBU to say it like that? I feel mean now cos I know he’s still a kid in some ways but I’m at the end of my rope and got 4 others to deal with and no time for this strop nonsense.

Be honest.

OP posts:
InterestedDad37 · 11/06/2025 10:17

I despair of my fellow males sometimes... At that age I was doing A levels, worked weekends as a cleaner in a hospital, and had a girlfriend 😀. Give him a metaphorical kick up the arse. Get him to join the army or something 🤔 Make sure he's not watching chauvinistic bllcks online.

MyMindIsSoLoud · 11/06/2025 09:56

He is a kid, and sounds like a very immature one at that.

DM tells me boys are different. I was cooking full on family meals, housework, laundry at 12 years old and living away at uni at 18.
My older teen boy can’t even find the laundry basket! It’s frustrating, but he does have AuDHD, it’s just not easy to live with when I know how capable I was.

The thing is, if you say it are you prepared to follow through and turf him out onto the streets into possible homelessness? It’s not something I could do, and idle threats are pointless. No idea what the solution is though.