I'll give all details as don't want to drip feed.
Separated 6 years ago, 2 dc.
I took over the mortgage, he rents and pays £750 pcm. He earns around £46k per year though does overtime too so prob takes him to £48k. He does pay a large sum into a pension (public sector employment).
He has not paid a penny in child maintenance since we split, he does pay for school trips, music lessons and school dinners for eldest dc (youngest has packed lunch).
He does have them mostly 2 weekends out of 3 and the other weekend he has them for one night. We are quite relaxed about this though so it does vary if he has plans etc.
During the holidays he typically has them for a week at Easter and Christmas and 10-14 days during the summer holidays. All other holidays fall on me.
Anyway, he doesn't pay anything and has always said it's because he has them so much and pays for the things I mentioned above, and that he just cannot afford to pay anything and if I insist, he will have to move back in with his parents who live 100 miles away.
It's always felt like a bit of a threat.
Fast forward to where we are now, I am self employed, it's a constant struggle to balance childcare and work and if they are sick or have appointments it's always on me.
I earn probably half what he does and I am struggling, really struggling and it's taking its toll on me. Just today I've had to cancel work because my eldest has an emergency appointment?
So, am I being unreasonable to think he should contribute something?