Partner spent my money and lied

Does he gamble Op, I ask because that's probably where your DCs money has gone. He won't give you the money that's left because he's hoping to use it, get a big win, then say his friend gave it back. More likely he'll lose even more and you'll never see another penny.

I honestly dont know how you dont live with overwhelming anxiety living with someone who is so reckless with money. I would be a wreck!

First of all, I hope he manages to send across the £2k you have requested - its important to at least get this back.

The remaining £3k, wait until the date he says he will have this back. If he doesnt have it back by then, you offer him a payment plan to pay back the money to you over the next year or so.

The thing is, he can either agree to send the £3k back/make repayments, or he may refuse.

Either way, if he refused to send or repay, I would be leaving him once I got my £2k back and cutting my losses, then working my ass off for my kids to gain back the £3k they lost.

If we agreed to a repayment plan, I would leave him once the payments were completed.

Obviously this man cant be trusted. He has broken your trust on what seems like countless occasions, on different matters.

You and the kids deserve better.

The word I will have with myself is that she is the Executor of the Will and upon distribution of their legacy she is Trustee. She has illegally breached that trust and not used the money in the best interests of the children. In such cases where the Trustee has acted in such manner they become personally liable for the losses. Yes she has a right of action against him if she can evidence the basis on which she gave it to him. But she has still acted illegally, in breach of trust and has personal liability for any losses the children have suffered.

Hope that clarifies the matter. Yes he's a git. But she is in the wrong too.

What's 4% of nothing?

Didn't think he will touch the kids money
There was no reason to think he wouldn't. That's just what you tell yourself to somehow justify gambling with your childrens money on some kind of 'trust' exercise.

I told him how disappointed I am with him
He must be devastated

I'm not even going to address the feeling of dodginess this whole money situation brings but I really do wonder what it is you believe you are modelling to your children and how damaging it potentially is to them? Just because you don't want to be alone.

This cannot be real.

Either online or at the post office

I was just going to write that. Why on earth are people blaming her - he is the liar, he is the thief and he is the person dictating when she can have access/see the account. He is lower than a snake's belly and needs prosecuting for theft and financial abuse. To the person who said she has done the same to her children as he has done to her - terrible thing to say. She did not lend the money to him or anyone else - she thought she was investing it safely in a higher rate interest account, she did not spend any of the money on herself. Please have a word with yourself. Awful accusation.

I think you may find that you do if you leave him.
Your siblings are probably at the end of their tether with you staying with what they think is a deadbeat.

And what are you going to do about him?
Come on! You can’t surely think that you’re bringing up children in a healthy environment? They will think that the way he treats you and them is the right way to treat and be treated and the cycle continues to the next generation

You can buy premium bonds for your children, up to £50,000 I believe. It’s an excellent alternative to a savings account, backed by the Treasury so perfectly safe, and the average winnings work out better than most savings accounts.

I would do this with whatever you manage to get back from your thieving boyfriend. And as soon as you’ve got back as much as you can, I’d dump him.

Because how’s he going to prove it?

And, fine, let’s say unbelievably say the police give a shit. Lovely! Let’s have all the dirty laundry out, shall we?

He’s right. It’s not kindness. It IS weakness

But you know that really, don’t you? In the kindest way possible, you need counselling (alone, not with him) to work on becoming strong enough to toss this absolute loser out

So you do have family for support if you want to leave this poor excuse for a human?
He’s an untrustworthy deadbeat and your kids deserve better. Do it fir your kids, not for you.

My god op read this one sentence back to yourself and then think about what you did and make it make sense! You acknowledge this is an issue, you need help to detach yourself from him. Also your losing your family in the process because of this man, you've said your siblings relationship with you is affected because of him. What are you doing and why? Please seek help via counselling or something once you've clawed this money back, it isn't OK nor normal for you to accept this.

Why are you putting this man above your kids! You need to listen to what your heart/brain/family are telling you.

on the surface it’s not crazy to give your partner the money (I would trust my husband for example), but the more you have explained the more it was obvious that this was an error from the start.

you will continue to let him abuse you and let him break you further down.

you need to step up if not for yourself but for your children.

you need to follow through with threats of reporting him and actually leaving. Who cares if you ‘have no one else’ he isn’t worth being the person ‘you have’, and you do have other people; your siblings AND your children - put your kids first!!!

This doesn’t really add up as there are loads of widely available savings accounts that pay well above 2% - a quick search on any money website would have stopped you getting into this position for the sake of a few quid in interest

That was my calculation too. 5k lost for a potential £25 benefit and it looks like OP is getting none of the interest even if she gets the remaining money back.

If anything happens to you then he WON’T take care of you

He can’t even take care of you under normal circumstances, what do you think is going to happen if that changes?

Get rid and take him to small claims. He’s an arsehole and he is not going to get any better