Partner spent my money and lied

I’ve been an executor a number of times, I’ve never used a solicitor. Last time the funds went into a joint account for me and my sister and we distributed from there.

Intent? He’s INTENTIONALLY refusing to give her the money back. Read the OP’s updates (“he said no” and how he’s done similar before), and then the rest of the thread to see why it’s theft.

Honestly, I don’t know why I bother. Spooky2000, this is the ironic point I was making earlier! Just makes me not want to help in the future

You know social services could get involved if you allow your children to be used in financial abuse because you are knowingly allowing it to happen. You are allowing his needs above your children’s. You need to speak to women’s aid ask for help.

This, as a matter of urgency. Contact /ring the company and ask for a trust form. If you're unsure how to complete it, ring the company and they'll talk you through it. Put your brother plus whoever you trust as the trustees ( or a solicitor if no one else).

Have you written a will? Contact a solicitor/will writer. If you are a member of a Union they will have people to recommend to you. Leave your death benefits from work or other ( if any) to your children. Leave your share of the house (If you own) and any savings etc to your children ( in trust it will have to be until at least 18, better 21 +.) You may need to change the way the house is held, from Joint Tenants to tenants in common.

Don't tell your partner as he'll make you put him as the beneficiary won't he?

Unless you do this your children will see none of it will they?

If it's your children's money left to them as an inheritance you should have put it somewhere safe. You are at fault here just as much as your "partner". If he doesn't return it you will need to replace the money, including interest.

There has to also be intent. Intent cannot and will not be proven here.

Even if he loses every penny in a ‘bad investment’, as long as he didn’t steal it from her in the first place (which he didn’t, she handed it over willingly for ‘safekeeping’), unless he set out to steal the money (permanently deprive), it subsequently happening doesn’t meet the threshold for criminal (theft).

Honestly op your your own worst enemy. For your sake and especially the kids please get more therapy and kick this scumbag to the kerb.

I suffer from health anxiety and know how debilitating it can be at times. I've managed to learn to control it and live a full life with it. It doesn't go away but with the right help it can move minimised. I'm so sorry about your mum and how that's left you but you and your kids really deserve better. Dump him and hopefully your siblings will come back and will support you through this.

It's a good start to get home removed as an executor as you've found out he can't be trusted with any money whatsoever. He knows your making empty threads and is taking advantage of that.

Of course you can go to the Police, why are you saying he knows you can't do this?

Sorry to derail your thread, OP, but I hope the following helps other people posting for help in the future (and a lawyer comes on and someone either disputes their knowledge or accuses them of lying about being a lawyer):

Spooky2000, it does happen often on here and I think someone lying about being a lawyer is weird as fuck. It’s like lying about being an estate agent or the tax man! We’re widely hated as money-grabbing liars or else it’s some weird ass “pffft! You think you’re so smart and high falutin’!” anti-feminist shite. It’s really not THAT hard to be a solicitor. We aren’t Nobel prize winners.

PSA: it’s really unlikely someone on MN is lying about being a lawyer. There are SO many lawyers out there. FWIW, I’ve spent my career working for funds, banks, sovereigns, oligarchs, nobody that helps the world etc etc. I honestly consider it my penance to use my legal knowledge to help people IRL/MN, so someone with an odd agenda to baselessly accuse me of lying helps precisely nobody.

He needs to transfer that £2k now that is still in the bank and then work on getting 3k back. And then boot him out.

You keep saying you don't have a tone but you do! Your siblings. They have withdrawn because you won't leave this man. If you do, I'm pretty sure they will support you. Honestly like a previous poster has said, you've posted this but aren't really going to do what obviously needs to happen and leave him.

The level of passivity in the OP’s comments is making me want to scream.

I don’t understand why people are talking about calling the police- this is a debt matter which is Civil not Criminal.

Put simply he owes you money, so it’s a debt claim.

I would keep trying and play nice for a short period of time. Ask him to take out a loan to cover the remaining £3k.

Once you’ve got the money back I would end the relationship.

If several weeks go by I would end the relationship myself and pursue him for the money yourself in the court.

You can make a money claim online here: https://www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money/make-claim it’s a form plus a court fee. You’ll have to provide evidence such as bank statements, messages between the two of you about it. You need to tell the court how much is owed ie £5k. The court fee is £205, which you can also try to claim back from him

Surely this is the end of the relationship OP. Surely?

But that's why he's treating you like this and stealing from you because he also thinks this is true and thinks you will also forgive him. So why would he change?

But he's not the only person you have, you have your kids and siblings and you have yourself. Put yourself first. Get your money back and then get rid. Don't ask for it, demand it back otherwise tell him you will contact the police and follow through with the threat.

He's seems like a nasty piece of work and you deserve better. Good luck 🤞🏽

Calling a clearly abused and vulnerable woman stupid is appalling behaviour on your part
Whilst I agree with your point on trust, surely you could have made it more kindly in the circumstances?

Wow this is so stupid of you op!!
You can’t come back from this breach of trust surely. I’d be taking him to court but equally you ‘gave’ him the money!!

Sorry if someone has suggested this already, but could you say that your brother has found out (you could say he asked in his capacity as executor) and he’s going to the police if the 2k isn’t transferred now, with the rest in 7 days? He might not believe you’d go to the police but I suspect he sure as hell knows your brother would.

I’d be tempted to play move for a few more days and set up a text message evidence trail just for the sake of the 2k. I suspect sadly you won’t see the 3k again.

Once you’ve got the 2k back get rid of him, if you need help ask for it (counsellor, family, police etc). This has simply got to stop.

You do realise he is probably 80% the cause of your anxiety. Get rid of him your children deserve better.

Absolutely this.

Not sure why you could only find savings accounts that paid 2% OP as there are a wide variety of ISA’s and general investments that pay far more than that.

You call him your partner but in previous threads you’ve said husband - I’m not sure if that makes a difference to any will or legal documents as legally if you’re married hes probably your next of kin.

Was going to suggest this. You nor your boyfriend can be trusted with money

So you've told him how 'disappointed' you are with him? Ah well, that makes all the difference then doesn't it? He'll turn over a new leaf immediately, you'll forgive him, everyone on here will be apoplectic at your weakness, sorry kindness, and everything will just roll on as it is, same as. 'Course, you'll not see that money again, but hey ho, if he's ALL you've got ...

Eeek a very expensive to lesson for you to hopefully finally believe he is what he is and will not only take from you but his children as well.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing and we can all sit there and say you should never haven given him the money to put anywhere given his track record, but we’re not in your shoes.
This would have me packing up our lives together and making steps to be independent regardless of no family support. I’d rather be on my own then let someone stay that sounds as useless and awful as he is.
Hope you can get the rest of the money back, I was given some money for my children and I kept it in my normal account until I could sort out where it needed to go which is usually better then letting someone else take control of it.
It’s an old saying but a good one ‘when someone shows you who they are, you should believe it the first time’
I really hopeyou manage to live your best life going forward, which I don’t think should include him.

Better off putting into cash ISA you don’t get taxed on the interest. Martins Lewis money saving expert tells you all about saving accounts, not sure premium bonds are worth it unless you put 50k in.

F me, you've had it rough with this loser. :( Be charming, get the dosh back and if that doesn't work (within your own mental timeline that you've given), then sue the fucker. I'm also of the opinion that the police won't do much, but an arrest might be enough to put the shits up him and hand it over - or it could go the other way and he digs in his heels, thinks F you and doesn't pay it. Only you know him well enough to know how to play him.