18 yr old ds permanently at the kitchen table

If he is successful at what he is doing at that table you will probably manage to get rid of him for months at a time.

Jesus Christ most parents would be proud of their kids for revising.

I wish I had this problem! My daughter hides in her bedroom pretending to revise and hiding her phone or changing her tablet screen whenever I go in to checkshe is actually working. Her school advised that they use the kitchen table or similar space downstairs as opposed to their bedroom but she won't have it. It's not forever and it is great he is putting the work in.

It will be over soon. DS2 seems to be revising continually in his bedroom and only pops down for meals so I rarely see him. I try not to look at the state of his room, or the clothes in a pile next to his laundry basket that didn't quite make it inside. I'll save the nagging until after they're over, because every time I say anything about it, I'm told 'I'm doing an exam paper'. And I know what is more important at this point.

At least he is doing some revision and not sat in his room on his phone pretending to revise.
But I would be knocking the bringing meals to him at the table on the head. He is not the King.

Its exams that could possibly affect his future career, prospects, earning potential,and his social life. Let the poor boy study. I really don't see the big deal. Your daughter won't remember drawing but these results affect his life !

You bring him ALL meals? As in breakfast, lunch, dinner? That’s pampering him to the extreme! He can surely get up and make something?

Hang in there! Sending love. I’d send wine if I knew where you lived!! 😂😂😂

I think I'd be glad if my child was studying so hard and with the family rather than just holed up in their room all the time, at least I could see they were actually doing something, and I'd want to be as supportive as possible. It's such a short time in their life and so important.
He's in the kitchen is it really so hard to walk a couple of steps and pass him a plate?

I definitely think that he needs to not take over the whole table though, so his sister can use it too. She can't be disturbing him that much if he's wearing headphones so that is just being awkward and selfish.

I saw a post about this on WIWIKAU, so many tables being taken over.
I don’t really understand it, I’ve had 2 go through exams now and they used the dining room table at times but put their stuff away when the table was required by the rest of the family.
There’s no way the rest of us would be balancing our dinner on our knees for weeks on end.

OP I do get you being frustrated. I have a sibling who used to do this to my parents. The issue wasn't that they were revising or using the table; it was that they were expecting a communal space to become a private space effectively, in that my sibling would complain about people using the kitchen too often or too loudly, get annoyed if anyone needed to grab something from nearby and was furious if anyone addressed them and broke concentration. It forced everyone to walk on eggshells at the heart of the house. (I on the other hand locked myself away in my room and got told I was being rude for that too... no I'm not at all still bitter 15 years later 😆)

It's so close to the end now that I would recommend leaving it so as not to disrupt the routine at a crucial moment. After exams, if they're sticking around, have a family discussion use of the table and set whatever boundaries you need to for your own sanity!

I think it's great. My son of a similar age hides in his room hugely distracted by other online stuff when he says he is 'revising'. I've often suggested he sit downstairs but he won't. It could be worse!

You all live in the same house - why does DH have exclusive use of the study?
Does he WFH? Why can't he share that space with DS if needs be.
And if he uses it for gaming, he can give it up.

The fact that he’s studying and is not hiding in his room is a positive imo.

Honestly, your problems could be a lot worse if he wasn’t working for his exams.
Embrace it. It’ll all be over soon enough.

You have a nice quiet space to retreat to? If not I'd be staking a claim to that study. But seriously it will be over soon and in a few years you will look back longingly to these days

Yeah I felt like this when DH was wfh during Covid. Not his fault but really did render the dining room unusable in that time.

Sometimes people prefer to be working in the ‘hustle and bustle’ of family life, rather than holed up in a room on their own.
I was the same.

He sounds like a really conscientious lad, give him a break. It’s not forever.

I’d be pleased if my dc was studying at the kitchen table. Studying can be isolating and having people around brings a sense of normality.

I wouldn't be waiting on him, if for no other reason than movement breaks are important. Leave him to the kitchen table it sounds like theres not long left now DD can do her drawing in her room and you can all eat on laps a couple more weeks and then it will be done.

Bringing him meals to the kitchen table seems like overkill. What happens when someone else wants some table?

My dd is also doing her A levels. It is quite stressful. If he takes a year out and does an admission test he’s not going to be at the table for months on end again. You are catastrophising there.

Jesus there’s one, two weeks left at most. The time to tackle this was months ago. Be pleased he’s putting the effort in and support him FFS.

Can you buy a camp table and stick it up somewhere nearby temporarily to eat off during exam season?

Otherwise it’s really annoying having to constantly clear space for two or three meals a day in a family home.

I wouldn’t have been allowed to
monopolise the kitchen table like this when was doing A levels. I had to study in my room. It’s good he is studying though!

Your ds should at least be encouraged to share a bit of the règle with your dd if she colours quietly.

Another alternative is the library?