18 yr old ds permanently at the kitchen table

You can’t see this now but please remember they will not always live with you & you will some day look back and wish for the days he spent at the kitchen table. Please remember something you never know when “the last” time is. Enjoy it, it doesn’t last forever!

I don't think you realise how lucky you are to have a son like that who takes revision seriously and/or who doesn't spend the whole day locked in their room.

I was like that when I was studying, I took over probably the entire living room. Yes, it was probably selfish looking back, but it's a really stressful time and it's good to have family who will support you during this time.

Go and share your husband's individual workspace and leave your son alone.

Then why did you make a point of criticising those who suggested holding on with how things are for a bit longer?

@ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera
I said op is allowed to be upset not 'pull up the drawbridge' ffs

At least he is working for his exams. That takes priority at this stage however much it’s annoying

Will he be able to have a summer job once exams are over. Definitely get him doing chores during the holidays. Can he cook meals? If going to uni he needs to be able to look after himself and not be waited on

Why would you pull up the drawbridge on the status quo in the middle of exams, with just over a week to go, so you can make a point?

Op is allowed to feel upset. There's another adult in the house who isn't the slave/dogsbody and whose space isn't being invaded. I would feel slightly aggrieved by this point as well. And op has been incredibly supportive even going as far as putting her work on hold for this revision period. I notice on here a lot how the womenfolk are supposed to defer to the menfolk because it keeps the peace, it's only for another day/month/year, you were doing it anyway etc.

I went on a revision course on how to support the kids doing exams and this was exactly what they suggested - work at the kitchen table so they aren't distracted by tech on their rooms. Seriously, you should be delighted nit complaining.

I spent O' and A' Levels holed up in my room. There's no way I could have used our dining room with the amount of traffic in and out. I did English Literature for both so I always had a set text to read and read again and sometimes managed that in the corner of the lounge. But essay writing and revising...no. I was the eldest and a first gen (my parents left school at 15 and went to work) so the effect of me being upstairs on my own swotting away was a bit alienating for us all. On the other hand, keeping my study things upstairs and out of the way made stopping for meals a distinct break and meant the rest of the family weren't inconvenienced by stacks of books and ring-binders.

We are all different of course and had I had children I'm far from convinced that I wouldn't have let them study wherever they were happiest and most comfortable - whatever it took to get them through their exams. I know how difficult it is. I've since done two bachelor degrees, a diploma, a master's and am approaching the end of my PhD and my A' Levels stand out, more than forty years on as the most stressful thing I've ever done, academically. At the same time, I'm more aware now than I was back then, of how difficult it was for those around me. All the best to your son and to you - I hope his exams go well and he gets the results he wants.

Who is bringing him all his meals? If it's you, stop.

Your house sounds a bit like men get to spread out everywhere and take up space, and women have to budge up (and possibly bring them meals). Think about how fair that is.

Oh come on! The OP should read some threads on here where teenage boys are telling their mothers to fuck off and have got their teenage girlfriends pregnant.

This is not a biggie, her son sounds like a good lad.

It's just another week and a half. Just leave all your complaints to one side for a few more days. Let him have the table.

Do they have enough space in their bedroom?

It’s great he’s doing it at the kitchen table, you know he’s actually working. When I was ‘revising’ in my room, I would have been painting my toenails, reading Smash Hits and More magazine (showing my age), literally doing anything but revising. Now kids have that added distraction of social media and everything else online. There is no way I would have the dedication to knuckle down and actually revise.

When he lands a good job and is successful in life, you will look back and laugh at how he drove you mad with his books over the kitchen table.

I'd be very glad he isn't locked away in his room for hours on the internet. Be careful what you wish for...

Body doubling is a thing. Let him be productive where he can feel more accountable to himself and family.

I’d have been dancing with joy if my Ds had done that. He couldn’t be fucked, count yourself lucky!

Dumb

Help Help Help! My teenage son is taking his A Levels really seriously and is spending a lot of time revising. I know he’s revising because he’s at the kitchen table. It’s a living nightmare!

Where has she not supported him? She has tolerated this and fed him and let him off all family commitments, what does supportive look like to you?!

Who says she isn't. OP is allowed emotions too, she is a person not a son-facilitator. She can be proud AND annoyed, which is pretty much what parenting is a lot of the time. Edited to add that I would be glad my kid was revising but not THAT proud, I would kind of expect it, your bar seems low.

This must be annoying OP, I sympathise. I guess he works better around people? I would have killed for my own room to revise in, I had to share with all my sisters. Different methods for different people I guess. You sound very supportive letting him off all chores and supplying all food straight to the table! I think it's nice to do for this time, but if he does retake the admissions test I would be reasserting the rights of other people in the family to also use the space, especially my other child.

I’d be pleased. Dd hides in her room and I’m not sure how much revision is happening. To be fair, I took over the dining table every uni assignment when I recently did a post grad course. I think it did drive dh slightly nuts as we have a study but I needed more space for piles of papers. He never complained but did comment it was nice to have it back once I’d finished 😂

If it’s the most annoying thing he’s doing, I think you have to suck it up.