Not happy with husband’s new living arrangements

Excellent idea.

He could keep his slippers warm till he returns.

What the ???? This is crazy.

Seems like you have solved the situation now. I am sure he will soon find somewhere else to live.

Just to say great that you were able to chat through this and all is okay. Says a lot about your relationship which is lovely.

You were right to bring it up and nip in the bud straight away, as no need to let this kind of thing continue even if seemingly harmless at the outset.

Go meet her,then go with your guy instinct

Let him know that you advertised for a lodger and the guy is coming to view your place next week. Also, comment that it will be nice to have someone there with whom to have meals and watch tv....

Sorry but FUCK NO. What's he playing at that's so disrespectful to you . If your uncomfortable tell him and ask him what he intends to do to rectify this . If for any reason he does not pack his shit and hall ass at upsetting you with these circumstances he's put himself in then throw the whole " husband " away . Surely he knows this is a boundary violation for most relationships ?

Not unreasonable at all. You should ask him how he would feel if you took in a weekday same-age male lodger in his absence, and you cooked, ate, and spent the evenings together.

Sorry but you should never have to say you are uncomfortable with that. He has no respect for you or he would never have done that in the first place. He's a prick. Ltb.

I can’t understand PPs who are annoyed with the OP - I am laidback and this would bother me. It’s a very intimate set up. It’s not a typical lodger situation

I would tell him he needs to find another, male, room mate.

Ohhhh no he’s taking the peas! I totally understand why you’re not happy. I wouldn’t be either! Renting a room is one thing but eating with her and watch Tv….nope. My guess is she’s lonely and wants a companion. She likes him enough to eat together and watch Tv and we all know what comes next…she’ll make a move they always do. I think have a chat with him now and be honest how it’s making you feel, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. I’ve seen it happen from both sides! People start out as lodgers and then the lines become blurred. Had an ex who was a lodger, llady was 18yrs older, was indeed ugly, single and whatever else. But she was thirsty so thirsty that when he net me she was jealous, jealous enough to stalk me online and message me and ward me off. He didn’t known until I told him and was shocked (so he said) when I challenged her it all came out that he was erm giving her one every so often 🤢 and she was almost 60.

I used to work in hotels and we had lots of male customers who worked away a lot and were probably pretty lonely. I made an effort to get to know them, talk to them, give them breakfast in a bag etc if they were having to leave early for work. But thats not the same as watching tv at night or eating dinner with your flatmate while you've a family at home. Its quite an odd choice.

You’re assuming of course that SHE is attracted to your husband? Maybe she just needs some money makes sense to rent a room out and saves money eating same food.

How many bedrooms does it have ?
I would not be happy and why would this woman want a strange man as a lodger?
Very fishy indeed

Maybe you could get a lodger during the week, when he is away. Lots of people want monday - friday accommodation .. mention it to him. Sounds cosy, then share a bottle of wine ..well anything can happen after that.

I think you’re doing very well and keeping your composure with some ridiculous posters. Nothing wrong with what you’re saying, it’s natural to want to keep some boundaries and avoid problems

Hahaha LOL, no WAY in a million month of Sundays would this be happening in my marriage. Glad you sorted it out @MidnightOrange but hell would freeze over before I would ever let my DH spend time LIVING with another woman (single woman) whilst he was away working. Fuck that shit for a game of soldiers! Ain't happening.

Like he would never be going out with another woman (socialising) just the 2 of them. A married man has no business doing this. A woman and a man together alone, in an intimate setting with no-one else there, is a breeding ground for an affair/sly fucking. No. Just NO!

I don't believe anyone who says they'd be OK with this. No you wouldn't! 😂

Why don't you go and meet her? Friend of mine used to take in a lodger to help with her mortgage. One guy was a fella we worked with whose family stayed a few hundred miles away. His wife would visit for a weekend once a month.

No, just no. Not fair on you, he shouldn't have made this arrangement in the first place knowing what he was getting into. imagine it's the other way around. You should speak up, if he really cares how this makes you feel and cam see your point of view he will make other arrangements.

My concern would be that he is leading a double life. That this is ‘the other woman’ none the wiser and having a full blown relationship with him, living together etc and his cover story to you is exactly what he told you…. Perhaps arrange a visit to this place during the week to have dinner with him, if he says no to that suggestion then you know something is fishy….

I would feel exactly like you. As would my partner if the roles were reversed.

Im glad you were able to chat, your dh was understanding and will alter his arrangements.

Boundaries aren’t imposed on anyone. Other people’s boundaries are metaphorical lines that you choose to cross or not cross. An individual’s boundaries can be whatever the hell they want them to be. The partner can either respect them or not.

Hey if you get hacked off a lot and find yourself incensed by those around you having boundaries then you really need to look up ODD or one of the PD’s because this level of annoyance is the only thing not looking ‘natural’ around here.

Glad he listened to you, understood and acted. Sounds like you guys are able to problem solve well together 👌

I wouldn’t like this at all