to not believe in unconditional love

I think even love for children could be conditional in some circumstances. I’ve read on MN loads of times where parents are at the end of their tether with addiction, behavioural issues, estrangement or just rude piss taking adult children where the love is wearing thin…

No, my love for my children, siblings, and parents is unconditional. My Dad has been hard to love over the years due to alcoholism but even when I wasn’t speaking to him I still loved him, and I will always forgive him for things. I love my children the most and if I had to choose it will always be them. If one of my children did something terrible I would turn them in (probably) but I would still visit them in prison and love them the same.

The cat though… she’s the one I would go to war for. I’d invade and conquer far away lands for that cat.

I love my husband, but yes if he did something unforgivable I can see that love could disappear. I don't have kids, but I believe my love for my dogs is unconditional. There is nothing they could do that would change that. But in terms of actual humans, there is no one I love unconditionally.

I don’t love anyone else except my children and my husband. I like my friends a lot but wouldn’t say I love them.

I could totally not love my husband if he cheated etc… that love would disappear in an instant but I adore my children and that’s unconditional. I would do anything for them and I love them so much that I can’t imagine ever not feeling this way.

I agree with you OP

My dc committed a terrible crime. I still love them but haven't had them in my life for over half of theirs..
And that's the way it will always be..
Estranged but still loved..

I can imagine (in a very different life) reaching a point where it would be better not to see ds, but I can't imagine not loving him.

If he has a sibling - if he murdered his sibling? Or worse. You’d still love him?

I agree with the partner/ friends thing but not my children. My love for them is primal and completely unconditional. I might be terribly hurt by their behaviour and not like them but I could never not love them.

I agree with you.
I thought I had unconditional love for my children, but as an adult one of them did something that I thought was so dreadful and unforgivable that after that my love for them simply disappeared.

Unconditional love is ONLY for children (and, arguably, pets) because they need it as part of a healthy development while they can't be responsible for all their own actions.

Everybody else, you'd be a fool to love unconditionally. People fuck you over, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. People do bad things, some are actually bad people. Love adults conditionally.

I do kind of see where you are coming from. I realise that now I have adult children that although I do love them unconditionally (and I really do) sometimes I can easily envisage not seeing them again if they continue to behave in painful ways. It hurts and I don’t like the pain. Little kids are far easier to love usually. I think until you have adult children you don’t really know.

OP, I agree.

I agree with you about friends and relatives.

Not about my kids though - even if they are painful some days / weeks / years, I have to keep on. I have said “I will always love you - unless you murder your sibling” - it would take something seismic for me to walk away from my child.

There is nothing on earth that would make me stop loving my child. He could do things that disappoint me, yes, but I'd never stop loving him.

No. The love for my children I think feels definitely unconditional. No one else though. I would do anything for them.