to not believe in unconditional love

Originally he lied and said that his wife killed the children, he found her killing them, and then he killed her.
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His parents believed his story for a while, and said some awful things about his wife.

After a while, they did accept that he had killed them all .

Your ongoing presence in some form would possibly be guilt, obligation and biological driver more than the concept of unconditional love. Imo anyway

Absolutely this.

Totally agree OP. It's all conditional, it's all transactional. We don't often question that so buy into the narrative alot of the time.

With children, it's the biological imperative that will keep you loving in the face of all sorts. Societal shame also adds to that with mums.

With enough problems, say your child is born a psychopath with obvious problems associated,no return of your love in a healthy way, and you yourself are not a psychopath,yes, you're going to have alot of love to give sucked out the tank.

Your ongoing presence in some form would possibly be guilt, obligation and biological driver more than the concept of unconditional love. Imo anyway.

I watched a recent video where they played prison calls between Chris Watts and his mummy. His scarily unhinged mother is speaking to him like he is some heroic victim in need of cuddles only a few weeks into his prison term for murdering his wife and children. That's not unconditional love. That is a highly personality disordered mother, with a psychopath for a son, engaging in a game of communication that is built on insanity and a reality construct that more healthy people don't live in. I'd say there's a similar situation playing out with P Diddler.

Anyway I digress 😆

I wonder what excuse they had for him killing his unborn baby and his two children under 4 years old.

Exactly

My mum waa abusive and refuses to speak to her at all

I can see that she was abusive because she wasn't coping in life, so I do talk to her.

But i can understand my brother too

I don't believe in it either.

My children would have to do some awful things for me to stop loving them, but I think we all have our limits. If one of my children committed violent heinous acts and tortured others I can't say I would carry on loving them. How can you really love someone who does the most wicked things to others?

I might love who they once were, I might even still have that biological urge to protect them, but for me, that is not real love, it's just a bunch of mixed emotions.

It's so easy to say that we will love our kids no matter what they do, but not many of us are tested, thankfully.

Yeah they said he was an abused husband, and she provoked him into killing her.

I know, not a great pair of people

I love my mum unconditionally. But I guess she's not been abusive or really neglectful or cruel. If she was maybe I wouldn't feel that way?

I don't have kids but feel I probably would love them that way. But again if they were Tommy Robinson or a murderer I don't know?

I think I can say categorically I do feel unconditional love for my cats. Animals are not capable of intentional harm or hurtful behaviour.

Well they blamed the woman for her own death, so tells me all I need to know about what type of people they are. There was a story recently in America from April where a father raped and killer his own 14 year old daughter…did unthinkable things to her body. Could I forgive that, as a grandmother? No, I would have no son and be asking for the death penalty.

If your child killed their own child (or worse) so your grandchild, would you forgive them?

Chris Watts parents forgave him.

I remember seeing them at court saying "i forgive you son"

They actually blamed the woman he murdered for her death, for a while.

I don’t think people would admit to this even if they did feel this way. From the comments spouses are different to children. There’s plenty of stories out there where someone’s kids have murdered their own kids and worse. Even as an adult you’re still your parents child. If I was a grandmother and my adult child had murdered their child, could I still love them? Probably not? Look at Chris Watts, he murdered his pregnant wife had two children, do his parents still love him? Or if anyone knows the Adrian Jones story, which was horrific, could I as a mother still love my son after what he did, no. I think it’s foolish to say you have unconditional love for your child as you never know what could happen, yes you hope you would but there are monsters out there that do truly horrific things, and them monsters are someone’s child.

Unconditional love for my kids and family, been through some tough things with siblings, had to distance a while hurts so bad but never ever stop loving them...Same for my kids when older they may do wrong or bad things but disappointment and hurt still wouldn't kill the love I have

Partners/ friends/ family in general is not unconditional or shouldn’t be.
I speak to my brother now but had to go very low contact due to his behaviour for a few years. I am now still very wary.
Prior to that we were very close growing up. I was very sad about it but ultimately if he was going to behave badly then I no longer wanted a relationship with him. I want the best for him and do care but he isn’t someone I want to be around when he is behaving badly and I have made that clear.
My children are different. I think I would forgive them and love them no matter what even if for example they killed one of my sisters (who I love.)
I think perhaps the only unforgivable thing would be if one killed the other. This would be especially horrific in our family as they have already seen me grieve for their younger brother who died many years ago so to cause me to loose another child would be the worst thing they could do to me. So if one killed the other I don’t think I could continue a relationship with them but I think I would forgive them killing anyone else and always love them. I don’t think anyone ever really knows how they will react to things and feel about things until they happen.

to the poster who said they stopped loving their child because of what they did I wouldn’t interested to know what that was. I think everyone has their limits.

I watched a documentary.

A teenage boy killed his younger sister.

His mother still went to visit him in prison.

I sort of agree with you OP. I think no matter the relationship, there is a tipping point where a loved ones behaviour goes beyond what you can accept. For children of course that point is far beyond what you would accept from a brother or sister etc.

I am one of those weirdos who the only thing in this world that i loved totally and completely unconditionally was my dog. I suspect because he gave far more to me than I could have ever given to him, and he got a lot.

of course love is conditional, unless you are a disgusting human who would accept your loved ones if they started murdering and raping, or child sex offending…I don’t believe people who say otherwise, they’re messed up

Yeah this. Or SA a sibling or the commenter herself. It does happen.

I don't believe in unconditional love, because i didnt have a loving family.

My dad abandoned me. I thought "if my own dad doesnt love me, then love doesnt exist"

I don't feel that way. I think really shit behaviour makes you dislike the behaviour and to an extent the person. But love is bigger than that.

It's a gutteral thing - gut wrenching feeling of missing someone. And an ability to drag yourself to do something for that person that you didn't think possible or wanted to do. And desire to go to their aide when they are suffering, or being able to laugh at things about them that aren't particularly attractive, or see the best in them at their worst.

And sometimes it's only defined when it's missing or gone.

It isn't tolerating abuse though. It does require reciprocation. But I don't think it ever dies, it gets transformed. As the law of thermodynamics goes, energy cannot be destroyed.

My immediate family and DC, I love unconditionally. I have been poorly treated by a parent and a sibling and not liked them, in the case of sibling, still don’t particularly like them. But underneath all that, I love them very much. DC I love without question, depending on what they do, I could stop liking them, there is nothing they could do which would stop me loving them.

partner, friends etc… that is conditional and depends how I am treated, I give back the energy I receive and don’t tolerate being poorly treated.

My granny once said to me, that even if one of her sons murdered some one, she would still love them

Oh my god, I totally believe in unconditional love. I am an older person (59) my little sister (56) could literally do anything and I would support and love her. Anything.
i might disapprove, but I have and will have loved her my whole life. Unconditionally.

I kind of agree. I love unconditionally but there is only so many times you can be let down and it's ok to have boundaries