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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand people who don't love food

186 replies

pastabest · 10/06/2025 21:26

We had left over jersey royals from our tea tonight. And I overcooked (significantly) the marmalade ham I was making but it's created an amazing shredded ham thing when I've gone to try and slice it.

As I shredded the ham into an enamel tin to put in the fridge alongside the Jersey royals I was imagining all the delicious lunches I could make with them if I was WFH tomorrow.

We've got coleslaw, spicy beetroot salad, boiled eggs, lots of nice pickled stuff, a wide variety of salad stuff, houmous, all the cheeses etc and a massive herb garden. My mouth is drooling thinking about the possibilities.

Suggested to to DP who is at home tomorrow that he could have it if he wanted but if not I had plans for it for tea.

He looked at me like I was mad and said 'I'll probably just have a cheese sandwich and a packet of crisps like always'.

He is a food is fuel person and I just don't get it. I'm going to be going to sleep tonight dreaming of pulled ham hock with rosemary and garlic fried potatoes with a peashoot salad, a scattering of spicy beetroot and dollops of whipped feta covered in fresh chives , cherry tomatoes and cucumber with a sprinkling of seasalt and a nice zesty lemon based dressing of some sort.

I look in the fridge and I see endless possibilities, he looks in the fridge and finds the quickest and simplest route to being fed - enjoyment optional.

OP posts:
pastabest · 10/06/2025 21:43

JohnnyLuLus · 10/06/2025 21:35

I was force-fed by my mother as a child. (Held my nose to force me to open my mouth and pushed food in). I was punished if I was sick or couldn't swallow it.

Food isn't enjoyable for me. It's highly stressful.

Interestingly DP has a similar experience.

Plates had to be cleared because there were children starving in Africa. Many nights spent staring at a cold plate of food not allowed to leave until he finished.

He gets no enjoyment from food, it's a daily task to be ticked off the mental to-do list.

My thread title was wrong, I do understand, I just find it sad for him that food doesn't bring him joy, but he doesn't actually care at all it seems!

OP posts:
LadyTyburn · 10/06/2025 21:43

That is 100% incomprehensible. I can't think of any food I really love, there's food I like, food that is OK, food that is convenient.... I don't think I get hungry enough to start fantasising about food. If I'm really famished I just want the unpleasant hungry feeling gone. So crisps and a cheese sandwich is just fine by me. I also default to cereal or fruit if left to my own devices.

Moonlightfrog · 10/06/2025 21:43

I love food and cooking when I have the time too. I also have days where I just grab food for fuel, a sandwich, crisps or even a meal deal from Tesco 😬.

garlictwist · 10/06/2025 21:42

I’m with your husband too. I feel annoyed when I get hungry as it means I’m going to have to eat and it’s just another chore. I live alone and eat pretty much the same things every day so I don’t have to decide on what to buy or have.

Illegally18 · 10/06/2025 21:42

pastabest · 10/06/2025 21:26

We had left over jersey royals from our tea tonight. And I overcooked (significantly) the marmalade ham I was making but it's created an amazing shredded ham thing when I've gone to try and slice it.

As I shredded the ham into an enamel tin to put in the fridge alongside the Jersey royals I was imagining all the delicious lunches I could make with them if I was WFH tomorrow.

We've got coleslaw, spicy beetroot salad, boiled eggs, lots of nice pickled stuff, a wide variety of salad stuff, houmous, all the cheeses etc and a massive herb garden. My mouth is drooling thinking about the possibilities.

Suggested to to DP who is at home tomorrow that he could have it if he wanted but if not I had plans for it for tea.

He looked at me like I was mad and said 'I'll probably just have a cheese sandwich and a packet of crisps like always'.

He is a food is fuel person and I just don't get it. I'm going to be going to sleep tonight dreaming of pulled ham hock with rosemary and garlic fried potatoes with a peashoot salad, a scattering of spicy beetroot and dollops of whipped feta covered in fresh chives , cherry tomatoes and cucumber with a sprinkling of seasalt and a nice zesty lemon based dressing of some sort.

I look in the fridge and I see endless possibilities, he looks in the fridge and finds the quickest and simplest route to being fed - enjoyment optional.

Oh, how I understand you! Unfortunately I'm on a diet right now, but that's neither here nor there. Food is a source of great pleasure.

NeedSomeComfy · 10/06/2025 21:41

Ha, this reminds me of a joke that my portuguese husband and his family make, 'What does a Portuguese person talk about during a meal? What they'll eat for the next meal.' You would fit right in 😉

Dandeliondestroyer · 10/06/2025 21:39

You’re making my mouth water with those possibilities but I have to admit if it was me cooking I’d probably wind up making a cheese sandwich too. I love food but I’m an awful cook and when I’m in a hurry I always default to what’s easiest 🙃

aredcar · 10/06/2025 21:37

I’m with your DH. Some times I can’t even be arsed to make a sandwich and just eat cereal if I’m hungry. Unfortunately, it does mean I’m not the healthiest as I often go for the easiest option

JohnnyLuLus · 10/06/2025 21:35

I was force-fed by my mother as a child. (Held my nose to force me to open my mouth and pushed food in). I was punished if I was sick or couldn't swallow it.

Food isn't enjoyable for me. It's highly stressful.

KeineBedeutung · 10/06/2025 21:35

I'm probably more like you when it comes to food, but we're all interested in/motivated by different things.

feelingbleh · 10/06/2025 21:33

I'm with you I'm always planning my next meal in my head it really brightens my day. If I ever go out for a meal anywhere even if it's a regular place I will spend ages looking at the menu ahead of time deciding what I'm going to have. Food brings me a lot of joy.

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