To not understand people who don't love food

I grew up with a mother who fed us well (meat and two veg every night) but I dreaded mealtimes - I used to hide food or give it to the cat. Her meals were soulless and functional. When I left home I developed an eating disorder which went on for years, I didn't understand that food was meant to be enjoyable.

She still prepares the same meals 40 years later, goes to Tesco every week and buys the exact same food. I sometimes ask her if she ever sees a recipe and wants to try it but she looks at me like I've grown two heads 🙄

My mil says she eats to live, not lives to eat. She’s fooling herself, unfortunately.

In our house, it more about healthy vs beige. I love your menu OP, but my DH would choose the cheese sandwich over it. DD says that younger men who only like beige food are unattractive, so there you have it! 🤷‍♂️

I’ve heard it mentioned lots on MN and wondered what on earth it meant too.

this thread has opened my eyes.

it was almost as big a revelation as when I found out that not everyone has an inner monologue…….

I’m so sorry. She sounds evil.

My FIL was the most annoying food is fuel person i ever met, he used to quote "eat to live not live to eat" and constantly shame mil for eating. He tried it with me too

I would, it all sounds amazing. I’m a good cook, I love food. Eating for me is tied to emotion and stress. When I’m unhappy I literally cannot swallow, it makes me sick. Down to under 7 stone this year due to trauma

but generally food is a huge pleasure, and I will eat literally anything

I do think its different on holiday, from being at home, especially if you haven't been to the place before. If you aren't eating out, then you do need to have shopped and know where suitable shops are and if you are eating out, you need to know what the options are. Even on hols in the UK I have ended up with dubious hamburgers in dry buns through not doing the research. At home though there is always something in the fridge or cupboard or freezer and I know while it may not be my first choice of food, there will be something I like because I did the shopping. I don't class that as not having a particular interest, I just don't like ending up hangry.

I do find it tricky with inlaws sometimes as everyone is being so polite, but if we are all out together on holiday for the day, they do like food but don't eat very much. So they could have a croissant and coffee for breakfast and then still not be very hungry at lunch time, whereas for me, when in France, by 12pm I become French and want a 2 hour lunch break.

I'm either appalling or lovely to go on holiday with depending on whether you are a person who likes food or not.

I've been told this by friends who when I'm away with them are rather appalled by the fact that as soon as breakfast has finished (and I'm not nice if I haven't had breakfast) I'll be pondering where we'll have lunch or do we need to take sandwiches and also wondering how and what dinner will be.

Going on holiday with people who don't think about food or have a particular interest in food is trying for me. I've had times before now where I've just had to dive into somewhere and buy something quick to eat as I'm starving and whoever I am with has just said - 'no, I'm not really hungry at all...'. And I must be beyond trying for them.

Luckily DH and I have similar stomach timetables....

I wouldn't say i forget entirely to eat but if I am having a gardening day or a diy day, I will work through the day, get to around 7pm and be ravenous and headachey.

I definitely live to eat rather than eat to live (hence dream job as username). Love food and thinking about the next meal. Fortunately DH is the same and DD likes her food too. My son is very much a food as fuel person however, as he said his sense of taste has been affected by sinus issues, and would probably live on Huel if he could.

I also don’t get people who say they forget to eat. If I’m upset or stressed I probably wouldn’t feel hungry but I’m 46 and still waiting for the day when I forget to eat!

I'm sorry you went through that too.

Food doesn’t give me joy, it’s a necessary to survive. I can read a whole menu when eating out and not fancy a thing on it.
I don’t enjoy cooking or prepping food. Recently my husband was away for a week, the best bit was I didn’t have to think about food for us, I’m quite happy with cheesy chips or a bowl of porridge. I’d much sooner do something else and the kitchen isn’t my favourite place.

I don’t have an eating disorder, I’m a healthy weight and no mental health problems. I do have an overweight mother who never shuts up about food or is yet again baking, or shoving packets of sweets down the sides of the sofa, perhaps that’s why I find it all boring 🤷‍♀️

I would love to eat what you described but would never create it in a hundred years. Partly because we are a very small household and half the things you describe would be off or out of date in a couple of days.
How do you keep a varied fridge of possibilities when there's just one or two of you?

To me this isn’t good noise. I’m like the OP and will often day dream of the things I will make for tea and mentally put meals together from what I have in the fridge. I love thinking about food.

thats doesnt mean that I want to stuff down a whole packet of biscuits. I don’t tend to over eat really as I don’t like feeling stuffed. But I do love to enjoy nice food and drink and enjoy cooking and making up recipes.

food noise to me is when you’re compelled to binge and over eat, doesn’t need to even be nice stuff. Just anything you can get down you.

Thanks for the reply. I’m so sorry to hear this. Somehow with food is extra cruel because you can’t do without it: it’s not like alcohol or drugs. It must take a lot of time, as well as all your other resources. I hope one day it fades away, or lessens, at least the thing that triggered the eating disorder in the first place. What a blight. Good luck to you

The freezer is full of my batch cooking so I work through it and then start again.

Yes I certainly think the eating disorder triggered the obsession with food and planning. I think I will have to track calories my whole life, even though I've done a lot of psychological work on my relationship with food and a lot of learning about nutrition, including spending a lot to money on a private nutritionist for a time.

I am one of those ppl who can’t think about food when I am not hungry/ happy to not eat when going for brunch (if in a group) as I don’t get hungry until around 2pm and could quite happily eat my fave food forever - hate ppl cooking for me or surprise food (as in going out for food and I can’t see the menu before)

however- when I am hungry I love love love food - but then the indecision and faff around cooking puts me off my hunger so I love picky bits iyswim

Ive always been hungrier later in the day but I think a lot of this has to do with adhd meds

This has made me realise I think about food probably way too much. DH cooked roast lamb the other night. Tonight he's making some Moroccan thing with the leftovers. Already feel too hungry to wait that long. If I'm not making food, I'm probably thinking about it...

I'm with you OP. I love food. I enjoy looking in recipe books and websites as to what I can try next. I love cooking for my partner and me. Luckily we're both adventurous with food and talk extensively about what we want to try next. What we enjoy. What we've eaten on holidays in the past or as children ect. We never get up and think what's for tea tonight. We have it planned. And yes I go to bed thinking about food. In fact, reading this in bed last night made me so hungry I went down and made a sandwich with the left over chicken from last night's meal. I'm slim. 7 and half stone and nearly 5'2" so not a glutton but I do like good food. Tonight is delicious lamb steaks with garlic and oregano roasted corgettes, peppers, mushrooms and red onion and crispy smashed potatoes. Delicious. I'm so excited 😆

I'm with you ... and I'm coming round!

I used to be like you op but over the last few years I am becoming more and more like your dp. I have lost interest in food. I used to be great at experimenting. Looking up ideas for new dishes to make etc.

Now I am eat when I am hungry and just make something simple.

Isn't a 'wang' a penis?

I don't know-most of my partners haev really appreciated my cooking, in the past. I am quite sad that I do not get to do it and haven't for some years now!

Yes, my face when someone says that they forgot to eat. I mean, did they forget to breathe too? :-)