To ask how to resolve this!

Why are you letting him control everything? You should have been in touch with his sister and mother, then stopped contact if it didn't get sorted out. Let him justify to s court why his children aren't in school, in proper uniform and why it isn't returned. Next year your children will be taking more notice of clothes/appearance and they'll vote against sering him.

I don’t understand, are you saying he keeps the uniform and sells it on the side or something?

why would you think this? He’s clearly just being a dick.

He's playing a petty control game, he deliberately keeps you in the dark on where the DC are staying when they are at his, keeps their uniforms hostage as he knows you will buy them new ones or they will go to school in the ones at his. He knows you don’t trust him to clean/iron their uniform so you keep on buying new ones. He does it so you have to keep on begging him to return clothes, it feeds into his fantasy that you still love him. He doesn’t want you ringing his family as he wants you to keep feeling totally helpless! He doesn’t want them on certain nights as it would impact his social life and it would enable you to have weekends free. He is desperately trying to keep your attention focused on him.
You have no choice but to take it further, you need to know their whereabouts when DC are at his and he has to have them at weekends as he won’t return uniforms. He is the one creating the problems, so he can lump the changes.

You are trying to co-parent with someone who does not want to co-parent with you. Stop. Look up parallel parenting. Thats your only option here.

Don't ring him. Set up one of the court endorsed parenting apps (I think one is called Wizard parenting) and have all communication go through that. Write each message as if you expect it to be read out in court one day.

First message: " I am letting you know in advance that the DC will not be bringing any uniform with them this Sunday. You have x number of sets of uniform at your house for them. I am letting you know now so you have time to make sure it is clean and ready for school next week. Please keep the PE kit. I will return the DC to you next week with the school uniform that they wear to school on Tuesday. It will be cleaned and ready for school on Tuesday. It is your responsibility to ensure that their PE kit is clean for the following week"

And go to mediation definitely. Be very clear about what you want and what is best for the DC. I think you will need to be really specific. One thing you should definitely be raising is that he is responsible for providing everything they need while they are in his care. This includes uniform, shoes and any other items.

This ⬆️

If there is uniform there don't send any more. He will have to put them in that one. Until there is none there.

Then you send one set which they wear for both days and it cones back on Tuesday because they come back to you.

Another selfish man omg why do these people even bother having kids there not part time kids he chooses when he sees them, he chooses what clothes you have to keep buying, he is controlling you he’s the psycho not you. What if children ever needed you in an emergency you don’t know where he lives. He is playing you. Poor kids having such a shit dad who won’t give up his precious weekends up for them. Tell him cms might be for uniforms but not one for every week. I feel for you he’s a twat.

I wouldn't let my children go to his house if I didn't know where it was. I think you need to take legal action on this, OP.

Can you pick them up from his with clothes on a Tuesday morning & take them to school?
Shouldn’t have to but 🤷‍♀️

So on a Sunday, send a clean uniform for Tuesday. They will wear that Tuesday so you will get it back.

Leave the Monday PE to him. If it's creased etc that's on him . He will start to send to his sister for washing.

I remember yor last post. You want him to stop weekly contact and go to EOW which reduces the time he spends with this DC so I can understand why he wants to say no and stick as now.

You just need to find a way to work this out.

Crud posted too soon. I might have missed it, but can you send your kids with a bag and start training them to put their uniform and/or PE kit in a bag to bring home?

I think you just send an email to school/teacher letting them know that ex is responsible from here on out for their uniform/PE kit on Mondays and Tuesdays and copy him on it. Then stop sending them over with anything.

Do it under the guise of ‘if you need to contact us for uniform issues please contact the appropriate parent on the day’ or something else that makes sense.

If nothing else it will let them know it’s not you that’s sending them to school in crazy combinations

He sounds absolutely useless! He can’t even provided basic clean clothes! Is he really this useless or do you think he does it on purpose?

I’d do this. If he has uniform/ p.e kit don’t send any on the Sunday! If he moans tell him to buy some/ find what he already has!

Would it be worth asking the sister for uniform or offer to her to pick up the dirty uniform so she doesn't have to wash it

Surely he is responsible for providing uniform on his days? I’d send them in what they’re wearing.

If he doesn’t wash his own kids clothes then that is neglect on his part!

You must be so frustrated he sounds like a right arsehole.

Surely if you sent them to his Sunday without a PE kit he'd send them with one of his? Wouldn't leave his kids without?

Like what's he hoarding them for?