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DH and festering laundry - am I being fussy?

185 replies

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:12

Important background context: DH and I both work hybrid, flexible wrt days on-site or at-home. DH has a good habit of going for a jog every morning before he starts work.

My problem is that he frequently "helpfully" starts a laundry load containing his gross sweaty sports kit plus whatever he finds in the family laundry basket - and he'll do this whether or not one of us is at home that day. So of course what happens is the wet laundry sits in the machine all day, festering and developing that "fermented wet laundry" smell that is really hard to get rid of.

Today for example DH started the laundry early in the morning and swanned off to work (I had already left), I got home from work after 4pm, opened the washing machine, nearly died of the smell, had to run an extra rinse cycle with vinegar, then had to hang out the laundry at nearly 5pm. So chances are the stuff won't even get dry by bedtime and will probably still have the lingering smell 🤢

I have reminded DH numerous times to check whether I'm going to be at home before he decides to run a laundry load or at least to avail himself of the amazing time-delay function on the machine so it finishes later in the day! (Today he definitely knew I was out because he even asked me to pick up something from the shop near my work!) Yet he keeps doing this Angry

I have a suspicion he simply can't smell the fermented wet cloth smell although he claims to understand my objection. DC and I can all smell it, our pet hate is the clothes that seem to have been de-smelled, but then when you put them on and your body heat warms them up slightly, the stench is back and wafting all around you 🤮 It probably wouldn't bother me as much if DH would just do this to his own clothes, but he always adds everyone else's clothes into the load.

IABU - What a helpful domesticated DH, and what is this smell you mention anyway?
IANBU - There was a reason why the time-delay function was invented, and that festering damp smell is one of the low-key worst smells!

OP posts:
mambojambodothetango · 10/06/2025 17:40

DH hangs his sweaty stuff on a peg or something until it's time for a wash to go on

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:40

BallerinaRadio · 10/06/2025 17:36

But it's clean laundry. How can it smell worse than fish or cheese?

Objectively, I'm sure it doesn't smell worse than fish or cheese. I simply hate that smell more and am super-sensitive to it.

Presumably if we put a choice of said smells in front of a panel of ordinary people, 95% of them wouldn't find the fermented damp cloth smell anywhere near as bad as the others. But not me.

OP posts:
DiamondThrone · 10/06/2025 17:38

There is something wrong with your washing machine, not your DH.

Our wet washing sometimes sits in the machine overnight - no smell at all.

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:36

Mumofoneandone · 10/06/2025 17:34

Eco wash is the problem - not washing the clothes properly so they do still smell a bit. Particularly sports clothing.
For various health reasons I don't always hang washing out straight away and never had this sort of smell issue. Wash most of my clothes at 40 without a lingering smell problem.

So much for all the "save the environment by washing at 20/30C" Sad

OP posts:
BallerinaRadio · 10/06/2025 17:36

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:32

As I said, I really really really really really really hate that smell. I feel like keeling over if I even catch the faintest whiff of it e.g. the coat of somebody sat in front of me on a bus, that sort of thing.

OTOH I'm not bothered by the smell of, say, fish sauce or ripe camembert or other notoriously strong-smelled foods 🤷🏻‍♀️

But it's clean laundry. How can it smell worse than fish or cheese?

Richandstrange · 10/06/2025 17:35

You say you've spoken to him about it and he continues to do it OP but have you tried specifically telling him not to add other people's laundry and just wash his running stuff? That would solve it for me, his running stuff stinking is his own concern as long as he's not contaminating your/DC's stuff.

I just think that way he's still getting to do what he likes with his running gear (which might be his issue with failing to stop doing it, doesn't like being told what to do with his own stuff?) and you and DC don't have to suffer stinky clothes. As a PP said he's being no help with the family laundry if you keep having to redo it anyway, at least this way he's not actively making more work for you.

Mumofoneandone · 10/06/2025 17:34

Eco wash is the problem - not washing the clothes properly so they do still smell a bit. Particularly sports clothing.
For various health reasons I don't always hang washing out straight away and never had this sort of smell issue. Wash most of my clothes at 40 without a lingering smell problem.

DoingItForTheKids25 · 10/06/2025 17:33

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:32

As I said, I really really really really really really hate that smell. I feel like keeling over if I even catch the faintest whiff of it e.g. the coat of somebody sat in front of me on a bus, that sort of thing.

OTOH I'm not bothered by the smell of, say, fish sauce or ripe camembert or other notoriously strong-smelled foods 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think the point is the laundry isn't clean as it wouldn't be smelling if it was. You need to clean your machine and change your washing habits.

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:32

BallerinaRadio · 10/06/2025 17:28

As pretty much everyone else has said, why is your clean laundry smelling so bad you're nearly dying?

As I said, I really really really really really really hate that smell. I feel like keeling over if I even catch the faintest whiff of it e.g. the coat of somebody sat in front of me on a bus, that sort of thing.

OTOH I'm not bothered by the smell of, say, fish sauce or ripe camembert or other notoriously strong-smelled foods 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
spicemaiden · 10/06/2025 17:31

It sounds like you firstly need to run your machine on two 90 degree cycles with 500g of soda crystals each time, the seal needs cleaning too. Laundry shouldn’t be smelling after a few hours in the machine.
Recommend a dose of napisan or similar and all washing done at 40.

FranticHare · 10/06/2025 17:29

CanOfMangoTango · 10/06/2025 17:27

Too many cold washes will promote stinky laundry as the bacteria in dirty washing aren't killed off.

I can leave wet laundry in the machine overnight and it's fine.

But I do most of my washes at 30 or 40 and bed sheets get 60.

Ditto.

If you are running loads of hot washes with an empty machine to clean it, you might as well just run the full loads a bit hotter, or (as above) run your bedding and (especially) towels at a hotter wash.

Vaxtable · 10/06/2025 17:29

Get a separate laundry basket for him and he can them wash his own stuff only

FadedRed · 10/06/2025 17:29

Another place to check and clean frequently is the powder dispenser drawer and the recess it fits in, both can get very manky and mouldy, especially if you use laundry liquid or pod rather than powder, and/or fabric conditioner.

babasaclover · 10/06/2025 17:28

@GardenAnarchistsports stuff definitely has to be done at 40 or it just stinks.

But wouldn’t be happy with him leaving it in there rotting all day either. YANBU

BallerinaRadio · 10/06/2025 17:28

As pretty much everyone else has said, why is your clean laundry smelling so bad you're nearly dying?

user2848502016 · 10/06/2025 17:27

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:22

I do a soda crystal hot wash about once a month, should I do it more frequently? Most of our loads are 20/30C for eco reasons, maybe that is a problem?

Or possibly my nose is particularly sensitive to that smell - I can definitely detect it if laundry has been sitting all day (today for example would have been about 7 hours). I have always had an especial hatred of that smell for as long as I can remember.

This is definitely the problem, sorry but the laundry just isn’t clean enough that’s why it smells after a couple of hours. I would tell him to run his sweaty stuff on their own on a quick wash and hang it straight up - and wash it properly in a full load on a long cycle at 40 regularly too.

Parker231 · 10/06/2025 17:27

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:25

To clarify, DH doesn't put the laundry on and expect somebody else to hang it up - he would be perfectly happy to hang it whenever he gets home from work, because I think he can't smell that smell, so to him it smells perfectly clean however many hours it has sat there.

Sounds as if your washing machine is faulty. We often leave a load of clean washing all day and there is no smell - it’s clean washing.

CanOfMangoTango · 10/06/2025 17:27

Too many cold washes will promote stinky laundry as the bacteria in dirty washing aren't killed off.

I can leave wet laundry in the machine overnight and it's fine.

But I do most of my washes at 30 or 40 and bed sheets get 60.

Silvertulips · 10/06/2025 17:26

There was a machine that only washed at 30, it cause the smell and mould,

see pictures - if you want clean clothes wash them at the correct temperature - you are just breeding bacteria.

DH and festering laundry - am I being fussy?
DH and festering laundry - am I being fussy?
GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:25

To clarify, DH doesn't put the laundry on and expect somebody else to hang it up - he would be perfectly happy to hang it whenever he gets home from work, because I think he can't smell that smell, so to him it smells perfectly clean however many hours it has sat there.

OP posts:
Cadenza12 · 10/06/2025 17:23

Something amiss with your machine. I can leave mine overnight and there's no smell.

Cumulusnotsonimble · 10/06/2025 17:23

Obviously your dh should finish what he started but my washing doesn’t pong if I leave it in the drum for a day.

I might re-wash if longer than six hours but otherwise it’s fine. And I have a very sensitive nose.

Do you use only washing liquid which has built up a slimey residue?

Or is he using too much powder that’s clogged everything up?

Are you washing everything at 30°c?

When did you last give your washing machine a thorough deep clean? Including the manky rubber seal?

Have you emptied the filter recently?

Or should your dh change to a biological detergent for’ his sports kit?

Maybe start by putting the machine on at 90° with a big cup of vinegar in the drum?

Nancy Birtwhistle on Insta is good on advice for this sort of thing and is eco-friendly too.

NotSmallButFunSize · 10/06/2025 17:23

I sometimes leave it overnight by accident and it never smells.

But your DH should not be starting washing and then behave as if it is no longer any of his concern to finish the process

DoingItForTheKids25 · 10/06/2025 17:23

My washing machine doesn't do this to clothes if they're left in - you need to do a deep clean of your machine and make sure you're not overusing detergent or fabric conditioner.
I don't often do it but occasionally a load can get left in overnight/ for a day and it doesn't smell bad, maybe smells less good than if it had come straight out but a quick blow on the line and you can't tell the difference

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:22

I do a soda crystal hot wash about once a month, should I do it more frequently? Most of our loads are 20/30C for eco reasons, maybe that is a problem?

Or possibly my nose is particularly sensitive to that smell - I can definitely detect it if laundry has been sitting all day (today for example would have been about 7 hours). I have always had an especial hatred of that smell for as long as I can remember.

OP posts:
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