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AIBU?

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DH and festering laundry - am I being fussy?

185 replies

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:12

Important background context: DH and I both work hybrid, flexible wrt days on-site or at-home. DH has a good habit of going for a jog every morning before he starts work.

My problem is that he frequently "helpfully" starts a laundry load containing his gross sweaty sports kit plus whatever he finds in the family laundry basket - and he'll do this whether or not one of us is at home that day. So of course what happens is the wet laundry sits in the machine all day, festering and developing that "fermented wet laundry" smell that is really hard to get rid of.

Today for example DH started the laundry early in the morning and swanned off to work (I had already left), I got home from work after 4pm, opened the washing machine, nearly died of the smell, had to run an extra rinse cycle with vinegar, then had to hang out the laundry at nearly 5pm. So chances are the stuff won't even get dry by bedtime and will probably still have the lingering smell 🤢

I have reminded DH numerous times to check whether I'm going to be at home before he decides to run a laundry load or at least to avail himself of the amazing time-delay function on the machine so it finishes later in the day! (Today he definitely knew I was out because he even asked me to pick up something from the shop near my work!) Yet he keeps doing this Angry

I have a suspicion he simply can't smell the fermented wet cloth smell although he claims to understand my objection. DC and I can all smell it, our pet hate is the clothes that seem to have been de-smelled, but then when you put them on and your body heat warms them up slightly, the stench is back and wafting all around you 🤮 It probably wouldn't bother me as much if DH would just do this to his own clothes, but he always adds everyone else's clothes into the load.

IABU - What a helpful domesticated DH, and what is this smell you mention anyway?
IANBU - There was a reason why the time-delay function was invented, and that festering damp smell is one of the low-key worst smells!

OP posts:
nomas · 10/06/2025 20:34

Smittenkitchen · 10/06/2025 20:32

Trouble is he puts everyone else's clothes in the load too!

He won’t do that when he has no clothes left.

Smittenkitchen · 10/06/2025 20:32

nomas · 10/06/2025 19:59

YANBU. Tell him the next time he leaves wet clothes in the machine, they’re going in the bin. And mean it.

Trouble is he puts everyone else's clothes in the load too!

nomas · 10/06/2025 20:00

Puffalicious · 10/06/2025 19:57

Not rtft but the issues we had with our machine smelling funky disappeared immediately as soon as we stopped using pods or liquid & went back to powder. Seriously.

Sorry Smol, it's back to Persil or Fairy.

Supermarket own brand powder is just as good and half the price. I have very sensitive skin but no issues with it.

nomas · 10/06/2025 19:59

YANBU. Tell him the next time he leaves wet clothes in the machine, they’re going in the bin. And mean it.

DiamondThrone · 10/06/2025 19:58

Puffalicious · 10/06/2025 19:57

Not rtft but the issues we had with our machine smelling funky disappeared immediately as soon as we stopped using pods or liquid & went back to powder. Seriously.

Sorry Smol, it's back to Persil or Fairy.

Powder! Told ya!

Puffalicious · 10/06/2025 19:57

Not rtft but the issues we had with our machine smelling funky disappeared immediately as soon as we stopped using pods or liquid & went back to powder. Seriously.

Sorry Smol, it's back to Persil or Fairy.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 10/06/2025 19:56

Parker231 · 10/06/2025 18:21

Why would he need to use the delay function. The washing is clean but sounds like the washing machine is either faulty or a cleaning cycle not run regularly.

Well yes I agree, my washing doesn't get foisty if I leave it all day or overnight but OP thinks hers does, shes asked her DH to use the function which seems like a fair compromise in their situation.

Thaawtsom · 10/06/2025 19:53

We had exactly this issue. For us we changed washing powder brand and now use bio powder. (We had been using smol.) Still wash at 30; occasionally wash Dh sweaty kit in special stuff. If not using bio powder wash at higher temp. And use the timer but washing sits for 4-6 hours and is fine. It’s not the sitting it’s that your wash isn’t clean.

EdithBond · 10/06/2025 19:46

I have reminded DH numerous times

This is the thing. Relationships are all about compromise. It may not bother him. It may not bother other people. But it bothers you. You’ve suggested a reasonable solution: time-delay or leave it if you’re both out. He’s ignoring this. That’s unreasonable.

Have another chat and ask what his solution is. If he claims he ‘forgets’ or ‘doesn’t think’ when he puts a wash on, ask him if it’d help to stick a reminder note to the machine - and suggest he does it.

Another solution is that he only washes his own stuff. But that wouldn’t be great for the environment or your bills, if it’s not a full load. And he’d get out of washing the DC’s clothes.

If it persists, when he knows how much it bothers you and you’ve suggested solutions, that’d be disrespectful.

SquitMcJit · 10/06/2025 19:41

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 17:59

I am definitely starting to think that I'm imagining the smell Sad

You are not imagining it.

All the tips like not washing on low temps and using a sanitiser like the dettol one on sweaty sports kits and leaving the machine door open (like you already do!) will help.

But also, clothes left damp and sitting around or drying slowly will develop this smell from the mould growth from trapped moisture. It’s why people’s coats and umbrellas stink of this smell when not dried out properly before putting away/hanging up. And some people clearly can’t smell it!

JaneyDC · 10/06/2025 19:40

SquitMcJit · 10/06/2025 19:11

Yep. I cannot stand that smell. Would never leave damp washing sitting in a machine or in a wash basket for any amount of time as it does start to smell of this gross smell. Even if washed at 60 and in a clean machine.

Clothes that have dried too slowly smell of this too. So many people absolutely reek of it - wet umbrella smell. Workmates, people on the bus when their clothes are warming up, bloke I stood next to for 30 seconds in Superdrug earlier.

I’m not criticising people if they are struggling to get clothes clean and dry but I do think some people just can’t smell this smell and leave clothes sitting in a machine or drying slowly for several days. It’s the worst smell.

That's why I bought a dehumidifier! Hate that damp, took too long to dry smell!

GardenAnarchist · 10/06/2025 19:36

BellesAndGraces · 10/06/2025 19:00

I think I’m starting to understand the whole “cancel the cheque” thing. Vast majority of posters have pointed out that you’re probably using crap detergent and washing at the wrong temperature and that’s the likely reason your clothes smell after a while. You have barely acknowledged that and instead are insistent that your DH just needs to do what you say or that you have some sort of super special nose when, actually, your newly washed clothes are just carrying a load of bacteria still. Posters keep saying the same thing over and over again because they think you haven’t seen it when actually you’re just choosing to ignore it because “use a delay function” seems more logical to you than actually washing your clothes properly. I reckon reading your posts is just as annoying to posters as “cancel the cheque” is to you. Just saying …

Fair enough.

OP posts:
JaneyDC · 10/06/2025 19:35

You need to run your washing machine at a higher temp. I do clothes at 40, bedding, towels etc at 60. My washing machine also sends a msg to my phone to tell me when it needs to run a self clean cycle.

The heating element went on our old washing machine. One of the give aways were the clothes coming out not smelling fresh, but a little musty. OP, check your machine is heating up to the appropriate temp, at least 30C!

tommyhoundmum · 10/06/2025 19:34

Just turn off the machine at the wall. Take out the fuse if you have to

DiamondThrone · 10/06/2025 19:32

LindorDoubleChoc · 10/06/2025 19:29

There is a problem in your washing machine/plumbing if washed clothes are stinking after sitting for just 8 hours in the machine. I expect someone else has pointed this out.

Nah, they're washing them at 20 degrees with liquid, not powder.

It's not compicated. Or plumbing. Or the washing machine.

SquitMcJit · 10/06/2025 19:29

SamDeanCas · 10/06/2025 19:22

You aren’t imagining the smell. My DF does his own washing (Mum died), his clothes smell the same. When he came to stay, he used my DS room and we pretty much had to de-stink it for her. I now try to do a lot of his washing but it’s so ingrained into the fabric it’s difficult to wash away. I did find it was better when my old machine broke down and I got a new one, so I make sure I clean it out once a month and wash things at 40

Yes, I’d also agree with this. Once that smell is in fabric it is really hard to get out. We had a friend call round and sit on our sofa for half an hour and after he’d gone the cushion and sofa seat absolutely stank of the damp smell from his clothes and it took a lot to get it out. And this is a lovely person who is totally wearing clean clothes etc - but they always absolutely reek of the wet umbrella smell because they leave their clothes sitting around wet and drying gradually. I just think some people can’t really smell it. I wish I couldn’t 😅

LindorDoubleChoc · 10/06/2025 19:29

There is a problem in your washing machine/plumbing if washed clothes are stinking after sitting for just 8 hours in the machine. I expect someone else has pointed this out.

DiamondThrone · 10/06/2025 19:29

Aside from washing at the ridiculously low temperature of 20 degrees, washing powder is far more efficient than washing liquid at killing bugs.

Swimminginthedeepbluesky · 10/06/2025 19:28

Ps @GardenAnarchist
Do you also hate the smell of washing or DH that's been out in the cold?
It literally makes me heave -ozone apparently

Foodylicious · 10/06/2025 19:28

20 or 30 just isn't enough for sports kit (and 20 in view definitely isnt enough for pants or tshirts either).

For reference, 30 is cooler than bathwater, 20 is barely lukewarm.

Does your machine have a sports setting?
Ours does, but it comes up as 20 degree when you first select it.
I just increase this to 40. It doesn't add too much time to the wash.

Swimminginthedeepbluesky · 10/06/2025 19:27

BallerinaRadio · 10/06/2025 17:36

But it's clean laundry. How can it smell worse than fish or cheese?

Because they wash at 20/30

It doesn't kill the bacteria so when it sits there they multiply and stink

I only use delicates/ wool for cooler washes Normal clothes 40
Towels, cloths, bed linen is 60

Ugh sweaty sports gear must stink plus the laundry liquid/ powder doesn't dissolve properly and clogs your machine up

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 10/06/2025 19:22

I know exactly what OP means.
Do a soda wash at max temp, then only wash at min 40 in future.

SamDeanCas · 10/06/2025 19:22

You aren’t imagining the smell. My DF does his own washing (Mum died), his clothes smell the same. When he came to stay, he used my DS room and we pretty much had to de-stink it for her. I now try to do a lot of his washing but it’s so ingrained into the fabric it’s difficult to wash away. I did find it was better when my old machine broke down and I got a new one, so I make sure I clean it out once a month and wash things at 40

isitmeamithedrama · 10/06/2025 19:22

Gather together his gym/ running stuff spray it all with vinegar and use a dedicated sports wash, there’s one called halo and it’s excellent. It will properly cleanse the stink out his stuff and stop the foosty smell coming back then you can wash as normal.
mu ex husbands gym stuff clung into sweaty smells that weren’t apparent when dry and only resurfaced when damp halo got rid of that.
also try not using softener with gum stuf it clogs the material stopping it from wicking properly.

MarySueSaidBoo · 10/06/2025 19:19

I was getting that awful smell, OP, with a fairly new machine. Now I wash at 40c minimum and put on a wash cycle of 2 hours. And nothing smells, even if it's left for 3 or 4 hours. It's not good to wash at low temperatures especially sweaty exercise clothing.

Dettol laundry sanitiser is good to add as well I use that if DH has put his synthetic golf clothing in there.

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