How did your friends, family or colleagues take your late diagnosis of ADHD/autism?

Yes. I'm in a number of ND groups and this happens regularly.

Most people who go for an assessment do get diagnosed because the first stage of diagnosis is to fill out lots of screener questionnaires. The psychiatrist I saw recently says she cancels the appointment if it looks like from the questionnaires that a diagnosis will be unlikely.

At the right dose, most people find stimulants help them focus. Thats why people on speed can clean and clean and clean! A lot of people have executive functions that are not optimum. We all have different brains. Of course some people who find it hard to concentrate or have executive problems will have different brains to people with other issues. We r all different and all have different brains. Trauma and ACES also impact the brain development.

I am just in a bad mood, and probably was a bit blanket in my skepticism. I do understand some children can have severe developmental difficulties, and autism may be an appropriate diagnosis for some, especially when someone is non verbal etc...

But the amount of adults getting private diagnoses (and traumatised children being referred for diagnoses) is exponential and ridiculous in my opinion. People seem to want to be special/different etc.. one woman I know that's got herself an ADHD and ASD diagnosis doesn't need it. She is disappointed that despite a successful family life, husband, degree, phD and job, she isn't in the "successful" career her parents would like her to be. So the diagnoses are excuses for why she 'failed' to be successful! (failed!!? Ha, with a great family and a PhD. Get over yourself.)

I think anyone that wants a diagnosis these days can get one. So what is the bloody point. We r all different, we r all unique, we all have challenges. No, Claire from number 10 doesn't have ADHD just because she bought a book on it and has convinced the psychiatrist she has all the symptoms she read about and now wears the label.

The world is bonkers.

I'm not sensitive or easily offended, but people like you piss me off. You're in a bad mood so let's take it out on strangers on the internet who are having a conversation about their experience being ND. I spent my entire life being an emotionally unregulated ball of failure who didn't understand why I am the way I am. I contemplated suicide many times because I didn't understand how I couldn't do what everyone else did and found so easy / simple. You can say it's over diagnosis if you want, but what it really is, is A LOT of people who have fought for help their entire life and didn't get it and now they have the opportunity to, they are doing it. Medication has changed my life and if I wasn't ND it wouldn't have done that.

While I believe there's a conversation to be had about overdiagnosis and the influence of social media on 'trendy' conditions and diseases, saying it's all bollocks is also overreach. Are you aware that ADHD can be identified from a brain scan? Quite literally the ADHD brain shows physical symptoms. I'm not saying everyone who watches a TikTok and runs off to be diagnosed at the moment has ADHD but I think you should educate yourself a bit more before totally dismissing structural differences in the brain.

I'd also ask you what I would ask anyone displaying your scepticism: please explain to me, if my brain is not different, why do stimulants sedate me? How does that work if I'm the same as you?

So being ND and struggling with emotional regulation makes me a brat? Ok.

🤣🤣 I'm still with your auntie! But I deserved that!

I'm on maternity leave? Twat.

💯

Two work colleagues in their 40s have told me about their recent ADHD diagnoses (separately). I’ve had quite in depth conversations with both of them about it as I was curious and my son is recently diagnosed. They both told me it has been life changing for them. I don’t currently work closely with either of them but I used to. It’s not something I had picked up on, and there’s no judgement from me and it would not change anything if I still worked closely with them.

I was late diagnosed last year at 29. Every NHS professional I come into contact with just judges the fact I went private, husband is just happy I'm feeling a lot better on medication, not currently working but I've never had a supportive employer, my mum was upset and apologised thinking she failed me as a child as I wasn't diagnosed then, an auntie said that I'm just a brat and my mum should be harsher with me if I have an emotional outburst 🙃😂 x

Why can’t we accept that hot classrooms of 30 odd kids with constant chatter and overly bright lights are no good for ANY kid, ND or not.

Nor, for that matter, soulless offices with no fresh air, open plan layout and AC/harsh artificial lighting for adults. Staring at screens for hours on end.

It’s unnatural. This world is so overstimulating. It’s exhausting.

No wonder so many humans are fed up.

This 👏

I half agree with you.

I agree with this with reference to middle aged people who have managed to get to get a house, decent job, have kids, get married etc….

I feel like this new concept of ‘discovering ourselves’ can be good, however it dilutes the issues and problems faced by those, particularly children, who are significantly impacted in every aspect of life with their ADHD/ASD. This is where I disagree with you in that it’s not just a label, some kids are significantly impacted by it as their brains are wired differently. Their ADHD means they can’t learn properly because their concentration is so weak.

Those that have to go in to a special unit/class/school, those that are so impacted they will never be independent and will always need support. We all have our struggles and weakness but some struggle significantly more than others. Some children with ASD can’t speak or communicate yet an adult can live an independent life, as described above, and they still have the same diagnosis.

On the one hand I think it’s good that ND is being discussed more and more and it’s normalised, but then I worry that it will dilute the struggles of those who are most severely impacted and will never be independent, hold down a job, run a house or have kids.

Already benefits are getting cut back for those with disabilities. I’m concerned that those who are significantly impacted and need so much support will be told to get on with it and to ‘try harder’, after all how can someone live independently and a normal life, but the next person can’t, if it’s all the same diagnosis?! (I don’t think that but I’m worried people will) So I think there should be different words really, because it’s like saying I’m bleeding with a small cut or having half your finger hanging off, you’re bleeding in both instances but one is significantly worse.

I think it’s good to acknowledge everyone who have difficulties but the ‘umbrella term’ in my opinion helps no one.

Shit therapist then

If the partner was completely unaware of why it was happening though how could they take steps to address it? It isn’t a choice

My concern is that it's taking resources away from the people who are severely affected.

And don't get me started on activists who are trying to get treatment taken away from people with autism because it doesn't fit with their ideology.

No privately

And you know this because…?

@reversegear I imagine that most people referred to an oncologist following a biopsy have cancer, and most people referred to a physio by their GP have muscular or skeletal pain. And most people referred to speech therapy have an issue with their speech. And so on.

Does anyone ever go for a diagnosis and get told they don’t have it?

Yes on the NHS, occasionally

No privately

Does anyone ever go for a diagnosis and get told they don’t have it? I got told by my therapist that I was amazing at coping and managing my ADHD which was as surprise to me as I’m not diagnosed!

I was very surprised when DH got an adult autism diagnosis. It is interesting to hear that for many of you, your partners were already well ahead ☺️.

Exactly

This is abusive. Your partner to “explode” at you is unacceptable

I was diagnosed at 33, which was a decade ago.

My two best friends are therapists and were not surprised at all.

My mom has been odd about it off and on. I think with her it’s guilt, or something? Years ago (I was probably about 11 or 12) my teacher at the time suggested I be tested because “there’s something really wrong here.” She nearly had his job over that, or at least tried.

That teacher was a blunt guy, former Marine and all that, and I’m sure he could have said it more kindly. But in the years since I’ve realized that he really did care about me and was trying to help. My mother, though, will still occasionally talk about what an awful man he was, and also diminish my diagnosis.

I think if she really had to think about all those years I was struggling and not just “lazy” or “unmotivated”, and consider all I’ve accomplished in the last (medicated) decade, she’d feel bad. So she just doesn’t.