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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think ‘easily led’ is the opposite of ‘selfish?’

28 replies

MatthewL · 10/06/2025 11:03

When I was a teen my mum called me selfish for liking my own company.

This turned me into a people pleaser with devastating consequences - serious, traumatic bullying etc.

When the bullies got me into serious trouble my mum said I was ‘easily led’. But I’d only become that way because I was terrified of the label ‘selfish’.

AIBU to think that ‘easily led’ is the opposite of ‘selfish?’

The former suggests you ‘go along’ with people too much and don’t show appropriate judgement. The latter suggests you don’t ’go along’ with people enough, iyswim.

OP posts:
mrschocolatte · 10/06/2025 11:08

The opposite of selfish behaviour would be unselfish behaviour. What you have described is not behaviour I would ascribe to someone being unselfish.

Eggplanting · 10/06/2025 11:06

Assuming you’re no longer a teenager, I’d suggest taking responsibility for your own choices.

YellowBun · 10/06/2025 11:04

Everything that’s happened to you is your mums fault, is it?

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