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Original poster

Partner does not want another baby but I do

203 replies

Septmum2023 · 10/06/2025 10:41

My partner (33m) and I (32f) have been together almost 6 years and we had our DS in Sept 2023. We always said we wanted 2 children and decided we would start trying for baby no2 this month. He told me yesterday he has changed his mind and only wants one now.

I am completely devastated as I always imagined myself with 2 and I want my son to have a sibling. I feel like I've been blindsided as he is telling me so late.

His reasons are: having less time, being more stressed, money and just not looking forward to having another.

He has now said, its a never say never, but equally, cant see himself changing his mind. I don't want to split up our family as I love it so much but I worry if it does not happen I will struggle to get past it.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
Septmum2023 · 10/06/2025 10:52

JacquesHarlow · 10/06/2025 10:45

I don't want to split up our family as I love it so much but I worry if it does not happen I will struggle to get past it.

Just putting more pressure on him is only going to lead to one outcome @Septmum2023 . Do you actually accept that you may need to take a nuanced approach, or do you just expect him to state his commitment to you each month like it's a renewable covenant or contract?

YABU.

I'm not sure what you mean..
I am not asking him to keep stating his commitment to me. But we have built our family on the assumption that we both want the same thing and I am finding it difficult to navigate this situation.

OP posts:
JacquesHarlow · 10/06/2025 10:45

I don't want to split up our family as I love it so much but I worry if it does not happen I will struggle to get past it.

Just putting more pressure on him is only going to lead to one outcome @Septmum2023 . Do you actually accept that you may need to take a nuanced approach, or do you just expect him to state his commitment to you each month like it's a renewable covenant or contract?

YABU.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 10/06/2025 10:44

He is entitled to change his mind, I'm afraid.

You now have the choice to accept and respect his decision, or to decide that you can't accept it and walk away from the relationship. Not an easy decision, I'm sure, but if he doesn't want another child, then you don't really have any other options.

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