Baby Vaccines

Pull your socks up, wipe your nose... move on.

Would she know your line of work? Just wondering if she was a bit sharper with you because she expected more of “colleague” approach rather than the usual “professional to patient” approach.

It sounds like you’re having a really difficult time with your baby, lack of sleep is horrible and really affects emotions. Have you had reflux looked into? My baby (11 weeks) got a bit like yours v briefly but was prescribed Infant Gaviscon and it really changed things around, straight away.

I would have apologised for being late, and I’d have apologised for forgetting the book.

I probably wouldn’t have taken the comment about failing too personally to be honest, I’d have thought it was more of a jokey comment.

The red book is used to track the baby’s development, some areas do use it on an electronic system but I find the book quite an outdated system, very easy to lose or misplace. The book came out years ago so was seen as an easy way to record information before laptops and ipads were accessible like today. But if you lose it it’s not the end of the world due to everything already being recorded when the baby visits the nurse for vaccinations. Waste of money and effort if you ask me.

Her comment was flippant and not very professional. But you being late with very little excuse other than poor time management (you weren't caught in traffic and your car didn't break down) is not really acceptable and not apologising for it is just plain rude. You work in care and should know that. What if very was 'just' five minutes late because they didn't get their act together.
Had you showed up on time and forgotten the book, it would have been less of an issue. But you had already hacked her off by not sticking to your time.

Why have you posted this twice?

what a nasty post. So the nurse is entitled to make a comment like this to a tearful mum but it’s ok because as a nurse she has a hard job to do!

having nurses in my family I know how hard they have to work, but no need for such a comment, people do forget things, ok someone may have to make up the red book but a nurse dealing with babies should be well aware how tough it is for mothers, not make comments and in this case appears not to have apologised for upsetting the op

Op I do think changing doctors is an over reaction, just make sure you don’t see that nurse again when your book appointments

No I haven’t worked for NHS and it still makes zero sense now you’ve explained it. Why the red book then…just for health visitors? Do they not have laptops or iPads then? The whole system is archaic

That's what you got from the comment...
You were late, emotional, tired and had forget the book then also rude to her, thanking her for pointing it out then asked for another nurse. This is what you said. Seems like you were the problem. Blaming it on sexism then trying to get her in trouble for having a cup which is not against IPC. Then wondering if you should deregister...come on it's a lot of overreacting here. As a nurse you should know we cant always cater for people who are late, DNA costs millions each year on the NHS, then you end up running late for the next patient. Take a breath and calm down. You were having a bad day and aimed it at the wrong person, I'm sure you have had that yourself. It's not a big deal, Move on

Yes it sounds like she was a bit unpleasant and lacking in empathy for a new mom. I also can’t stand the nurse doing my babies injections and it’s really just she gives super bad vibes when you have your tiny baby getting upset. However, the needles go in and it’s done so I would move on and not waste your time. What she did isn’t worth her getting fired - it just sucked a bit.

I forgot the Red Book and the nurse said "I'm amazed when anyone remembers."

I'm a healthcare professional and I'd never speak to a patient like the one you saw today.

Hope you're ok

I'm sorry she said that!

Bad wording but I would not de-register your baby or yourself from the surgery and I would cut the nurse some slack. It was just a silly, unpleasant comment.

Well it is rude to be late and not say sorry. You do realise how busy most practices are don't you? They have thousands of patients to treat so you can't be showing up late, even if you are a mum. If you are more than five mins late in my place then they cancel you. As op is a nurse she should have known this, yes mistakes happen but blaming the nurse for her own lateness and forgetting the book is her own doing. Seems rather petty to try and get the nurse in trouble because of her doing.

I don't think it's a sexist comment, but I do agree it's an awful thing to say. I would give it a few days and see how you feel, if you still feel like complaining then do so. I forgot my red book and they said pop in with it anytime or bring it next time, no big deal! X

that was an inappropriate comments. Esp at that stage where so many people are struggling.

I forgot my daughter's red book for her three year jabs. Was so organised and planned every details but just forgot that. you know what they said "that's fine. We have it on the records so if you want to bring it in sometime we will complete it for you or you can just write in the name and dates yourself if you want".

That's it. no guilt. Accidents happen, people forget things. life happens. the way she behaved was awful

Fuck that nurse and the stupid red book. What an awful comment to make to a vulnerable Mum. She doesn’t need an apology for you being late and should’ve checked in that you are ok.
I had so much trauma from HV, vaccines and the clinics and only now 22 years in I can look back and think I should’ve told them to ram it.
Take no notice, I bet you’re a top Mum.

it is documented on a computer system, that is how HCP communicate the patients notes, the red book is mainly for the health vistor when they visit the parents, but every vaccine has to be recorded electronically as it is seen as legal doucmentation, for example they have to put the expiary date and batch number. I guess you have no experience working for the nhs by these comments...

Oh OP. I had a baby who didn’t let me get washed or dressed or fed and it is so hard. I had a disaster taking DD for her first vaccinations. The second I got there I realised I’d forgotten to pack the bottles of expressed breastmilk I’d spent ages pumping and prepping beforehand so immediately panicked and then I misunderstood the instructions at reception so sat in the wrong waiting room. I assumed they were just running behind and didn’t want to leave the waiting room to go back to reception to check in case the nurse called me up. By the time I did chase them up I’d missed both the vaccine appointment and the check up with the GP booked for after. Luckily they sorted it out in the end and the nurse didn’t go as far as telling me I’d failed but I did get a look.

I said never again and for all other important appointments in the first year, vaccines, health visitors, nursery trials etc, DH took time away from work and came with us. That way we’d get there on time with everyone washed, dressed and fed and all the paperwork we need. I don’t know if that’s something you can consider for next time?

Hope you get to a point where you can enjoy a cup of tea soon.

The fact we have to bring in a bloody book with us is ridiculous in 2025. Why can’t these things just be put on computer system?! It’s outrageous how medical notes in the NHS don’t communicate or correspond with other departments.

That woman was a cow, and you didn’t deserve that.

Sounds like she was probably trying to make a joke but it came out as super patronising and she genuinely didn’t anticipate your reaction so went on the defensive and challenged you about your timekeeping. Not the best from her but you are knackered and in the trenches so it will have hit way harder than it would at any other point in your life.
Some of the most awkward, patronising conversations I’ve ever had were with healthcare professionals during the first year of my child’s life so I do tend to believe posters who post about this sort of thing!

YANBU, that comment was out of order and spiteful. I also forgot my baby's red book at her last round of vaccines and they were really nice about it and said it doesn't matter at all since it's all recorded in her medical records anyway. Saying you'd failed for a minor oversight when you're in the thick of caring for a newborn is so mean and unnecessary.

@MrsBlob that’s appalling! She sounds awful. I probably wouldn’t complain about the tea but I would about her comments. However, I wonder if that process would simply make you feel more aggrieved, as who knows whether the practice manager would do anything, in my experience they are often pretty rubbish.

I cannot believe any posters would try and excuse her behaviour! Even if she was having the worst day ever, it’s her job to not be an absolute dick to patients and especially mums with young children.

FWIW I often forgot the red book and I like to think I’m pretty successful in life generally! Hope you’re ok OP.