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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dh’s mum slapped ds

111 replies

eeleeee · 10/06/2025 10:00

Ds is 3, he screamed in frustration about something, never normally does so this was unlike him. Dh mum was next to him and almost like an instinct slapped him on his back to tell him off for the scream.

I was so taken aback but it’s been really bothering me. mainly angry at myself for not saying anything. I was in shock, and my main focus was consoling my son but I feel like I betrayed him almost by staying quiet.

she didn’t apologise or discuss it

I guess AIBU in the sense of, it was like a sort of knee jerk whack to say stop screaming, or am I right in feeling angry about it

OP posts:
wobblybrain · 10/06/2025 10:30

Bizarre that you said nothing. I would have gathered up my things and left, whilst making it very clear she would never see my child again. You didn’t even discuss it? I mean you say she didn’t discuss it but you were there, you had the choice to make this a conversation and didn’t do anything.

millymoo1202 · 10/06/2025 10:29

You didn’t say anything? He’s 3 for goodness sake if you aren’t going to speak up who is ?

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 10/06/2025 10:29

Woah not ok.
You need to speak to her and never leave them alone together. If someone hit my child they would be totally blocked.

Endofyear · 10/06/2025 10:27

I think it's bizarre that you didn't say anything at the time 😳 I would definitely speak to her and tell her that she must never hit your child again.

whynotmereally · 10/06/2025 10:27

Talk to your Dh hopefully you are on the same team. Go to mil and explain you don’t hit and she must not hit ds either. I’d avoid letting her babysit until he’s a bit older

Hoardasurass · 10/06/2025 10:09

It's not to late to talk to her about this and make it clear that if she ever raises a hand to your child again she will never be allowed to see him again. Be firm with her about it and speak to your partner.
Also don't let her see him without you as if she's willing to do this infront of you what would she do unsupervised

Yogabearmous · 10/06/2025 10:09

Well you can speak up now and remind her never to do this again or you’ll stop her seeing him. A child should never be hit like that. Awful.

yestothat · 10/06/2025 10:06

I guess it depends how hard, did the slap make a noise or cause him pain? Or was it just tap?

my mil has done this thing where she firmly taps them with an open hand and then points at them if they’re being naughty. It’s not my favourite but it doesn’t hurt them just gets their attention and I don’t think it’s causing them any damage

Ellie1015 · 10/06/2025 10:02

Slapped hard? Or a nudge? I wouldn't do either, but one is unforgivable and the other is not great.

Jawclicked · 10/06/2025 10:01

Did your dh see this?

Jawclicked · 10/06/2025 10:01

That was in front of you

wonder what she does on “instinct” when alone

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