To think Yr2 teacher has it in for my girl??

YABÙ
This behaviour is quite disruptive in the classroom. You need to tell her it's not acceptable or she will continue to do this. She may not be a bad kid but it can annoying for others in the classroom.

My daughter always gets sat by these sorts of low level disruptors and hates it, really struggles with the constant distraction.

The thing is? My DD would be one for singing/humming etc while she's working. But she's learned to resist those impulses while everyone's working, and sing at appropriate times - assemblies, the playground, at home. Its not fair on everyone else doing it in class.

Either encourage your DD to try not to or if she really struggles, hear what the teacher is saying, pop in for a chat, talk about support/assessing for SEN etc.

Absolutely true. I wouldnt believe she's the only six year old who does this. And exactly, talk to the teacher, ask her for advice, tell her if your dd does this at home ie humming etc under breath when engrossed. Always a good idea to develop a good relationship with teacher.

This. And at six she has been in school long enough to know how she is supposed to behave in class.

Teachers don’t generally enjoy raising issues like this, and only do so when it’s necessary. If she’s talking and not listening and singing in class when she’s meant to be working, do you not think as a parent you should be informed? It sounds like your daughter is quite disruptive in class.
Also these other parents who say their kids do much worse but nothing gets said to them…well how do they know? How do they know their child is misbehaving in class if no one is telling them? Or is it that their year 2 child is going home and bragging to them about how naughty they’ve been that day?

I love " I fill in the reading log when I remember!"
How often do you remember?

Your kid is being disruptive and you sound like you're being really antagonistic.

Intelligence has nothing to with it- plenty of clever kids aren’t disruptive. “Lively” or badly behaved?

Imagine trying to teach a class of 32 kids not listening and singing under their breath. Tricky huh? So none of the kids should be doing it. She’s nearly in ks2. Work with the teachers fgs, they have a really hard job and are actually trying to help your kid learn.

What’s your point? My son is autistic and has never hit anyone. He’s not disruptive in school at all. He’s often distracted by other, less well behaved and (as far as I know) neurotypical children though.

I hope the teacher isn't pulling up your daughter on her low level disruptions whilst allowing little Johnny to swear and hit people because, you know, he's "neurodiverse".

Yabu. 30 children singing under their breath whilst working. Your child has been at school for a few years and knows how to behave. Work with the school here

Also, what does you having 5 kids and your DD being dressed, fed etc have to do with it? That isn’t relevant here at all, and has nothing to do with her behaviour.

OP, I’m a teacher, and you have to bear in mind that we often have 30 children in a class. Can you imagine if all 30 were singing under their breath when they shouldn’t be? It would be very hard to concentrate.
You need to speak to your DD at home and tell her she needs to stop doing that, especially if all 3 notes were about singing. Tell her to save singing for music and assemblies!

OP, it sounds as though you don’t understand what the school are actually saying and why it is important. There are thirty children in that room, and it needs to be an environment where they can ALL learn. So it matters that they learn not to distract and disrupt other children. It’s not about having a go at your child or your parenting. It’s about setting principles in place now so that her behaviour will be appropriate for school going forward.

So you need to listen, talk to your daughter about the issues the school have mentioned and help her do better. You also need to reassure her that she’s doing great in all the other ways. And you need to recognise that this is not a personal attack on either of you.

Yes, sorry, read while multitasking. 💐

She might have attention differences/difficulties (e.gm ADHD/AuDHD). I'm sure she's a nice kid. Don't think of it as the teacher taking against her, or you, as you won't get anywhere.You need a strategy to help her (not necessarily assessment/diagnosis but could be if she really can't help it) so minor behaviours don't become what she is known for at school and ends up with a vicious cycle.

Slightly aghast that your school mum friends happily told you their kids behaved much worse in class. Poor teacher. No wonder nobody wants to be one.

People have all kinds of habits. I worked with a man who constantly jiggled his right knee up and down when he was concentrating. We all variously made him aware (he did it so vigorously that my desk shook!) He was mortified it disrupted others (he didn't realise he was doing it) but was never able to stop himself.

Nobody here will know if the teacher has an irrational dislike for your dd but I understand why a teacher wants to be stern in a country where many think that behaviour in school is awful. Humming under the breath is the sort of thing that she can control rather than the children with bigger issues who are in mainstream because there’s no special school places.

Humming under her breath while doing stuff at home is fine but it can annoy others eg the neurodivergent kids in the class who end up thinking about her song than doing their work. I don’t think that she’s doing it on purpose but for every person who concentrates better with background noise like your dd, there’s another who becomes distracted. She can sing loudly in the playground, singing assembly and during music, plays and other “noisy” times.

You have 5 kids - haven’t you noticed that school is about creating “robots” and not about the individual? You need to home ed to create a personalised experience.

6 weeks to go until the summer holidays. If the year 3 teacher is more like this teacher then she will have done your dd a favour trying to stop the humming now rather than later. Behaviour expectations are doing work in silence in preparation for exams like year 6 SATS and more because that’s the purpose of schools in 2025.

No she won’t have it in for a six year old. She’d like to do her job and teach and your child is being disruptive. She’s sending the notes hope to let you know so you can support better behaviour for your child. I would be very cross with my child if they got several notes for bad behaviour home!

If you think your child can’t behave due to a specific reason then you need to discuss with teacher and SENCo about a support plan. If it’s just disruption then your child needs to behave better.

On average children lose 3 years of education because of time wasted on disruptive behaviour. That is quite frustrating for children who want to learn and achieve their potential.

Um, yes - that's what I've said...

Just cos I’m not at the gate every morning all done up doesn’t mean she’s neglected.

Has anyone suggested she is neglected or is this just something you're worried they may be thinking?

This

YABU to think the teacher even has headspace to pick on a child because of the way their mother looks.

First of all, hats off to you for being a single mum of five and just achieving that! That is beyond impressive!

With regards to your DD, lots of good points already made - it's only what, 8 weeks to go till the end of her time with this teacher so not forever, however, we can all do the rose-tinted spectacles thing with our DC so it's good to take a step back and see if there is any validity to what is coming up in these notes. Could you meet with the HT rather than the class teacher with that as a main question " is this fair, is this reasonable, is this accurate or is it targeted?" It's important to know so that you can address how she moves forwards into Yr 3.

And as for the school gate stuff. I think, respectfully, you are mixing two things here - you may feel judged because of your situation and link that to any negativity from the school about your DC's behaviour but they aren't linked. And as long as you, and the kids are clean and tidy every day f*ck anyone's 'judgement' or side eyeing - hold your head up high and carry on achieving! 👍🏻👏🏻