Sex education for 9-10 year olds

We had living and growing back in the 90s at that age.

YABVU

We have had age appeoprpate books in the house for years about this. Really shouldn't be a big deal teaching FACTS

My DD had perfectly appropriate sex ed at school at this age nearly 10 years ago.
They need to know this before high school.

I remember a pair of siblings being removed from the PSHE lesson (circa 2006) and the shite we told them afterwards!
Honestly, it's better heard from an actual teacher who can then answer questions appropriately than 20 10-year-olds a few hours later

Is that the same video where there's a family who just happen to walk around their house naked doing their normal morning routine and you get the parents' genitals described to you? Or did we get the all-new updated version? We watched it in year 6 but then got shown it again at secondary school and were all spectacularly unimpressed the second time.

I think it's entirely appropriate, for reasons mentioned by various posters. It's not like they're going to rush out and want sex afterwards, frankly most younger kids think 'Urgh, gross!' (I thought that until I was about 21😅) but it's really nothing to worry about.

These days must've started 30 years ago - we definitely covered this stuff at primary school in the early 90s.

yep - my niece is just turned 11 and actually thinks you have an egg inside you that cracks open and that's where the blood comes from for periods - she has no idea about how babies come out just knows that "the doctor helps" (!)
My 5 year old knows more than she does LOL

We watched that mid 80’s !!!

It’s biology and you’re being ridiculous

They are biological facts that are important to know and will be taught in a sensitive, age appropriate way. At 9 I would have thought that you had already told her some of the facts. In my opinion it is best to answer honestly, omitting or including certain details depending on the age of the child. And gradually in bits and pieces rather than an overwhelming heap of information. My DD is in year 6 and started her periods a few months ago and a few other girls in the class have also started. They need to know how their own body works before it happens.

Sex Ed was taught in the early 90s at primary school. I remember a VHS tape, that looked like it was filmed in the 70s, of adult men and women at a nudist beach playing tennis, before the camera zoomed in on their genitalia and then started talking about reproduction and a cross section of the male and female body. It's not new OP. Honestly, as others have said, best to get the info in a controlled environment where they can ask questions of trusted adults than playground banter or a kid with unrestricted internet access showing pornhub around.

If you want to pre empt it maybe talk to your daughter first.

It baffles me when people say things like we tell kids too soon these days. I'm 40 and knew about all that before I got to secondary school.

This is so true - my Auntie came from a strict Catholic family where nothing was discussed. When she started her periods she thought she was bleeding to death and was terrified 😢 I don't have daughters but my sons knew what periods were from an early age.

They absolutely need to know how reproduction works at that age. Many kids start puberty then. Some of her classmates will be starting their periods. Of course it's not inappropriate.

Shielding your child from reality when she's nearing secondary age is not going to help her in any shape or form.

OP there is nothing shameful about talking about sex. It's just a part of life. I'm sure my children asked about how babies are made around this age and I just told them the basic facts. They weren't traumatised by it and it didn't take their innocence away. Much better that they learn it in school than inaccurate playground chatter. Have you talked to your daughter about periods? That's a good place to start.

There’s no way she’d get to secondary school without finding out what sex is. Would you rather she found out (probably less than reliable) information from kids at school or learnt proper, accurate facts from a trusted adult? By trying to keep it a secret from her or being uptight about it you’re turning it into something negative and scary, when she should be learning it’s something natural, not some big secret to be afraid of.

An 11 year old freaked out because “there’s blood coming out of my bum” and nobody had ever talked to her about periods. With no education, she was scared and horrified at her own body.

I think parents who do not prepare their daughters are abusive! It's shameful this still happens in 2025.

We even tell the boys about periods! They need to know, they need to be respectful - and if needed helpful if their friend suddenly has her periods.

It starts from age 9 - occasionally younger.

Get a decent, age appropriate book and read it with her. Page by page taking it as slow as she wants.
I did this with my girls and it was actually a nice experience for us... they also really thought about things and came back to me with interesting questions.
Not scary, not taking away their innocence.

What’s inappropriate about a 9 year old girl, who will soon be going through puberty and all that entails, knowing about biology? It’s entirely appropriate.

I got taken out of sex ed by my mother at that age- it was so embarrassing, and my friends told me - in detail- what happened in the video anyway. Me and my sis were the only two in two full year groups who got removed from the class. I know it seems young but please don’t remove them as it opens them up to possible ostracising bullying etc.

i got my first period at 9 and I only knew what was happening because my friend started hers the week before.

As everyone has already said, proper sex education is so important and is not inappropriate just uncomfortable to talk about.

My mother had ‘the talk’ with me many times, starting around 5 or 6 and used it to talk about other things like puberty, sexuality, avoiding abuse and eventually things like online safety and peer pressure. I was always the informed child, when I started my period early (8) I knew what was happening and didn’t panic, never felt the need to ‘come out’ because not being straight was just normal to me. I was also able to report the abuse a classmate described to me when I was 10. Was honestly her best move as a parent, explaining everything in an age appropriate age BEFORE I heard about it on the playground or experienced it myself.

Teaching this in Y5 is more about safeguarding than anything else. It is literally to keep your child safe.
Be grateful that the school is doing some of the heavy lifting for you here, and all you need to do is the follow up questions etc!!

Two examples of how children’s brains work:

A set of siblings came to me saying that the youngest would have blood soon because her underarms were stinky. It took a while to unpick because they’d be talking about it themselves and making connections and throwing in the odd bit of ‘knowledge’ that they’d made up. In lieu of facts and education, they started confusion and upset.

An 11 year old freaked out because “there’s blood coming out of my bum” and nobody had ever talked to her about periods. With no education, she was scared and horrified at her own body.

Children learn about the reproductive cycles of plants in year 3 and no eyebrows are raised. Reproduction is a biological function and it is necessary to understand - especially when children are so good at taking half-truths and making up the rest. It’s best to have scientific facts from actual teachers, believe me.

You'd have kittens if your school was in a farming community! Where I work most know before they start school. My school is full of farm kids and so when kids come in telling me they slaughtered their bull the day before because he was 'firing blanks' and is now burgers you have to laugh! It is a fact of life for kids in the community to learn how baby animals are made.

Don't confuse innocence with ignorance.

She will still be just as innocent armed with the facts.