51 and so very tired from working - but I have another 15 years to go yet

I use ChatGPT to do most of my work for me, and I use the spare time to do housework, exercise or just chill. Minimum effort, because I became so burnt out I couldn’t breathe. No one notices and no one cares how the job is done as long as it’s done.

Unless you are paid to be on call

Turn your phone & emails off at the end of your working day

Do stuff at home or go out & do hobbies after work

And all the 'bring your whole self to work' BS. Would be a very interesting workplace if all the women on this thread actually did that !

Senior managers have started saying 'let's get the parish news' done first at the start of meetings, to explain general updates. Makes me cringe.

I think work has changed so much since Covid too, so much more corporate BS and too much pandering to 'feelings' instead of strong leadership to get the bloody work done.

It is probably more you being someone who is in the sandwich generation and with a child who will need more support than usual for life. The stress caring means you are already burning out.

My MIL current illness has hindered my life, deep down I’m a bit resentful as it has totally changed our plans. I think that’s the internal conundrum that many would never admit about caring responsibilities.

What’s your partner like at the shared workload?

OP, when I feel like this I look at how I can boost my self care.

Early nights, good food, a daily walk, gratitude journal...these will all help boost your energy. Hugs, keep going ❤️

I have a friend the same, effortlessly brilliant. Her career, house, kids, all pristine. I asked her how she does it? She says she’s so close to the edge at all times, she’s waiting to fall.

I was just thinking the same, yesterday.
I like my job, it’s enjoyable, flexible.

But I just want it to go away for now.
I think it’s tech. I’m always on, always!

Years ago, you’d leave the office 5pm
And that was it. I feel owned by work now.

Perhaps look at it a different way ?

You have not been made redundant
So you still have a good job, so keep this going

Find some new hobbies that excite you
Make your home life more exciting !

Take some vitamin tablets
Look at your diet
Sleep better

Take some exciting holidays

Menopause sucks !

Sell your house, downsize, resign. As a pp has said, you sound like you’re heading towards burnout. This happened to a friend of mine and she went from being effortlessly brilliant to a bag of cats in the space of a fortnight - it was scary.

I work in the nhs. Lots and lots of managers are this age, and female.

I know how you feel. Same age here. I’m fortunate that my mortgage is paid off though. I’m hoping to give up at 55/56 but my dh is older so has his pension kicking in in 6 years time anyway, he’s retired on savings now as he simply couldn’t work any longer, mentally the job was killing him.

I’ve done the maths and we can live on £30k, that’s what we have spent so once state pensions eventually kick in we need £10k from private pots which isn’t an issue meaning we can draw down ahead of state retirement

Does your employer have an EAP scheme?
could offer help or solutions - ours can offer 6 counselling sesstions.

If not, why not look for an employment coach if you can afford it, or your local council may have something on offer. (or local charities)
An employment coach might help you arrive at coaching strategies for your current role, or explore alternative employment.

The idea of ploughing on in a primary school until 67 is warping. It's another 17 years for me of physically demanding, 100% engaged work which literally never lets up or has 'quiet days'.

Short term solutions are:

Sabbatical - my friends have successfully negotiated this
Extended leave to get your energy back
A very long holiday
Signed off by GP for short break
Part time

Long term:

A meaningful downsize
A complete lifestyle change
Move to a much cheaper area
New job

Your next issue will be total burn out, it sounds like you are almost there already. Then you won’t have any control over how this is managed as you will be incapacitated.

Here is link

https://www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

If you are 51 your state pension age will be 67 or 68

Suggest get a state pension forecast & it will confirm your state retirement age

I made a big career change in my mid-40s, and am still working at nearly 70. I'm lucky enough to be doing work that I love though, which makes a huge difference.

I'm retiring at the end of September.

It may be worth visiting your GP. I felt like this, exhausted all the time, absolutely no energy, and it turned out that I had hypothyroidism after a blood test. Have a look at the symptoms on the NHS.

Get a line from your Doctor to give yourself a break.

What's wrong with just taking annual leave, ffs?

It gets hard to tolerate the nonsense doesn’t it? I have slightly ‘quiet quit’ but in reality I am good at my job and have seen it all before and it’s just easy to perform at the same level as the youngsters.
I have stopped trying so hard. After decades of working it will now be my own manager’s problem if my performance isn’t up to scratch. I think she’ll go after the two useless men I work with first though so I’ll just plod on with the pointless endless meetings and emails.
I have to either work to 63 or downsize and move away. Slightly complicated by my three young adults still living with me as they can’t afford to move out!
There is NO WAY my own mum would have been faffing about with Goals and Performance figures in her early 60s. She was watching daytime TV and helping with grandchildren.
Solidarity. If the government wants us to wait until 67 for our pensions the world will have to deal with tired middle aged men and women who don’t care any more.

Can you afford to drop a day, or leave and get a part time job in different industry?

Younger than you yet still totally relate.

Bizarrely my current family tree researching fad has made me feel slightly better as my ancestors appear to have been very poor but also surprisingly long living, so I’m pleased at least I won’t still be working as a bricklayer at 72 before ending up in (and dying) in the workhouse, presumably as became too old to work and therefore had no money 😔

Are you menopausal op? It’s just I started to get like this and things improved after going on HRT. I’m 58 now and off all that and know my work malaise is just me limping towards the finish line now.

50 and I've been going through this, almost total despair about work, for a fair few years now. If the strategy gets any more refreshed it's going to blow peoples nostril hair out (the tweaks are so imperceptible they need explaining in many many video calls, meetings, spreadsheets, processes emails etc etc blah blah blah - and we still don't really understand any of it because it's b'-cough-shit ).
In all honesty we are doing almost EXACTLY the same work as we were 25 years ago but don't tell the ones who think they invented it all yesterday.

Ride the (fleeting) waves, coast the (many) troughs.