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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she lied and actually went?

89 replies

Summersparkles123 · 10/06/2025 07:36

My friend/work colleague was off sick yesterday. However we were suppose to be going to a concert early evening. I told her I couldn't go due to a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel there. She was fine about it and said she would sell our tickets. I said I was happy to sell it cheaper if she wanted to go with someone else. She said no and said she could only get max. 100 for them. I looked on resell sights and said oh they are going for more though.
Anyway she said she sold them for 100. I had doubts she was telling the truth anyway.
Then yesterday she wasn't at work. I totally forgot about the concert but just realised she probably went. I know people may say she was actually ill. I know what she's like and I highly doubt that.
I'm not annoyed she went, I'm more annoyed she lied to me. I'm also annoyed that she made out she could only get 100 for it the ticket when I know she could have got more on a resell sight. She also hasn't paid me the money for my ticket yet.
Lesson learnt not to trust her anymore.

OP posts:
IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 10/06/2025 10:03

somejust · 10/06/2025 08:28

So odd you paid but she had the tickets. So you paid and then transferred them to her? Both of them?

Also, just because they are listed on resale sites as for more, doesn't mean they necessarily go for that much.

Also, you have 'doubts' she was telling the truth, but now you are annoyed and not trusting her - on a hunch.

I dunno. Either this is a reverse or actually, you could have worked a bit harder on your OP. Disappointing.

How is it odd that OP paid for her ticket but her friend had them?

I've got it booked to go to a concert later in the year with a friend. She booked and paid for them, I transferred her the money for my ticket. So she has them but I've paid for mine.

Livelovebehappy · 10/06/2025 09:50

Sauvin · 10/06/2025 08:10

Once you dropped out, you lost the money you’d spent on the ticket. Anything you get back now is a bonus.

Not really. OP could have taken the ticket she had paid for and sold it/binned it/give it away or whatever she wanted to do with it. She paid for it so it's her property.

MoominMai · 10/06/2025 09:42

@Summersparkles123 This happened to me also for a comedy concert and I gave a few weeks notice to friend and the ticket for free also. It would never occur to me to expect reimbursement for that ticket. That’s sort of making the whole situation even worse!

ClairDeLaLune · 10/06/2025 09:38

The correct thing for you to have done imo is given her the choice of you selling both tickets or you letting her have your ticket to give to a friend. Whether or not that friend offered you money for it would have been up to that friend. With both these options your friend is then no worse off from you pulling out.

It looks like your friend sold your ticket to her own friend for £50 and decided to lie about it for whatever reason. I don’t really think the friend covered herself in glory, but she was probably miffed that you pulled out.

On balance, both of you are a bit in the wrong.

SheridansPortSalut · 10/06/2025 09:36

Of course she went. She bought a ticket. Why wouldn't she go?

chattychatchatty · 10/06/2025 09:30

You don’t even know whether she went or not??
Was it just the two of you going - so by you not going, you’ve effectively spoiled her night?

Grammarnut · 10/06/2025 09:26

You let your friend down re concert and you are the injured party? Why didn't you sell the ticket yourself - it's you who didn't want it.

Zippidydoodah · 10/06/2025 09:18

L00pyLou · 10/06/2025 08:47

The two aren't mutually exclusive!😄

@Summersparkles123 chase her for monies owed & then move on. Your feeling that she went is probably correct but no point in stirring things up.

Nothing is owed.

MJQs · 10/06/2025 09:17

Yes she went

No you won't get your money

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 10/06/2025 09:16

Summersparkles123 · 10/06/2025 08:08

I had an accident which i couldn't help so it's not like I purposely couldn't go. I gave a month's notice. She had the tickets and I did offer to sell them but she said no its fine. I haven't seen any evidence that she listed them or sold them. She told me the day after I told her that she had sold them

Well… it sounds like she still wanted to go to the concert. And why wouldn’t she?

should she have told you the truth? Yes.

but you definitely shouldn’t have “offered” to sell the tickets. You should have asked her whether she still wanted to go. Your priority should have been to make sure to at you don’t spoil the concert for your friend…

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 10/06/2025 09:14

Sauvin · 10/06/2025 08:10

Once you dropped out, you lost the money you’d spent on the ticket. Anything you get back now is a bonus.

This. She probably still wanted to go and it’s hard to sell just one ticket.

If I couldn’t go at short notice (yes, a month is short notice), I’d be happy getting any kind of money back.

Was the accident physical, ie a broken leg which meant you couldn’t go physically?

AutumnLover1989 · 10/06/2025 09:11

So you couldn't go because of an unexpected bill or an accident? Which is it? 🤦‍♂️🙄

And you're accusing HER of not being truthful about whether she went to the gig or not? Wow🙄

Imbusytodaysorry · 10/06/2025 09:11

@Summersparkles123 If she sold you ticket I’d be expecting what she said she sold it for .
As for going without you . Tough luck op . Good for her . Why shouldn’t she.?

OhHellolittleone · 10/06/2025 09:10

whitewineandsun · 10/06/2025 08:15

told her I couldn't go due to a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel there.

I had an accident which i couldn't help so it's not like I purposely couldn't go

Which story is it?

Could be a repair bill for a car accident… that’s what I’d understood

whitewineandsun · 10/06/2025 09:10

Spirallingdownwards · 10/06/2025 08:59

Sure I can but then I can also think of an OP who would say I had to pull out because of unexpected costs due to an accident rather than waiting to change her story when everyone said YABU. Especially when the same OP is wanting the friend to have gone to the effort of attempting to sell tickets at a profit rather than on a legitimate returns site when she could. So there we go

Quite.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 10/06/2025 09:07

Zippidydoodah · 10/06/2025 08:12

So now it’s an accident and not an unexpected bill?

you were unreasonable, op. Just accept it and move on.

Edited

Can the cost of a car accident, for example, not be an unexpected bill. Do you anticipate your accidents

nomas · 10/06/2025 09:01
  1. always get your ticket, never leave it with the buyer
  2. sell your own ticket
tripleginandtonic · 10/06/2025 09:01

You're lucky to get £100. If you wanted to sell your ticket you should have sold it, why out the onus on her. CF.

Spirallingdownwards · 10/06/2025 08:59

L00pyLou · 10/06/2025 08:55

Can you really think of no accidents which result in costs?

Sure I can but then I can also think of an OP who would say I had to pull out because of unexpected costs due to an accident rather than waiting to change her story when everyone said YABU. Especially when the same OP is wanting the friend to have gone to the effort of attempting to sell tickets at a profit rather than on a legitimate returns site when she could. So there we go

WheresthesaladTheresthesalad · 10/06/2025 08:58

CopperWhite · 10/06/2025 07:40

You let her down for the concert, so at that point it’s up to her what she does. She’s not obliged to find you best price for your ticket after you dropped out. Why didn’t you offer to do the selling? In your position I’d have offered to let her have the ticket for nothing so that she could find someone else to take more easily. Be glad she didn’t miss out because you let her down.

First post nails it.

I've had to drop out of a concert a couple of times due to ill health and always offered my ticket for free (or accepted a contribution if they've insisted on offering) to friend's friend so my friend wouldn't miss out too or end up going alone. You are being very unreasonable.

L00pyLou · 10/06/2025 08:55

Spirallingdownwards · 10/06/2025 08:53

In your original post you actually said you had a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel. Now it's an accident ....

Plus you do realise that some of those resell sites where they sell for more than face value the people then often don't get it because they aren't authorised transfers.

Can you really think of no accidents which result in costs?

Spirallingdownwards · 10/06/2025 08:53

Summersparkles123 · 10/06/2025 08:08

I had an accident which i couldn't help so it's not like I purposely couldn't go. I gave a month's notice. She had the tickets and I did offer to sell them but she said no its fine. I haven't seen any evidence that she listed them or sold them. She told me the day after I told her that she had sold them

In your original post you actually said you had a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel. Now it's an accident ....

Plus you do realise that some of those resell sites where they sell for more than face value the people then often don't get it because they aren't authorised transfers.

333FionaG · 10/06/2025 08:49

Surely you can see you're the unreasonable one here?
You gave her one month's notice that you were bailing out.
I hope she took someone else and had a blast.

L00pyLou · 10/06/2025 08:47

whitewineandsun · 10/06/2025 08:15

told her I couldn't go due to a large unexpected cost and couldn't afford the travel there.

I had an accident which i couldn't help so it's not like I purposely couldn't go

Which story is it?

The two aren't mutually exclusive!😄

@Summersparkles123 chase her for monies owed & then move on. Your feeling that she went is probably correct but no point in stirring things up.

Gundogday · 10/06/2025 08:46

To be fair, op did offer to sell her ticket. She wasn’t expecting friend to carry the cost, but friend said she would sell them.