Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

If you have a spare bathroom why don’t you make him a thank you basket in there, as you said he did swap for you.
Get him bum wipes, little sudoku puzzle books, the stuff that makes the loo foam up, the poo gone smelly stuff and a few metal puzzle games.
Honest seeing you care will mean he wants to use that loo, and it can be your in joke.

Why don't you move your stuff into one of the other bathrooms thats not in use and turn it into your own space? Ridiculous to try and dictate where your husband can poo

Why?

My dh is really private about doing his business, so he very rarely goes in the en-suite. Sometimes he goes in the annex outside! I’m the same 😆 We’re not prudish or shy with each other in any other way, just when it comes to number twos.

I don't get the people saying that they hate the smell of poo - as though the rest of us love it.

I presume that none of these people will ever decide to become parents, as the likelihood of having a baby who poos - and who refuses to deal with the aftermath him/herself - is very high indeed.

It's just a part of being an adult human. Our wheelie bin often smells in summer when I open it to chuck a bag in. Petrol stations smell unpleasant when I go to fill up the car. Life isn't all rainbows and lollipops.

When you think of all the people in the world who, at best, have a grotty, tumbledown wooden shack with a hole in the ground that they have to share with the whole village - and fresh running water on demand would be beyond their wildest dreams - and somebody with 4 separate modern plumbed-in sanitary toilet facilities in their own home is squeamish about one of them being used for its intended purpose.

so move your stuff

It's totally reasonable to ask him to use an alternative bathroom, especially given that you've got other options. I sympathise, when I was a child my father used to absolutely stink out the bathroom. He would lock himself in there for 40+ minutes at a time and when he came out it would smell like something had died in there. It used to make me feel sick. You could almost taste it. Absolutely revolting. I thought it was normal, but neither my DH nor my teenage son render a bathroom unusable afterwards. There's barely any smell at all unless they're ill or have eaten something particularly spicy.

@funnypost id be asking the same .
Is he one who doesn’t vent /open a window and sprays the likes of lynx 🤢or does he use toilet cleaner that is beside the toilet then pores extra down befroe leaving the room . As all that makes a difference.

I am very sensitive to smells and other people's farts and poos make me feel sick. I sometimes urge uncontrollably and occasionally vomit if it's really bad. I honestly don't know how medics and care assistants cope with all the vile smells but we're all different aren't we.

I couldn't live with a man who stank out the ensuite when there are other places for him to do it. If he didn't stop, I'd have to move out of that bedroom and I'd take it as a sign of his contempt for me and my feelings.

You're not unreasonable OP. My DH takes his daily dump in the downstairs loo. Nice and considerate.

No one wants to breathe in someone else's poo smells of they don't have to.

Glad yours has complied 😬

Light a scented candle. Poo smells can be gassy. The candle burns off the smell quicker.

Some people are happy to leave the door open when they are on the loo for their partner to "enjoy"

Some are even happy to use the toilets when the other one is in the bath or on another thread, find farting competitions as a couple hilarious.

Each to their own. I don't think exposing every "natural" aspect and all your body functions is doing any good to a relationship personally, but if others find that attractive.

If they only had one, it wouldn't be an ensuite.

However, I really prefer for a toilet to be a separate small room, not just another equipment next to the sink. Having toilet next to the toothbrushes feels gross.

tell him to go dig a hole in the garden & go outside.

Why cant you use a different bathroom? You sound like a real prude!

I agree with you. I personally think ensuites are disgusting because the smell gets into the bedroom whatever you do.

That's the issue with ensuites, they are convenient, but aren't full complete bathrooms, because they are missing features like "keep separation a don't open directly into the bedroom".
It kinda makes sense to treat the toilet there as emergency only and just use them for sink& shower

Bloody hell, it's a toilet. He is using it for it's main function. As a PP said, what would you do if you only had one, like a great many people? Have you always been so uptight?

Let the man shit where he wants in his own home, for God's sake!

Your reading comprehension is poor, absolutely no one has advocated a 3 bathroom house. Like they must buy one.

People have simply said, there are 4 toilets to choose from, it's good manners to choose the one that least impacts others.

It's unfortunate that you find being considerate
so difficult & confusing.

Neither of us are permitted to turd in the en-suite!

My husband goes in the furthest bathroom away to be considerate, I feel like that should be the bare minimum but apparently not.

Nobody else should be exposed to your smells if possible, some men are just gross and inconsiderate and I don’t like men like that.

Get him to do it at the bottom of the garden win win, seriously though we live in a crappie new build with an ' en suite' for en suite read shitter in middle of bedroom😂 so yeah I'd get him to do it in another bathroom, why wouldn't you? Ours doesn't even have a fucking window, so if husband does a stinking jobbie in there it stinks the bedroom up for hours.

Yanbu.

It's actually polite and respectful of each other IMO, to avoid the bedroom ensuite if possible when needing to do a number 2.

Unfortunately on MN the vilest of male behaviour is defended regularly, so no surprise on this thread.

Such an easy thing to do, but some arsehole men will do it anyway.

This is one of the reasons we took our ensuite out. Nobody wants their bedroom to smell of poo. Admittedly ours made the bedroom damp and too small too!

En suite is mine with regards to all the stuff in it and i'm the only one who uses the shower and sink - DH does use toilet now and again but mainly in the night. If he does need to use it other times I go in spray and open the window but it does gross me out when i go in the bedroom and he has took a crap and the whole room stinks. I live with 4 grown men (DH and adult sons) and they all use the main bathroom - I tend to not use it and only go in to clean.

My bedroom and en suite is the only 'me space' I have. I don't think you are being unreasonable - especially if he has to pass other toilets to get to that one

DH has a medical condition that can make his faeces smell awful (makes my eyes water, without exaggeration.) His urine also usually smells quite strong, for the same medical reasons. I also sometimes get diarrhea as an after effect of radiotherapy to my pelvic area. We have one toilet, without a window. We are a family, we love each other, we suck it up. The smell goes away pretty quickly so it’s only a problem if timing means we have to follow each other into the toilet.

OP you are BU, you should use another toilet if you wish.

If your DH were leaving skidmark or making the toilet seat or floor dirty or not flushing that would be different but he can’t really help how his poo smells.