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Am I too much ? Asking DH to do his business in the spare toilet

396 replies

funnypost · 10/06/2025 07:05

This is a funny one. We have 3 and a half bathrooms in our house. 3 upstairs and 1 little bathroom downstairs.

upstairs there are 2 en suites- one off the master bedroom and one off the guest room, plus a family bathroom.

I loathe walking into a bathroom and it being smelly. I just can’t deal with it. It’s gross.

at weekends, DH tends to do his business in the master en suite. But this is where all our stuff is. I hate not being able to go up there or if I really need to, having to breathe in the disgusting smell.

so I’ve asked him, why can’t you just use one of the bathrooms that’s just completely not in use ? Why do you need to use the bathroom that’s most in use by me and also near our bedroom, which also makes the idea of it gross.

I would just never dream of doing it. I try to be discreet and use one of the bathrooms that’s not got all our stuff in.

men just don’t think like this right ? My DH thinks I’m ridiculous but also finds it funny and has complied.

what does everyone think ? Do I sound like I have a stick up my bum ? I just can’t stand it. I’m really funny about it and think all traces should be covered up. DH thinks I’m ridiculous and that it’s a normal thing in life and I’m way too uptight.

OP posts:
Ireallycantthinkofagoodone · 11/06/2025 18:17

Just leave a box of matches in there. Lighting a match immediately burns off the methane, so the smell is eliminated. Much better than using air fresheners, and quicker than just opening the window.

It’s the ‘old fashioned’ way.

Trishyb10 · 11/06/2025 18:16

Precious princess

Hameth · 11/06/2025 18:13

nomas · 10/06/2025 07:09

Yes, he should use the other bathrooms. The bathroom closest to the bedroom should be smell free since you have so many other options.

This. And we both use the lobby toilets for solids, ensuite for liquids when in hotels. The OP should also use a spare toilet, unless blessed with rose scented aromas.

angela1952 · 11/06/2025 18:04

DH and I have agreed that he uses our downstairs loo when possible, he gets up much earlier than I do so it's sensible from the point of view of noise as well as smells

llizzie · 11/06/2025 18:00

funnypost · 10/06/2025 07:08

Yeah but my stuff is in our en suite. I inevitably need to go on there.

Put your stuff in another bathroom and use the ensuite mostly at night.

Get some air freshner.

caringcarer · 11/06/2025 17:50

We have an ensuite and just use it to wee in. Poo goes in main bathroom away from our bedroom. Your DH is being inconsiderate.

Wouldyoubehappy123 · 11/06/2025 16:57

I’m the same as you id ask him to go elsewhere.

InterestedDad37 · 11/06/2025 13:56

funnypost · 10/06/2025 20:31

I know I’m really weird about it. I think I must have been badly pooshamed in my childhood. I have POOTSD.

😂😂👏👏👏😂😂

toomuchfaff · 11/06/2025 13:37

funnypost · 10/06/2025 07:08

Yeah but my stuff is in our en suite. I inevitably need to go on there.

YANBU

You have the facilities that he doesn't have to use a joint bathroom that may be needed by another in a short space of time.

"what happens if you had one" well then obviously it wouldn't be a request, but you have the facilities!

Neither myself or DH use the ensuite to poo.. its not a difficult change to implement, just go to that bathroom not this one.

Thewhywhybird · 11/06/2025 13:36

YABU.

Sahara123 · 11/06/2025 13:33

And for what it’s worth I agree with you OP, a little consideration goes a long way . This is why I’m not a fan of en suites, I hate the smells and noises when I’m trying to enjoy a cup of tea in bed.

Sahara123 · 11/06/2025 13:31

funnypost · 11/06/2025 13:21

No one is going to show any appreciation for my POOTSD comment ??really ? I was so proud !

I did ! I added a love emoji as the laughing one has mysteriously disappeared! I thought it was brilliant

Sahara123 · 11/06/2025 13:30

Spinachpastapicker · 11/06/2025 09:46

Peak Mumsnet - there shouldn’t be a toilet in the …. bathroom 🤣

Yes, where else should they be ?!

funnypost · 11/06/2025 13:21

No one is going to show any appreciation for my POOTSD comment ??really ? I was so proud !

OP posts:
claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 11/06/2025 12:22

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 10/06/2025 19:03

So if you were happily there, having a wee, and then you suddenly realised that you needed an 'upgrade'... would you really finish off in the no-poos toilet, clench, adjust your clothing, wash your hands - and then scuttle away and start all over again in another poos-allowed toilet (assuming there's one vacant)?

Or would you just automatically favour the omnitoilet, knowing that it offers you more options and flexibility?

Honestly, and I don’t know if this makes me the weird one or not, I know if I need a poo or not before I go to the toilet? They don’t really sneak up on me.

Fizbosshoes · 11/06/2025 11:53

I think a toilet in a room on its own doesn't make sense, you surely need a basin to wash your hands after? We had a separate toilet from the bathroom and put a tiny hand basin in it

ObelixtheGaul · 11/06/2025 11:21

HarrietBond · 11/06/2025 09:57

I don't think the practice of locating a lavatory in the main bathroom is entirely confined to the UK.

It isn't. I have relatives living in Italy and they have toilets in bathrooms. I've been in the house of locals in Greece and their toilet was in the bathroom.

On the other hand, I have lived in four different houses in the UK. Only one of them didn't have a toilet separate to the bathroom.

CautiousLurker01 · 11/06/2025 11:11

Spinachpastapicker · 11/06/2025 09:50

That “answer” of seperate bedrooms with their own en suites will not be a possibility for a large part of the population who can’t afford a house like that.

They are two of them with a 3 bathroom house - not sure that applies in this case…

fiveIsNewOne · 11/06/2025 10:56

Spinachpastapicker · 11/06/2025 10:05

This is why toilets have lids. Put the lid down then flush. No issue. Toothbrushes will be unharmed.

Yes, that is what I do when staying away. At home it is a separate room (plus we can still use the lid). It makes people organisation easier in one bathroom homes.

In my country it is a building regulations requirement for homes bigger than 1 bed that there has to be a toilet as a separate room which can't open directly into living areas, two doors separation is required.
However, you can have "additional toilet" and "additional bathroom" on top of the regulatory one anywhere you wish.

Spinachpastapicker · 11/06/2025 10:05

fiveIsNewOne · 10/06/2025 10:04

If they only had one, it wouldn't be an ensuite.

However, I really prefer for a toilet to be a separate small room, not just another equipment next to the sink. Having toilet next to the toothbrushes feels gross.

This is why toilets have lids. Put the lid down then flush. No issue. Toothbrushes will be unharmed.

HarrietBond · 11/06/2025 09:57

I don't think the practice of locating a lavatory in the main bathroom is entirely confined to the UK.

MummaMummaMumma · 11/06/2025 09:55

You're being weird.

rosemarble · 11/06/2025 09:53

Spinachpastapicker · 11/06/2025 09:46

Peak Mumsnet - there shouldn’t be a toilet in the …. bathroom 🤣

Oh I wish the laugh response had not been taken away.
😂😂😂

We have one room to carry out our ablutions. It contains a sink, toilet and shower. It has a window. The people who live here are respectful of others and (mostly!) leave the bathroom as they wish to find it.

Spinachpastapicker · 11/06/2025 09:50

CautiousLurker01 · 10/06/2025 08:38

My DH only uses his bathroom as he wouldn’t want the downstairs (guest) bathroom to be smelly. He does open the window and clean the loo if it smells, though. Any odours, therefore, only linger for a few mins…

The answer is separate en suites/bedrooms which is what we do. During the week anyway, as he has to get up at 530 [snores] and I’m a night owl and it means we never have to compete for the loo or vanity (or have the reality of each other’s bodily functions destroy the mystique 🤣). Secret to a happy marriage and brings the novelty and sexiness back to holidays and weekends…

That “answer” of seperate bedrooms with their own en suites will not be a possibility for a large part of the population who can’t afford a house like that.

Spinachpastapicker · 11/06/2025 09:46

FoodAppropriation · 10/06/2025 08:16

I consider loos in an en-suite to be there for back up or emergency - or possible guests or when you have guests and want to stay quiet. Not to be used if you can avoid them.

The UK obsession for keeping loos in an actual bathroom is disgusting.

Peak Mumsnet - there shouldn’t be a toilet in the …. bathroom 🤣