My daughter wants to go abroad without me

This is probably what will happen.

Surely it's a fair question and concern, whether the 16 year old might be being brought over as a baby sitter? I'd be very concerned about the possible implications of a toddler getting sick in a foreign country with a 16 year old in charge. At the very least, the OP needs to talk to the cousin about it all.

This.

does she simply want to go clubbing / out all day?

tell your DD to take her own spending and emergency money.

Exactly so why is there comment after comment saying she will just leave her kid and go out every night. The majority of parents will not do this

When YOU go on holiday you do not abandon your kids. Some do and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with age.

I went all sorts of places without adult supervision at 16! She’ll be fine, trust me.

To all the people who think the 23 year old is just going to abandon her kid. When you go on holiday as a parent do you just abandon your kids and leave them with older siblings so you can go out for the night or are you just saying this to be ageist and assume parents in their 20s are shit mums and parents in their 30s and 40s are superior. Just remind me again how old the mccans where

In my experience most still do want to go away with parents. It's not like they are going to be able to, or to afford to go on holiday on their own at 16. DH and I never stopped going on holiday with our parents/inlaws as well as on our own as we all get on. Yes, they will want to go away with mates/partners as young adults but it doesn't mean that family holidays have to stop or there is an automatic cut off at a certain age.

My DD16 travelled to Germany on her own this year. Airline happy to book tickets and no issues with security/passport control either way.

Im sure in some instances they may be asked for further proof of reason to travel, and maybe moreso with an unrelated adult but it certainly is possible.

@Protectivemama if she’s sensible herself and the cousin appears to be a responsible parent then I’d have no issues

I think you have a right to be concerned. And how would it be fun to go with someone seven years older with a toddler that you or she hardly knows? I wonder what the motivation is for invitng her? It just seems an odd dynamic and she could be taken advantage of as a babysitter. I'd certainly be asking a lot more questions anyway.

Some of the comments on here are batshit 🤣
The most likely scenario is the 23 year old single mum doesn't have many friends and wants to go on holiday but doesn't want to go alone and like you said has a close relationship with your daughter. People on here's negative and stuck up views of young mums is clouding their judgement and seem to think just because she's 23 she's going to abandon her child. Let your daughter go it will be a nice holiday for them all.

Nah, I’d say 18 was the age I’d let mine go. Course some people here are fine with their 16yos going in these situations, but you know your DD and you make your own decisions.

Benidorm is very very definitely 100 percent and inarguably abroad. Abroad just literally means in a foreign country.

The thing I immediately thought of is the possibility of the cousin being involved with drug dealers and being tasked with taking an extra person on the drugs run, for whatever reason. Extra suitcase, or disarming customs people … So I would want to check the source of the cousin’s funding for the holiday. (Could obviously be ordinary earned income, but …)

If it’s definitely not that - the worst that’s likely to happen is that the 16 year old finds herself alone with a small child every evening.

The best interpretation is just that the cousin wants some company on a cheap holiday.

But Benidorm (at least within the confines of a resort) isn’t exactly ‘abroad’. I’d hope you’ll encourage your daughter to earn some money post exams, so she can embark on some proper travel - maybe with friends.

Exactly this!

I'd want to check out and meet the cousin before I sent her off to enjoy herself.

The cousin MAY be highly manipulative, on think... 'right party time, little cousin won't mind babysitting from 9pm to 8am while I'm out partying!'

WTF.

She may also want a drinking partner and either be willing to leave the child home alone - some do - or have looked into babysitters so she and the cousin could go out partying.

Or maybe not any of this. The point is though that the OP should definitely ask some questions if she is not ok with either her 16 year old being a babysitter for a toddler in a foreign country or her 16 year old partying with her cousin in party central, Spain.

Ok, but I tend to go with the "most obvious answer is usually correct". She's not going as a family either, which is why I said single.

She's a young single woman going with a younger single woman to Benidorm, it's not a school trip or a trip with husbands and partners. I am assuming that she is going to drink and party, because that's a reasonable assumption and though certainly people do go to Bendidorm for sand sea and sunshine only, it is best known for stag nights, hen do's and partying in general.

I think if the OP is worried about that she should talk to the young woman, and if not then fine. I wouldn't have been keen on my 16 year old daughter going to party central in Spain, a bit young for me.

But to each their own.

So you dont think the young woman she is going with picked Benidorm to party hearty?

No, I’ve not got a scooby. We can all speculate.

The cousin could well fancy roaming the streets of Benidorm alone to “party hearty” and leave her 2yo and cousin alone in the hotel room.

Or the cousin could well have just found a decent deal. Or she knows the area well and likes it there. She may feel sorry for the girl having never been abroad and want to treat her.

Yes Benidorm is a typical party “Brits boozing abroad” spot, but it’s also good for families and kids. I went to Benidorm many times as a young child in the 2000’s with my parents.

So you dont think the young woman she is going with picked Benidorm to party hearty? There are lots of lovely spots to visit in Spain, Benidorm is known for being party central, cheap drink, no strings sex, and that is why a lot of people go there, particularly single people.

I think she may be hoping for a baby sitter, or wants a drinking and party companion.

It can't be compared to a school trip.

If OP is good with that, fine. If not she should chat to the cousin about her reason for inviting her daughter.

No, I understood your point, should have made that clearer. Glad he got that epxerience.

she is still far too young and not mature enough to be travelling abroad without parents

She will be going with an adult family member who IS a parent, just not her parent.

For families who travel abroad regularly, 16 is the age where most teens want to stop going abroad with their parents.

Also, lots of children from age 11/12 go on school trips abroad, without their parents.

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm agreeing with you! I just went off on a bit of a tangent as I've been accused of patronising my dsis before for taking her son on holiday cos she couldn't afford it. Sorry, I should have directed my answer to the post you answered not you, my bad!

Don't be a smother.

I'm glad he got that experience, but for someone (the woman I quoted not you) to act performatively shocked that at 16 year old has never been abroad, triple question marks, is a bit vomit inducing and a clear mark of over entitlement.

There are millions and millions of people who don't get to travel abroad, it's dreadful that anybody would try to shame anyone for that or pretend it's abnormal in any way not to holiday abroad.