My daughter wants to go abroad without me

What wrong with benidorm have you actually been its filled with families

because they are close and she wants company and to treat her cousin post exams? and she can afford it?

Yes, it's the particular situation that is always the important thing.

They're going to benidorm not baghdad. why wouldn't she be safe, there's going to be a toddler so it will be a family friendly place and its probably to her cousin has a bit of company an maybe the odd bit of baby watching she gets a massage or something.

You don't need to know her cousin, her father knows her cousin as it's his family. Madness.

I don't think her age is the most relevant factor here, I think the destination is.
I wouldn't send my 17 yr old DD off to Benidorm with an older cousin, or cousins, or even her older brother. But when she was 15 or 16 she went on a group trip to Tanzania and other places.

It's Benidorm that's the problem.

Of course not!
It's about risk assessment in this particular situation.

Also, in my personal view, if she’s had a baby at 20/21 and then not with the father (I assume as he’s not coming on holiday) that would raise doubts in my mind as to her level of responsibility in itself. Again, my personal opinion.

But why after contraception failed (not sure why you would be thinking it was remotely ok to have sex at 13 or been left alone with a boy long enough but still) why did you then go on to have another at 15? Was that deliberate or another surprise?

She doesn’t know the cousin though. It’s on dads side and she doesn’t have much to do with them (daughter speaks to her but mum doesn’t know her well)

Exactly. She's 23 not 53. 23 year olds aren't exactly imbued with wordly wisdom themselves. I'd be concerned that my daughter would be used as childcare for the two year old and not know what to do should an emergency arise.

If a lot of people worry about the 16 year old, why wouldn't some worry about the 2 year old?

Why would you worry about a child on holiday with her mother. Do you abandon and mistreat your children on holiday

Why are you worried about the two year old? 🙄

I'm another who's worried that she might be used for babysitting.
I'm a bit worried about the 2 year old as well, but obviously that's not what is being asked about.

@OutdoorQueen
I applaud you! My cousin fell pregnant as a teen, 15. BF left her. She did so well. Finishing education and starting a cafe business, Her son is now a very successful 35yr old with a great job, lovely house, wonderful wife and two lovely boys. My cousin is now married and has a great business. I wish you well. Lovely to hear that you've done so well

Nope, came from a very nice stable home, we both did, contraception failed (with the first). It was devastating for our families but against all the odds we are still together 30+ years later, having built a successful business, put all 3 through uni etc.
Not all teenage parents are feral hooligans with terrible home lives, some of us come from lovely homes, with great parents, but ultimately teens will be teens & find a way to do what they want to do 🤷🏼‍♀️

There are threads about not letting a 17 year old home alone...

If you raise kids that way, no wonder they are unprepared for any real life.

The OP says the 16 yo is immature - she raised her, maybe she is, and she has not be given any independence ever. It's time to start...

for a bit of company? Because they are cousins, and other 23 year old won't go on holiday with a toddler?

If you are 23 with a 2 year old, who do you think want to go on holiday wit you? Your mum?

In the real world, toddler or not, it's normal for cousins to spend a bit of time together, even when there's some age gap in between.

To add..both of my, now adult, children, went abroad with their school, skiing when at primary school and had a great time. I'm 54 and went aboard with my school.

It’s a cousin… not a stranger? Of course she’ll have an idea - and if she’s not stated in the OP that the cousin is unreliable, you cant infer she is.

She's 16! I went abroad without my parents when I was 16. With my friend, also 16, her sister 18 and her 18 yr old friend to her family's villa.
All fine. I went to Australia for 6 months when I was just turned 18.
If I was your daughter, I'd sort my passport and go.
Why are you discouraging, actually preventing, your daughter seeing the world?
She is her own person, not your possession.

Her dad does though. All my mates went to Benidorm when I was 16 and my parents wouldn’t let me go. Fifty six years later I haven’t forgotten it. This is a much safer scenario.

@OutdoorQueen you obviously needed more guidance (especially on contraception) if you got pregnant at 13 and 15. You had too much independence

@Bubblesgun 6th form college (in England) is what follows school. So A-levels/Btech and then uni/work at 18

Love these stories 🤣 Not sure it’s helping the OP settle her nerves though