My daughter wants to go abroad without me

YABU! Unless there is some huge history of this cousin being remarkably irresponsible (but doubt she still would be with a 2yo).

I paid for my two 16yo cousins to come on holiday with me and my two children two years ago (I'm 27 now, was 24 at the time) - they were a brilliant help with the kids, so responsible and kind and such a pleasure to spend time with. It hadn't even crossed my mind that this might be something a parent would be worried about! I'm a responsible parent!

I moved abroad on my own when I had just turned 18 and had been on trips with boyfriends/friends beforehand so maybe that changes how I see the situation.

Oh I know it’s far from the norm & we have been incredibly lucky how it worked out. I remember it really sinking in when our eldest was 13 & just remember thinking there was no way I could imagine her having a child etc

She will be fine and going abroad will open the world up to her. Let her go.

I think this is a lot better I couldn’t imagine being married at 16!

What about a compromise? A 3 night holiday to Benidorm , you drop DD off and collect her from airport and you meet Cousin a few times before they go

@Lollypopbeach in England you used to be able to get married at 16 with parent permission, but you can’t anymore. Have to wait until 18 and obviously don’t need permission

I believe you used to a few years ago but they changed it, it’s now against law to marry until you are 18

As a parent I understand your worries but I think you could possibly be holding her back from a lovely experience and opportunity by saying no.

I think it would be a good idea to ask to meet up with this cousin. I’d want to know the vibe of this person.

I think some people are being a bit harsh assuming OP’s daughter has been invited to be a babysitter, maybe DD and cousin are just really close and she thought instead of being lonely on holiday she would invite her favourite cousin. Just because she’s 23 doesn’t automatically = want to go clubbing and find a new baby daddy.

I would say to DD that you would like to meet cousin a couple of times before you go, have her contact details etc

A child is anyone under 18 obviously. When a person gets full citizens rights.
And no a child of 16 or 17 in England cannot be legally married at 16.

There is a BIG difference in most teens between 16 and 18!

It depends on the definition of a child. Some 16 year olds could be married

I doubt if there'll be many language barriers in Benidorm!

Thats good it’s worked out for you in the end- I bet lots at the time thought it wouldn’t. It is perfect possible though to ensure that isn’t doesn’t happen. I have 3 teens currently and can’t even imagine this at 13 🤯 Just so far from the culture of our family / how we operate

I think you’re going to hold her back. She’s going with an adult and a 2 year old so will not be out partying. Give her this.

Good for you but this 16 year old will be in a foreign country. She won't be babysitting the nextdoor neighbour. There are language barriers, unfamiliar systems and any help from friends or family will be a plane ride away. I think it's fair to say you can be vulnerable yourself at 16. You are effectively still a child and actually too young to book accommodation on your own. I've lived overseas for years and even as an adult a medical emergency or fire for example is exacerabted by unfamiliar territory. But, if you'd be happy to leave your 2 year old under these circumstances, fair play to you. I personally would not.

Perhaps she wants the company? Being alone with a 2 year old is hard work and can be lonely.

Most of my friends go abroad regularly and it's pretty common, I think. But some people never have an interest in travelling, some aren't able to, some can't afford to etc. There are lots of wonderful places to visit in the UK too!

I think she meant going clubbing alone.

Fair enough. But personally I wouldn't leave a 16 year old in sole charge of my 2 year old child in a foreign country. There are language barriers, everything is unfamiliar and help from relatives or friends is at least a day away. What could possibly go wrong - for either of them?

I was on the pill (for my periods which were horrendous) but antibiotics had affected them combined with a condom that split. It was just a coincidence.
Should we have been having sex at that age, nope, but it happens.
As for being left alone for long enough with a boy, I find that utterly bizarre, teenagers will always find a way to do what they want.
Our second (and third) were planned, it wasn’t ideal but it worked for us.

Op when dd and cousin spend time together, do they spend time together or does she just go out and leave her kid with dd.

and the difference between 18 and 16 is?

"this woman" is a cousin - OP can just speak with her ex and ask him? It's his kid too.

wow

projecting much?

Unpaid babysitter so she can go out on the piss in Benidorm.

YANBU, you don’t know this woman. 18 yes, 16 no.

Op said they are close