My daughter wants to go abroad without me

There is a big difference between a 16 year old and an 18-20 year old. Personally I wouldn’t, and I suspect she will be used as an unpaid babysitter every night.

In the situation described I would let her. My 18 and 20 year old did 3 months travelling together around Europe scary but amazing for them.

Entirely unreasonable of you. Like, 100%.
You’re not in a position to take her abroad yourself, and yet are denying her the opportunity of someone else doing it.
That’s just selfish and wrong and she’s hardly going to thank you for it.
Is it too late to see sense and change your mind?

I was replying to the poster who said she was seeing kids and babies on campus, but whatever

Lol I was going with different family members from age 13 abroad and had best times ever. My parents saw it as an opportunity they couldn't afford to do but wanted me to have

Sorry, but this is a you problem. You shouldn't let your worries prevent your daughter from doing things. She's growing up, she's going to worry you, thats normal. Stopping her because of worries, that's stifling her.

Because they have a close relationship and maybe she’s a single mom who doesn’t want to go alone?

@Protectivemama parenting your child from teen onwards is scary and it is a worry and all we want to do is protect them.
But they aren’t always going to be a child we can wrap up in cotton wool and protect forever we have to let them go and spread their wings

My only concern is that she is being invited as a babysitter.
Other than that it would be a great opportunity for her. You ensure she has any meds she needs and the 23 year old knows how to contact the local emergency services. Also she takes a note of her condition and the meds she is on in case she does require medical assistance.
Don't make your concerns a big drama, however difficult it is for you.. keep your comments/suggestions practical.

No-one takes their kids to lectures... doesn't mean they aren't parents. How bizarre that you'd think that..

no... as you would have understood if you had actually read what I was replying to - I did not see any baby or children in general because no one ever brought any.

And none of the friends or people I know had, or have, kids in their 20s. So?

And MATURE students might have had kids by then, but they didn't bring them at uni. And as the name should make it clear, they were not 20 year old students anyway.

You mean you didn’t talk to anyone who looked older than you so you knew nothing about their lives.

If you went to university yourself, how did you fail to notice all these people around you?

We obviously didn't go to the same university, because there were NONE when I was there 😂

Even the mature students who went on same or evening courses didn't take kids with them...Someone brought their dog once, that's as far as it went.

The ones with kids probably weren't living in halls...

I’d love to know where you went because there were a lot of other mature students when I did my degrees in the 1980s and many of them were parents. Clearly you live a strangely insular life since you don’t know anyone who became a parent in their 20s either.

N't and if your kid isn't bright enough or interested in doing a degree in any shape or form, you're still happy to play 30 plus grand into a waste of time? Because it's the most important thing ever? Absolutely ridiculous to suggest it's the only sensible option .... Considering all this education you claim to have you'd think you'd have a broader world view.

And also, shit happens. People get raped, people make poor decisions. Going and doing a masters won't stop you getting pregnant accidentally.

I did go - albeit 20+ years ago but I can 100% tell you that amongst the hundreds of people I knew there, not one of them was a parent. But then pretty much everyone I knew lived in halls or student housing, and all were similar age to me- 18/19/20/21

It's nonsense, anyway. Good universities have creches these days. My eldest spent some time in one where I was doing my Master's. The girl who took out the contract law prize (a big deal) brought her adorable baby to many lectures (often just to drop off her dictaphone and wave at us all). My assignment partner in tax law had little boys. The national mooting champion one year was heavily pregnant. Etc etc.

If you went to university yourself, how did you fail to notice all these people around you?

I also remember one professor going into a rant about how the students who were parents were the only ones who ever did all the required reading- precisely because they had no spare time!

I take it you actually realise that not everyone is best suited to staying in further education till 21?

You’re coming off as being rather narrow-minded and superior on this thread, just so you know.

people like to travel and establish careers first.

Some do, some don’t.

looking at the price of properties in London, clearly limited because not many people could afford their first property and a baby in their 20s 😂

or even want one, people like to travel and establish careers first. So what?
It wasn't a judgement, it was factual, but you seem to be taking it a bit personally.

I had ds1 at 18 and ds2 at 20 ( I have 2 younger dc's too). They were most definitely not an accident, ok not my finest choice at 18 but in hindsight I can see why I did it. It made my life harder, but I'm sat here running an electrical engineering company in a very male dominated industry. So I've done ok!

But I digress.....
OP - please do let your dd go. My dd is just coming up for 19, but at the same age as yours she went to Borneo for 4 weeks (including a 5 day trek in the rain forest) with school. The following year she went to Tanzania for 2 weeks with college. You have to let them, and help them when you can, grab life experiences where you can. It's hugely character building and encourages their independence and self reliance.

I don’t know where you live but it was very nomal where I live 20 years ago. There are still a lot of relatively young parents. You’re right about choices, I had my family early and did both my degrees in my early 30s. Hit the ground running career wise and leapfrogged over my contemporaries who were then having kids. There’s more than one way to live a life.

It not about having a baby it's about you being shocked when adult women choose to have a baby