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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be this petty to my husband?

87 replies

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 21:56

So I can only sleep in total darkness and silence like a weird vampire. My husband can only sleep watching TV. We compromised and he watches a film on his ipad with headphones but the flickering of the films also does my head in. Especially fight scenes in films, it lights the bedroom up IYSWIM. Now after the last time of it happening, I waited untill he was in the shower and quickly adjusted all of his ipad brightness settings and put on all of the eye shield/dark mode stuff I could find. He can still watch it obviously, but the screen isn't a big ball of light screaming in my face and his eyes are now very protected (what a kind thoughful wife eh!)😆 😅 I overheard him saying to our son that the ipad might be on the way out and soon I'll have to confess to my crimes which he will no doubt find hilarious. I should also mention that I would sleep with an eyemask on but that makes me feel like I'm going to be attacked by zombies/monsters in the night so I just get annoyed internally at every spec of light intead while being aware the eyemask probably would be a £1 solution to my lifes problems.

Please make me feel better by telling me the very slight, but probably annoying/petty things you do to your partner that makes you secretly a little bit happy!

OP posts:
HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:27

Gustavo1 · 09/06/2025 22:22

Another poster who loves my eye mask too. Have them from smug with so they have space for eyelashes. They also have a Velcro catch on the back so I know not strangle myself :)

Why can’t your DH watch tv elsewhere then come to bed? Does he actually fall asleep watching the movie? I can’t imagine how that would make me sleepy.

A dedicated eyelash space?! Is this true?!
He actually DOES fall asleep watching it. Its bizzare and I think his brain is broken. I fall asleep by closing my eyes and reliving all the worst most embarrassing things that have ever happened to me/could happen to me like a normal person but he is just not on board.

OP posts:
PizzaSophiaLoren · 09/06/2025 22:26

Can’t he sleep in the dressing room (or airing cupboard if you don’t have a dressing room)?

I do like the heating on and the lights on when DH isn’t about.

GoldPoster · 09/06/2025 22:26

This is not a slight thing. It would be separate bedrooms for me

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:25

NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 09/06/2025 22:23

‘Monsters’ how silly

Not just monsters hun. I said monsters AND zombies xox

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HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:24

NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 09/06/2025 22:22

He surely knows how to adjust iPad settings, it’s quite simple

I do not believe he thinks it’s has packed up

He probably doesn't. Probably made it up to get son on board for new gadgets. They are a team usually- a convincing money spending gadget buying team.

Will continue to mess with the ipad. Probably will then get a new ipad. Then I will miraculously fix old ipad. Thus gaining myself an ipad. Winners all around really.

OP posts:
Redpeach · 09/06/2025 22:23

God that would drive me mad

NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 09/06/2025 22:23

‘Monsters’ how silly

Gustavo1 · 09/06/2025 22:22

Another poster who loves my eye mask too. Have them from smug with so they have space for eyelashes. They also have a Velcro catch on the back so I know not strangle myself :)

Why can’t your DH watch tv elsewhere then come to bed? Does he actually fall asleep watching the movie? I can’t imagine how that would make me sleepy.

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:22

EmeraldShamrock000 · 09/06/2025 22:20

Get a tent for your side of the bed.
I love wearing my eye-mask.

Omg a little black out tent. He would only be allowed to enter the tent for special tent shagging and then can exit and live his best eye searingly bright films for as long as he likes. Perfect solution imo. Wonder if they come in pink.

OP posts:
NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 09/06/2025 22:22

He surely knows how to adjust iPad settings, it’s quite simple

I do not believe he thinks it’s has packed up

EmeraldShamrock000 · 09/06/2025 22:20

Get a tent for your side of the bed.
I love wearing my eye-mask.

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:20

Panterusblackish · 09/06/2025 22:18

Bedrooms are for sleeping not for bloody telly.

It's not about compromise, it's inappropriate of him to be watching a film in the bedroom.

Fellow non mask wearing weird vampire here too OP.

Yesss- recruiting more horrible uncompromising wives to my teeeaaam

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HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:19

travelallthetime · 09/06/2025 22:17

I’m with you, the standby light on the tv annoys the shit out of me, to the point I often get up and switch it off at the plug.

and no to sleep masks, not only monsters but also I have a fear of strangling myself with one (irrational clearly)

I think I've found my people. On holiday the fire alarm thing had a little red dot and I just laid there staring at it thinking ill NEVER get to sleep now.

Spoiler alert, I absolutely could fall asleep I'm just irrational about any lights 😄 🤣

OP posts:
ObtuseMoose · 09/06/2025 22:18

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

... but I'm glad your marriage is happy! 🥰

Backtracking from being a bitch so fast you probably got whiplash 🙄

Panterusblackish · 09/06/2025 22:18

Kimmeridge · 09/06/2025 22:12

So again it's all on him - no compromising there.

Bedrooms are for sleeping not for bloody telly.

It's not about compromise, it's inappropriate of him to be watching a film in the bedroom.

Fellow non mask wearing weird vampire here too OP.

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:18

Monvelo · 09/06/2025 22:14

Just to say wouldn't it be lush to sleep in a pitch black silent box, ideally velvet lined...

The absolute dream. Preferably with about 10 pillows, my arms crossed over my body and the perfect temperature with just a hint of chill... and no husband tossing and turning either. Or kids to wake me at 3am saying they have wet the bed..

OP posts:
travelallthetime · 09/06/2025 22:17

I’m with you, the standby light on the tv annoys the shit out of me, to the point I often get up and switch it off at the plug.

and no to sleep masks, not only monsters but also I have a fear of strangling myself with one (irrational clearly)

Golidlocksandthethreeswears · 09/06/2025 22:17

Monvelo · 09/06/2025 22:14

Just to say wouldn't it be lush to sleep in a pitch black silent box, ideally velvet lined...

If you say so!

spongebob squarepants coffin GIF
HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:16

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

... but I'm glad your marriage is happy! 🥰

Thanks - what a sweet thing to say. Aside from his night owl tendencies he is pretty perfect. I would prefer him to be in the pitch black dark in silence lying perfectly still for 12 hours a night but I'll forgive him for that one flaw ;) (and also has absolutely shit taste in music but thats another thread) xx

OP posts:
Goditsmemargaret · 09/06/2025 22:14

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

... but I'm glad your marriage is happy! 🥰

No you're not

Monvelo · 09/06/2025 22:14

Just to say wouldn't it be lush to sleep in a pitch black silent box, ideally velvet lined...

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

... but I'm glad your marriage is happy! 🥰

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:10

It's pretty good being married to him tbh. His choice of films are questionable though. Also I thought the TV thing was normal for adults- I know loads of people who like it on to sleep? Every day is a school day if that's not true!

Instant ick I'm afraid. Does he also need his food cut up and his botty wiped? 😅

Kimmeridge · 09/06/2025 22:12

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:07

Or, and hear me out - he can just watch the film with his brightness dimmed and we can continue to live our best lives in one bedroom 😉

So again it's all on him - no compromising there.

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:10

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:07

Omg imagine being married to a manbaby who has to be soothed to sleep with TV 😕.

There's a lesson here, parents - sleep train your kids!!

It's pretty good being married to him tbh. His choice of films are questionable though. Also I thought the TV thing was normal for adults- I know loads of people who like it on to sleep? Every day is a school day if that's not true!

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