To think my husband is being unreasonable

Knowing he'd "got it wrong" (sort of) the first time, you were a bit daft not to be more specific the second time. He's not going to bring you back an apple and some Ryvita for a treat.

Oh my DH does this. I always say “a surprise” knowing full well I fucking hate surprises in general. I’m the problem, it’s me. The corner shop sells junk, and then I get junk. Then I eat it and rinse, repeat.

“do you want me to get you anything?”
”no thank you darling” EVERY TIME.

I am trying to find a way to silence the “food noise”. I have realised that unless I can do this I won’t succeed. Soup it is… 😟

I think that’s the issue though, OP did say that to him the first time he came back with junk exactly the sorts of things she’d like but sounds like her DH is incapable of remembering that simple info.

@householddog I think people have been a bit harsh with you. I don’t think YABU at all once DH has been told what constitutes a treat or something nice when you’re on a diet. It’s crazy he can’t surprise you sometimes flowers, sometimes fruit, magazine etc. Also crazy he constantly brings back junk for you knowing full well you’re cutting back and politely told him not to.

It’s a shame with all the work you’re currently doing already you cant even look forward to a surprise and have to think yourself then clinically ‘order’ it through him. You’re not a complex character, typical girly/pampering things - only stipulation being no junk food! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I would say you need to tell him what you want next time.

If my partner went to the shop and I said suprise me he would definitely bring back a load of chocolate and sweets etc unless I told him otherwise.

I almost quoted your first post @householddog then thought better of it.
My mum would eat healthy and cut out sweets and do well and every single time my dad would bring her home a box of chocolates - the kind she couldn’t resist.
I never would’ve noticed it if she hadn’t pointed it out, but it was true.
She called him a ”diet saboteur.”

This exactly. If you must ask for a surprise treat at least specify it is not to be food based.

😅

Blimey, tough crowd. Well done @householddog on your willpower. Yes, endometriosis is excrutiating. Just ask for some nice flowers, next time. 💐

My disappointment level if I asked for a treat from the garage and got a melon.

Just tell him next time. Yes love, I'd love some of my nice bath soak, the magazine I like and some melon slices for later.
If my DH asked me for a treat I wouldn't take that as magazine/bath stuff and we are both healthy eaters too. I'd think him asking for a treat would be him wanting a night off for some nachos or something.

"I once said surprise me. He got me a huge multi pack of sponges for washing up. He was made up, they were on offer and the "posh" ones." This made me laugh out loud, thank you (and bless him)! 😂😂😂

as others have said give him a list. As your habits have changed so you both need to adjust.

unless you have a habit for wanting melon as a treat. It’s not going to be his go to. Nor is he going to remember after mentioning it once in passing.

You need to cut him some slack

Sorry OP, you are the unreasonable one I think. at least remind him you don't want sweet stuff or rubbish.

If someone something nice or a treat then it's something edible, it wouldn't occur to me to get a melon though..

Sorry, but most people don’t have the headspace to commit to memory the details of others’ temporary, non-medical dietary restrictions (particularly if they will sometimes still eat cake, and/or ate chocolate the last time you got some, etc).

If you’re being particular about what you will and won’t eat, then you need to be specific in your food requests from other people.

This! Morphine? I take morphine for cancer pain!

Edited: sorry, didn’t see you have endo. That’s horrid.

Just be clear what you want next time, then there will be no mix up, chocolate, sweets or junk.

FFS just say what you want. Equally say what you don’t want. It’s really not hard. Send him a bloody txt. Baby or no baby.

Being on a diet doesn't mean the OP can never eat chocolate or crisps. This is why so many diets fail. People stick far too rigidly to it and then are surprised they put all the weight back on when they stop dieting. It's far better to make healthy choices part of the routine and allow some leeway with choclate, cake, crisps etc.

Yes. Why not dump the person you had a child with, have them part time, reduce your income and re enter the joy of dating then possibly having to blend families and face your ex doing the same over and over couple of misplaced chocolate bars. What a completely proportionate and rational response 🤦🏽‍♀️

You’re being a bit of a dick, in the nicest way possible.

ok so nice drip feed about the endo. Sorry that it's so bad for you

But you know him. So give him a list so next time he asks, tell him to pick from the list. If he doesn't pick from the list tell him a) to stop trying to stabotage your efforts and b) to stop asking if you want anything.

I was thinking that he could have remembered all of the previous things OP has said about her diet and taken that into account when choosing.

Let’s make this easier. If you don’t want the chocolate, send him over here. I will oblige.

You need to remember that men are so different from women and a lot of them need help with things like this!

I am a massive chocoholic, but when I got pregnant I went right off it and instead just fancied ice lollies all the time. I talked about it SO OFTEN, how much I missed the desire for chocolate and the enjoyment of it, etc. For months, my boyfriend still brought me my fave chocs back from the shops every time he went, and they would remain unopened, but I thought the gesture still was very sweet. He was thinking of me.

I think you mostly went wrong with the second time. First time you expected bubble bath or a watermelon- such random “treats” but you had faith in him. He got it wrong, (unsurprisingly) but then when he asked you today if you wanted anything, you didn’t learn from the previous time and still expected him to know what kind of treat you wanted. Just tell him what you want next time, not hard.