WIBU to complain about this teacher?

You're getting an unnecessary amount of flak here, which I don't think is fair. In my experience (3 kids) there's always one teacher that your child doesn't click with. The one my eldest encountered in p2 was a particularly memorable example.

I would wait it out and see how he gets on with his new teacher.

Hi, OP -

Your most recent update about the zoo incident is very serious. Do you still have the text?

In general I think this is a difficult and ambiguous situation, but certain things stand out. Although I understand your concerns around the Nativity play - and would have probably done the same, had it been my DC - I think they dilute the strength of your argument. I would concentrate on more objective problems.

That revolting incident at the zoo, especially if the other mum allows you to show the Head her text. (Otherwise perhaps you can anonymise it, but this does no good if she was the only mum on the trip) I think that incident alone will get people on your side -ie DS’ side. The disparity between the teacher’s assessment of DS’ reading level and everyone else’s assessment - and you need to be clear that this includes reading comprehension. The contradictions around dyspraxia. The effect of the year on DS’ personality. Etc.

A short presentation stating a theme and giving key examples is much more powerful than a laundry list of every small complaint.

Well thats a bit of a drip feed.

This you complain about and name the parent who told you

I had this with my daughter. Yes it is possible for a teacher to dislike a 5 year old . And subtly show it by disfavouring them , Nativity thing as described and dismissing anything a parent raises. My daughter was criticised by the teacher on front of whole class ( this was told by a child to his parent who told me ) for crying . Turned put that she had a temperature of 104 . I was so upset and did raise it . Teacher tried to tell me that she often cried - false - . I do believe that she continued to discriminate against my child until she left .
It does happen OP and My God it hurts your heart .

This parent needs to raise this with the school. It's completely inappropriate for the teacher to draw attention like that to your DC face, especially when he's got a known issue/had surgery.

I think you’ve got a few issues to raise, certainly.

I’d forget the nativity stuff. Yes, those things were unfortunate, but easy enough to explain as oversights or accidents. Going on about the nativity reduces the potency of the real issues. Ditto the stickers/celebration.

You have every right to mention her horrible comparison at the zoo, but this will likely be explained away. Even so, put it to the Head Teachers like this usually have a track record, so even if the Head makes excuses to you, there could be an internal action for the teacher.

Absolutely question the reading too. Take the work and assessments in from the tutor to compare with his school work. It could be that, aside from dyspraxia, he’s finding it hard to concentrate in class or, because she’s been so awful to him, he’s lost confidence and isn’t performing as highly as he could. Either way, with the direct comparison, the truth will come out.

If this teacher has underestimated your dc the new one will love him because he'll show massive improvement with her.

this is my thought - I appreciate why you've included all the other things but honestly, even if they are true, they sound so petty and unproveable that if you did make a complaint the head would just write you off as one of 'those' parents.
but then you almost brush over this and it sounds like both the worst thing and the one that is most easily evidenced (an independent witness).

Personally if the phonics assessment is the thing you are most worried about I would go to the head specifically about that and only that, in order to make a reasonable request, saying we really disagree with Ms X about his reading level, it was really concerning to us that he went from top of the class to bottom, we've had a private tutor who says his reading is standard, we've been working with him over the year etc. Would it be possible for him to be assessed by someone else so we get an objective opinion?

Leave the rest, tell DS September is a new year and new teacher, wait a few months so she gets to know him then ask about the dyspraxia, and get a new assessment.

If you really want to make a formal complaint I would focus on at most 2 or 3 things. Say 'we have a number of minor concerns as well' if it makes you feel better but stick with the ones with actual evidence from people who aren't your DS's family members (including your mum!)
a - an independent witness heard her making fun of him
b - previous teachers and a private tutor all assessed his reading level as average to above average, she is the only one who keeps insisting he is below average but at the same time refusing to put into place anything to help him
c - she specifically said she agreed with the dyspraxia signs and even used it to explain why his reading was poor (particularly if she put this in writing) so you don't understand why she then said she couldn't see any

When I was in P5 in Scotland I was 9 and turned 10 in the April, for whatever reason this teacher took a disliking to me and I went from the top table in everything to the bottom table. He said i couldn't spell, my handwriting was that of a toddler. I honestly disliked school much I ran away twice. I had to go in to hospital so my mum asked for the work that she would get me to go whilst I was off. He said no point as I wouldn't understand it. My mum by this point was really confused as to how her daughter who. the previous 4 yrs had been said to be a very intelligent child was now according to this teacher useless. So went back to school and was given work to catch up with. I did 2 weeks work in one day, no mistake but he said my handwritten was terrible and he couldn't read it but he knew it was all correct. My mum went up and caused a scene and said that his attitude was disgusting so he better get it sorted. His wife worked with my dad and from that day on she did not speak to my dad. So for 20 yrs of working basically ignore my dad. He told my mum I was a little know it all who needed bring down a peg of 2. When I went into P6 this teacher had been told I was a terrible child with a terrible attitude and I would never achieve anything. He asked to speak to my parents as he has spoken to the teacher and has said if there had been an issue as he thought the teacher had me confused with someone else or had their been a clash of personalities. To this day no one has any idea why he didn't get on with me. I was a people pleaser so wouldn't have been cheeky or unpleasant to him. No idea why he didn't like me

I have a dyspraxic DD who appeared to be a good reader at school. It wasn't until we finally had her assessed by an expert at 15 that we discovered that there were certain issues with comprehension. FOr her they were:

If she has to read silently she has no idea what she read - she needs to read it out loud and hear the words.

If you ask her to do a practical task in class - eg home ec or a science practical - all her focus is on doing it and she can't tell you what she did. If she watches someone else do it then she can relate what happened in quite a lot of detail.

Slow to write neatly but she is now a musician with good fine motor skills so her handwriting is neat. However she tends to work from the shoulder rather than the lower arm/wrist so needs greater feedback from the writing tools - so prefers a fountain pen as it scratches a little, and then a pencil rather than a biro or roller ball.

She has a few dyslexic traits as part of the dyspraxia - eg finds things easier through a coloured overlay.

FInally - lazy eye is apparently more common in dyspraxic children - might be worth getting his eye sight checked as if this is an issue it can be dealt with quickly at his age.

Hang on in there - mine was labelled stupid at school and yet she was the one with a full scholarship and therefore no uni fees to pay when it came to Higher Ed!

I think it does definitely sound like she doesn’t like your child OP. Not all teachers are nice- I say this as a primary teacher myself.

however, I don’t think going to the school at this stage will be helpful. She will absolutely lie to defend herself and will be believed over you. The little bits of evidence you have will be dismissed as petty or she will say they didn’t happen. You will end up looking like a neurotic parent.

you are best now just continuing to get through this Half term and seeing how he goes in the next class in September. Even if this teacher speaks negatively in handover, it doesn’t mean the next teacher won’t like your Ds, she or he will probably be pleasantly surprised if they’ve heard negative remarks about him and then realise he’s lovely. You could always speak to the new teacher and say that Mrs X last year said DS was very behind in reading so you’ve worked hard over the summer to improve his reading skills and are wondering if she/he thinks there is anything else you can do at home just to make it known that he has had reading input and shouldn’t be massively behind.

and keep on boosting your boy like you are doing

Iv seen this wjth adhd kids seeking diagnosis. Nhs (GP) say the school should be doing the diagnosis and the school (ea) say it's a medical issues that should be referred by the GP

I would go back to GP and firmly ask for a referral on nhs

Sound advice

Speaking as an ex-primary school teacher who has been in a similar position to you, it is incredibly painful to have an issue with your child's teacher because you know it all from the other side and how difficult some parents can be. And you also know how teachers should conduct themselves with their pupils. Raising concerns as a parent becomes doubly hard, especially if the school know that you're a teacher.

You definitely need to take the Dyspraxia issue further. But try to take the personal out of it. You are pretty early on in your child's school career and who knows what other issues are going to emerge over time that you may feel you need to take up with School. It's coming towards the end of the school year. Let go & let God with the teacher. If there are genuine problems with this teacher then they will emerge with other parents over the course of time.

It's in the teacher's interests for a child to pass the phonics check so don't worry about this. If he does happen to fail then it will be clearer at the beginning of Year 2 as to whether ornot there is genuinely an issue.

This is what I would complain about. Just speak to the head now. You will get a lot of people saying oh poor teacher, parents are a pain but another parent has heard this and told you and it's wrong. Just get on and report it.

Woah - seriously ignore this!

I have not read follow up posts but I am guessing the school play thing was said as one part of a massive jigsaw of concerns.

The sort of 'Railway Children on steroids' red flag for me is that she compared your child to a zoo animal.

Of course complain - transcribe this post, rejigged as a catalogue of your concerns, and give it straight to the head.

I am a teacher and while I would normally say raise it first with the teacher, I think her actions so far in response to your concerns, and the seriousness of some of the things she's done, mean that it would be reasonable to bypass her.

I wouldn’t have. It wouldn’t be the right time or place. I think she dealt with it appropriately by passing it on to the OP.

The most shocking part of this post for me was the Zoo incident! Why didn’t the adult helping say something to the teacher about comparing your DS to an animal? That incident in itself would have me speaking to the headteacher. And I’d like to think that if I was the adult helper I’d pull the teacher up on it.

Unfortunately some teachers do take a dislike to some children. I completely get the overwhelming feeling that you need to protect and advocate for your child, I have done it myself for my two DS at times when I felt it was absolutely necessary. However, and I say this kindly OP, I think you need to take a breath. You are obsessing about the details of the nativity, maybe it was done intentionally and maybe not but I guarantee you are the only one still dwelling on it 6 months later. The dyspraxia and other learning issues can be put aside until the next academic year when you will have a fresh start with a fresh teacher. Of course you need to get him the right support and of course you want his school days to be happy, why wouldn’t you. But this is just a small part of his education and you will need to try and really focus on what is important for your childs wellbeing, and what you can let go.

OP, trust your instincts and act accordingly. Don’t let anyone convince you that because it’s a teacher it’s impossible that they are acting with ill intentions. From what you’ve described the teacher comes across as cruel and spiteful.

Please stand up for your dc like now, OP. You have been very patient. It doesn’t matter what time of year it is. These are young children, she’ll have even younger ones in her ‘care’ come September.

Well presumably she already had your number if your child had been to hers for a play date

Go with your gut feeling. My son (now in 30’s) is autistic. I fought tooth and nail throughout his school years to get him a proper education, as you only get one shot at it. I sought legal advice and appealed when they reduced his SEN funding. Paid for an independent educational psychologist to assess him who also diagnosed him with dyslexia, dyscalculia and dyspraxia. He was given a place in an integrated resource unit and 1:1 support for 50% of his day. He never looked back - now has a full time career and I don’t regret challenging every poor decision the schools made

Just to add that some of the incidents on their own could be brushed off. Eg the school play stuff, but it's the overall picture that's the issue.

And you have shown the school this explicit evidence?