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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel a bit icky about this

35 replies

onmymown · 09/06/2025 13:32

I know. Just the phrase icky makes me cringe too but I don’t really know what other word to use so bear with me.
my DH has gone on a lads holiday, just for a few days. He’s been messaging me here and there when he can and has messaged today to say they’re at a beach and casually said that there are women walking around topless/sunbathing, which he found weird as there are also kids about.
I may be slightly hormonal and I’m definitely insecure about my post partum body but AIBU to feel a bit weird that my DH is just sat on a beach somewhere looking at other women’s boobs?
can someone talk some sense into me please

OP posts:
Original poster
onmymown · 09/06/2025 14:24

Thanks for the responses so far. I suppose I’m just feeling insecure more than anything and I’m not sure what his intentions were in telling me as he knows I’m insecure about my body since having DC, especially my boobs.

OP posts:
VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 09/06/2025 14:22

DP made exactly the same comment to be when we were in Tenerife in February. Given that she's entirely heterosexual, I very much doubt it was because he's having a good old perv.

It is something that comes as a surprise to a lot of British people, who aren't used to women being topless in public. As a result it's seen as a sexual thing that shouldn't be done around children, when it's really not.

@onmymown I really wouldn't worry about it, I think your husband was just making conversation, it doesn't mean he's there perving at every woman who walks by.

Ablondiebutagoody · 09/06/2025 14:20

Ohmeohmyohdear · 09/06/2025 14:08

If he is " just at the beach" and it's no big deal why does he need to tell OP about the topless women?

Show quote history

Because its presumably different to their home country and talking about stuff is normal. I have inadvertently been to a nudist beach before. When I told DP, he didn't get all pissy that I was looking at dick.

Ohmeohmyohdear · 09/06/2025 14:08

Ablondiebutagoody · 09/06/2025 14:06

Get a grip. He's just at the beach

If he is " just at the beach" and it's no big deal why does he need to tell OP about the topless women?

Ablondiebutagoody · 09/06/2025 14:06

Get a grip. He's just at the beach

Ohmeohmyohdear · 09/06/2025 14:00

Limth · 09/06/2025 13:55

YANBU.

Any way you cut this your DH comes out looking like a complete dick.

Even in the very best case scenario, your DH has buggered off on a 'lads holiday' while you're post-partum and is now sat on a beach worried about the welfare of unknown children because they might see a bit of tit. Dick.

That's the very best case scenario which I don't believe. I don't believe your DH has texted you because of a deep concern about these random unknown beach children and their proximity to tits.

I agree with this.
Totally unnecessary to tell OP what he is up to enjoying his freedom while she is at home looking after his child/ children.
It's as though he is enjoying making her feel insecure.

Limth · 09/06/2025 13:55

YANBU.

Any way you cut this your DH comes out looking like a complete dick.

Even in the very best case scenario, your DH has buggered off on a 'lads holiday' while you're post-partum and is now sat on a beach worried about the welfare of unknown children because they might see a bit of tit. Dick.

That's the very best case scenario which I don't believe. I don't believe your DH has texted you because of a deep concern about these random unknown beach children and their proximity to tits.

QuickPeachPoet · 09/06/2025 13:53

You can almost guarantee that the topless women won't be perfectly toned swimsuit models. I have been to many beaches where women are doing this, and the majority are over 60 with boobs down by their knees. Bearing in mind that the younger women will all be at work at this time of day and year.

Ohmeohmyohdear · 09/06/2025 13:49

I thought that was why men went on " lads holidays" : to behave like teenagers and enjoy the women and drink.

Hankunamatata · 09/06/2025 13:33

He is just making convo. If he really was staring at boob's he would be texting you about it

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