AIBU to feel a bit icky about this

What about the other way around.On holiday with the girls on a beach topless in Ibiza beach and rang the DH and casually dropped that into conversation. I did this once as did my friend on the phone at the same time. It felt kind of cheeky but fun. I didn't think my DH thought anything of it, but years later he keeps bringing it up as a 'thing'. I does sound odd that OP's DH mentioned it, but having done the same I can kind of see why as it was just some chat.

BTW I agree the "lads holiday" when you have a newborn sounds weird. My girls week in Ibiza was just before kids arrived - I would've been really P!$$ed off if DH had done that to us!

If he thinks little kids seeing a bit of boob is weird wait until he finds out what those same kids ate for the first year of their lives!
Seriously OP he sounds like an immature knob

I wouldn't like that at all, any of it tbh.

Just a little triangulation there

No nice husband would tell his postpartum wife about the naked women around him. Done on purpose to make you feel insecure x Sorry

Why has he gone on a lads' holiday when you have a new baby? I don't think that's fair at all.

Weird as there are kids around? Such as him, by the sound of it.

Never understood why men or women think it's ok to go on these sorts of holidays, surely you get that out of your system before a committed relationship, not a chance I'd have it.

I would not be happy about this! I hate my postpartum boobs too and this would make me feel really insecure

It wouldn’t even occur to me to be bothered about this.

It’s not like he said “it’s amazing, I’m surrounded by gorgeous women with their tits out, I’m in heaven”. He just said there were topless women and he found it weird because there were kids about. If anything he sounds a bit prudish about it!

(Also, you’re failing to realise that most of these topless women are probably about 70.)

What's the problem? That he's looking at other women topless? or that you feel insecure or both? I've seen plenty of women on holiday topless, mainly older women when Im in Spain, it's not uncommon. I also go topless, I'm not parading my body around, expecting attention to be lavished on me. I dont like tan lines, not a big deal. I would have an issue if my husband was ogling women though. No reason to tell you about the women, I would also expect topless bathing. Has he had form to do this kind of thing in the past?

I'd see it as him being clumsily open about something he's found surprising/ awkward. Would you rather you found out later? I'm sure the mumsnet mums would judge him for hiding this too. Sometimes it seems men can't do anything right here.

I'm sorry you're feeling insecure and that he hasn't taken this into account but I really don't think he's done anything wrong with this text. And if you agreed to him going away and are now regretting it, that's to discuss once he's back. It's a done deal for now.

When did British women start keeping tops on? We were all topless when I was young.

(Spellcheck changed that to "toeless". 🙄🙄🙄)

He's probably a bit like a kid in a sweet shop but it's just looking and as long as that's all it is then you've no rational reason to feel insecure.

But its the fact her H is sat on a beach looking at other women's breasts that is the very thing OP is upset about!

I don't know what is supposed to be reassuring about your post. Especially given how OP is feeling about her own body at the moment.

He's not a " kid in a sweetie shop". He is a married man and a father who is telling his wife , who is at home looking after his small baby, that he is surrounded by topless women. That is not what a loving H and father should be doing.

It's a bit daft of him to text you that information. Yes, of course there are boobs out on a Spanish beach (it's usually only the Brits who keep their tops on) but you know that and didn't need it spelling out. Don't fixate on it. He's probably a bit like a kid in a sweet shop but it's just looking and as long as that's all it is then you've no rational reason to feel insecure.

I can understand your insecurities but also remember he hasnt described these women as hot or whatever other description might hit a nerve. I've noticed a lot of men say things and sometimes they dont realise how the woman might feel. It would only be an issue if there were other behaviours you didnt like or if this sort of thing happen regularly.

I’d be more icked out over the fact that he thinks boobs are inappropriate around children. What a prude.

Having a baby doesn't affect men in the same way. Bodies don't change
I mean, arguably their bodies do change, the difference is that they don’t have a decent excuse. Laziness and greed.

As someone who went to lots of Mediterranean beaches as a kid, and am still somewhat scarred by some of the things I saw, I can certainly confirm that the vast majority will be far, far, older than you with skin like varnished leather from decades of sunbathing, often with their obese octogenarian husbands in very, very tiny speedos. It’s not all nudist bay watch!

It might fit be weird. He might just be making a comment about the resort.

He's looking at them and telling you he thinks it's awful so you don't think he's enjoying looking at them. You're meant to become one of these women who say "My Derek wouldn't never look at topless women. He thinks its disgusting".

He's messaged you to let you know about the top less women just in case a picture appears with said content in. He's a man - he hasn't thought through any reason why you might find it uncomfortable. He hasn't thought through any reason why you might object to the holiday.

Having a baby doesn't affect men in the same way. Bodies don't change, if BF then they don't need to get up in the night. They have no understanding of what it takes to have a child. Even if you tell them.

They either grow up, take responsibility or get left behind. You will have to bear with him whilst he adjusts as he's way behind where he needs to be. Immaturity is a killer of marriages.

Well that's makes it all the more down right unpleasant that he made the point about noticing all these other women showing off their breasts.

Has he got form for negging OP?

Why is he away on holiday with the guys OP while you are at home looking after his young baby alone?

I don’t know why it’s weird that there are kids there. On the beach.

If I was ranking people’s weirdness first being on a beach with a topless woman, I’d put a man who has a baby and who has gone on holiday with the lads as a higher level of weirdness than some kids.

I'd wager that either:

> He's all excited about naked tits in the wild and, as the person he shares his exciting news with, couldn't help but tell you. This is thoughtless and clumsy given your body insecurities, and pathetic that he's all excited about tits.
> He's letting you know to stay on your toes because there are lots of tits to choose from. This is underhanded and nasty.
> He's genuinely concerned that poor children on the beach will see tits, and is sharing that concern with you. This is pathetic - tits exist, children know that.

The reasons why he's texted you, for me, are moot. I can't get around the fact he's left you on your own with a baby to piss off on a 'lads holiday'. Pathetic, he needs to grow the fuck up.

He did not, and more fool him for doing so.