Abusive ex husband begging to come back back saying he doesn’t remember the past

They all come up with these lies and rubbish
the children do not want or need him
you are safe so stay safe
block him from your phone
work with your children to make a good life for you all
he made his bed let him lie in it
God bless

It’s only because he has lost control and his carer/substitute mummy/punch bag/someone to belittle to feel better about himself and taken back control and he wants it back.

You do know what to do. You keep him away from your children and put them first

Change your phone number so he can’t contact you anymore.

No No No NO NO NOOOOOO!!!!

No feeling sorry for him. Stop that feeling right there.
Stop the contact… just STOP!
Have a really good talk to yourself.
You have escaped an abusive relationship. Keep moving forward on your path to a better life, looking after your kids and freedom to live without fear. Do not go back - please!!!
Whether he remembers how he treated you is NOT relevant . His abuse still happened and you remember it.

There are so many sad threads on here of women who are trapped, frightened, sad, coerced…. You are now out of your situation… why would you put yourself back in it?????

Work on stopping feeling sorry for him. Remember what he did to you and your children.

Of course you know what to do. Of course you do.

What do you do.....you know what the answer here is deep down...you keep running from an abusive man who has ruined your life until you managed to escape. If you could which you can't with children I'd block his number.

He doesn't miss you, he misses having someone to skivvy for him.

Ignore him, block him, don't let him back into your life.

You don't owe him anything. You and your children are better off without him. Stay strong and don't look back.

You know perfectly well what to do.

Your duty to yourself and your children.

That includes protecting yourself and them from this lying, manipulative abuser.

He knows perfectly well what he did. Sadly, he may believe what he did was justifiable on the grounds that you are only a woman and therefore his property. Too many men believe this.

If you have an income and a home through your own efforts and he doesn't - that's his fault.

Head back to your own beliefs, whatever they may be.

Tell him to leave you all alone.

Report him to the police.

Block him.

Get on with your moves, secure you've done the right thing for your family.

Please don't fall for it @FastMintSheep
If you feel yourself weakening then come back here and we will bolster you up until you feel strong enough to stand up to him.

He abused you and controlled you and now he's harassing you. You don't love him, in fact you clearly say you hate him. Your children don't even want a relationship with him. Why on earth would you even THINK of getting back together?

Tell him not to contact you again. If he wants to see the children, he can pursue that and get a court-appointed go-between. His past abuse will have worn down your boundaries and destroyed your defenses. He's relying on the possibility that you are still weakened by what he did to you and can be bullied into letting him back in. DON'T. You have already done much more for him than he deserves and much more than any reasonable person could expect. Go live your life!

He doesn’t remember the past. Luckily, you do. Do NOT let him back into your life.

Do you have family and friends from before your marriage for support? Are your children settled in school? Does he know where they are at school? I’d be tempted to use your maiden name or your mother’s maiden name as a day-to-day surname for them if you want to help them feel that they are not being controlled by him from afar. They can change their surname without parental consent at 16, so that their GCSE and A level certificates are in their chosen name.

First answer nails it

He’s lost his servant and he’s trying to get her back. Nope, put your children first and don’t engage. Go for child support.

You say no. "No" is a compete sentence. (I can't believe you are even asking this. You have your children to think of!)

I voted YABU for even thinking of having him back. You need to stay strong for your kids. Block him and move on with your life.

He can take his pity party elsewhere

You get a restraining order placed on him, and change your phone number. You keep on running in the other direction. You get therapy for yourself and your kids to help you heal from the years of abuse and trauma. You forget all about him and live a happy life with your kids.

He absolutely remembers what he did. How convenient to claim otherwise!

He is trying to manipulate you by denying reality and playing the victim--and if you are starting to feel sorry for him, then it's working. That alone should be your wake up call!

Stay strong. He is doing whatever he can to get back in your life so that he can abuse you all over again.

I have not been in your situation but I have very abusive parents. They pulled the same thing on me after I managed to cut them out of my life (which wasn't easy). The moment I opened the allowed them back in, they reverted right back to their old ways. They also claimed to not remember anything I brought up, played the victim, etc. This behavior is straight out of the abuser's playbook.

By conveniently forgetting their own behavior, the abuser absolves themself of all accountability.

Nothing has changed!!!!

Block him and move on with your life. His words are all self-serving bullshit.

You and your children deserve better. You've done the hard part, you've extracted you and your children from a miserable life. You owe it to them to keep going and not look back. Give them the future they deserve.

He is trying reel you in by changing the history. Block him.