Abusive ex husband begging to come back back saying he doesn’t remember the past

Perhaps this is the jolt that he needs to address his mh issues, if indeed he has them, OP. You cannot fix another adult who will not help themselves. If he comes to realise what he has lost, he may get help for his problems, but that is down to him. You cannot fix him. Stay away for your own sake and your DCs sake.

You’d be a fool to go back to him. Be strong for yourself and your children, make a fulfilling life without him.

So stop sacrificing your children's happiness and security for the sake of a man you cannot fix. He's not mentally ill, he's an abusive drug using fucker and you should be prioritising your children's safety and security, not trying to reel them back into an abusive relationship

do not go back. He will not change. You are safer away from him.

I am sure you have given him hundreds of chances over years already and every time you gave him another chance he threw it back in your face.

He has used up all his chances.

Change your phone number and take the advice of the support services you have for keeping you and your children safe. Remember your children can now be at home or come home from school feeling safe and loved - don't ever give that up.

He may have mental health problems but only he can manage them not you.

This guy is not special. He’s like every abusive man, who forgets, or was ill, or tired, or is lazy.

What you’re facing is a man who says “forget yourself and the children. I’m more important”.

Like every other abusive man they do it because it gets them what they want.

You get on without him and do better. You don’t need or want to carry this parasite anymore

Contact centre or nothing. He will reel you in otherwise. Amd his reaction to that suggestion would tell you everything you need to know.

But I'd just ignore him.

Is he the father to your children?

Stay away! The hard bit is over. You have your children with you. You are safe.

Any chance he finds to demean you, he will use it. Please think about blocking him. Use email only, and only respond if it’s with regards to access to the children. (Might be a good idea to engage a family law solicitor regarding this).

Think of your future, temporary accommodation will not be forever, look forward to moving into your forever home. Safe, away from this awful man.

You have already started on your new life, please don’t invite him back into both yours and your children’s life.

do not let him back.

You ignore him. This is still a form of abuse. Never ever go back to him.

I think you’d get punished by him if you went back. It would escalate and his hold would intensify, and your kids would not be pleased with you and keeping a relationship with them is more important.

Whatever your religion, your first duty is to protect your children from this sorry excuse of a man who can't even acknowledge what he's done.
Don't respond, except to say " I don't want any contact from you and if you continue I will go to the police with a view to having you charged for harassment".

You don’t know what to do? Easy - change your number and move far away.

Do not get back with him. He absolutely does remember, he's just trying to manipulate you. This is what my former step dad used to say and even turned on waterworks for effect.

So you are free of him! Get yourself sorted where you are and enjoy your well deserved freedom. You will get stronger and happier. Don't have unnecessary communications with him - block the phone, and if you must keep a channel open email is a good idea, preferably monitored by someone for you, so that you can ignore anything you don't need to see. Breathe deep, shake your shoulders to loosen them, hold your head high (you have a great thing removing yourself and Dc from this), and enjoy your life.

My ex was abusive, not physically but emotionally and when I left there was a period of adjustment needed. You are traumatised and your body is used to all these stress hormones as constantly walking on eggshells.

I’d highly recommend the freedom program snd also get out in the fresh air. Take little mindfulness breaks and begin to find your inner peace. I used to do a little ten minute standing up yoga session on a bridge at dawn when I walked the dog.

Sounds silly but it’d make feel really centered for the whole day. If you find something similar that works for you then a little trick is to focus on those feelings of quiet strength and gently press a pressure point on your hand or wrist.

Then if feeling stressed, deep breathe, press thst same pressure point and it’ll bring you back to those feelings.

Eomens aid also run counselling sessions for dc to help them come to terms with their feelings.

He’s lying. Of course he remembers.

Keep running. Do not change your mind.

Well have some reassurance from me. You can do it because you already have. When you left, you didn't know if you could because you never had. Now you know you can. And you and your kids are happier. You've already done the hard bit.

when he says he doesn’t remember the past you reply ‘well it’s a good job I do’ then block him.