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Original poster

Nanny calling herself mummy

89 replies

PerplexedMummy · 09/06/2025 11:33

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some advice from fellow mums as I'm really torn and not sure how to handle this situation.
I have a 7-month-old baby and recently hired a nanny to help a few days a week. She’s warm and seems to genuinely enjoy being around my baby, but she has very limited experience with children under 1 year old — and it’s starting to show.
She struggles with basic care (e.g., recently took my baby out in the sun without a hat, and when my daughter got hot and flustered, she told me she might be "allergic to the sun" 😕). I also worry about how confidently she handles feeding and developmental milestones — it feels like she’s just unaware of what’s appropriate at this stage.
But the thing that’s really bothering me is that she’s called herself “mummy” to my baby several times — saying things like “Mummy’s here!” or “Come to mummy!” when talking to her. I find this incredibly uncomfortable. I’ve tried to brush it off, but it keeps happening, and now I’m not sure if I should have a proper conversation about it or whether this is somehow common and I’m overreacting?
Has anyone else experienced this?
How would you handle it?
Thank you so much in advance — any thoughts would really help.

OP posts:
CurbsideProphet · 09/06/2025 12:39

This sounds like the plot to a channel 5 afternoon film.

Birdy1982 · 09/06/2025 12:36

Zero child care qualification & zero experience should be your bigger concern

She isn’t a nanny let alone a mummy…

Original poster
PerplexedMummy · 09/06/2025 12:36

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to reply — I really appreciate all the advice and different perspectives.
As a first-time mum, I’m also learning on the job, and I didn’t realise just how important it is to have someone who really understands things like weaning and supporting key developmental stages. I guess I assumed a lot of it would be common sense — like making sure a baby has a hat on in the sun, or gently waking her if she’s napped for over 3 hours in the morning (especially after a good night’s sleep and having missed a bottle), knowing that it can throw off her night sleep.
I’ve been feeling really guilty about the idea of letting her go, especially as my daughter does seem to love her — which I suppose is natural, since she’s with her all day. But this has helped me realise that love alone doesn’t mean it’s the right fit, and that I need to prioritise what’s best for my baby’s development and wellbeing.
Thank you again — it’s honestly been so reassuring to hear your thoughts.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 09/06/2025 12:33

wandererofthekingdom · 09/06/2025 11:35

You have a Nanny that struggles with basic care.... just this sentence was enough for me to say fire her.
The fact that she calls herself mummy is a huge no from me.

Exactly. Why is she still employed by you?

TheSnugMoose · 09/06/2025 12:33

Hell no, you need to remove her ASAP.

LoafofSellotape · 09/06/2025 12:33

Is she qualified, where did you find her?

BMW6 · 09/06/2025 12:31

Why on earth did you hire such an inexperienced and incompetent person to look after your child???????

Calling herself Mummy is the very least of your concern - or should be!

MyDeftDuck · 09/06/2025 12:30

Is she actually qualified as a Nanny? It does sounds as though she bought her certificate on EBay.

ClarasSisters · 09/06/2025 12:28

ChampagneLassie · 09/06/2025 12:27

This can’t be real. This reads like AI has written it.

It's all very "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle" isn't it?

ClarasSisters · 09/06/2025 12:28

You need a new nanny.

ChampagneLassie · 09/06/2025 12:27

This can’t be real. This reads like AI has written it.

ForestFox44 · 09/06/2025 12:26

She should have been gone yesterday...

MoominMai · 09/06/2025 12:26

Well I’m not a mum but I did pretty much raise my younger sibling from baby upwards and a chat isn’t going to fix this. Just get a new nanny. I assume they’re meant to come ready trained!

orangedream · 09/06/2025 12:26

She sounds more like a teenage babysitter than a nanny, but I'd expect even a teenager to think of putting a hat on a baby in the sun.

She could have read up on developmental milestones in a day if she was bothered.

Tillow4ever · 09/06/2025 12:26

The only thing unreasonable is that you are asking us if this is ok. You know it isn’t. Which makes me wonder if you haven’t employed her as a nanny, or paying professional Nanny wages. In which case are you need to look at why you are skimping about something so important.

FoodAppropriation · 09/06/2025 12:24

she has very limited experience with children under 1 year old — and it’s starting to show.
She struggles with basic care

And you are keeping her as a nanny why?

Whattodo1610 · 09/06/2025 12:22

wandererofthekingdom · 09/06/2025 11:35

You have a Nanny that struggles with basic care.... just this sentence was enough for me to say fire her.
The fact that she calls herself mummy is a huge no from me.

Exactly this.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 09/06/2025 12:19

Where did you find her, what qualifications does she have?

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 09/06/2025 12:17

I was a nanny.

She is struggling with basic care AND she is crossing serious boundaries.

Fire her.

If she can't do the two above things, I certainly wouldn't trust her with other important safety matters and your baby is too young to advocate for themselves.

Bestfootforward11 · 09/06/2025 12:13

Is this a properly qualified nanny or more of an au pair type situation? As I would've thought a qualified person with experience should be able to deal with basic care for a baby and certainly wouldn’t be calling herself mummy. Sounds a bit off. You need to get someone else, no question.

DontTouchRoach · 09/06/2025 12:13

Is this woman actually a qualified nanny, because she sounds... not like a qualified nanny. She sounds a bit mad, actually.

cheddercherry · 09/06/2025 12:13

It’s totally unprofessional to call herself mummy but the issue is you say she struggles with basic care, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my child with her and therefore she’s not fit to do the job you’ve hired her for.

Gundogday · 09/06/2025 12:12

wandererofthekingdom · 09/06/2025 11:35

You have a Nanny that struggles with basic care.... just this sentence was enough for me to say fire her.
The fact that she calls herself mummy is a huge no from me.

Me too.

RealEagle · 09/06/2025 12:09

This cannot be real

WaltzingWaters · 09/06/2025 12:08

I’m a former nanny, I think she’s absolutely batshit to be referring to herself as mummy. Literally possibly quite concerning. I was going to ask if there was a cultural difference but I don’t think even that would be any reasoning for any of what you’ve said to be normal. But obviously the fact she struggles with basic care and a worry over food safety when baby is so young would 100% mean I’d be looking for a new nanny.

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